tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90643409253857097032024-02-07T07:55:15.425+00:00Beq's adventures in second lifeA chronicle of my existence in Second Life.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-7310631026701589732012-06-26T23:58:00.001+01:002012-06-26T23:58:33.150+01:00Lost days .... (part 2)It has been sometime since I wrote of my disappearance, of those lost days, days of wonder and delight, and yet also of fear and despair. Sometime...now there is and under stated claim, it is in point of fact, almost three years.<br />
<br />
I was never able to recount the tale at the time, unable, as I was, to reconcile the loss of my good friends, the people of the undersea, with the selfless and daring rescue by my friends from above. Torn between the two I continued to vacillate, working myself into a state of such confusion that I sought the counsel of a doctor; and ultimately, when he was of little solace, I chose to leave my home behind, to travel the new continent and put distance and time between those memories and that confusion. At least that was the intent.<br />
<br />
I have been back in New Babbage for a few months now, so much has changed in those years, even with my occasional visits to ensure my affairs were in order, the city has marched ever onwards, expanding along the coastline. Of my loyal friends, only Jed appears to be here. Kaylee's old workshop on the port is no longer hers and the Gangplank has changed hands many times over. Not that I ever venture much outside. In the months since I returned, I have been back on land perhaps a dozen times all counted, preferring instead the solitude and serenity of my undersea home in Ægir's hall. I have my dear companion, Miss Judith, to keep me sane.<br />
<br />
Enough though, I digress. I have promised Judith that I would write down this account to get my thoughts and fears in order. To find an answer to those angry questions. To understand why, in the face of the evidence of my friends, in the apparent denial of the facts, in opposition to all that a normal person might hold as reasonable, I still cannot feel any malice towards those beautiful people of the sea.<br />
<br />
I know not why, but, I feel such an affinity to those I am told were my abductors, perhaps even more than that, I could go as far as to say I feel an affection for them, their simple lifestyle had an almost childlike innocence and charm. How could one not be drawn to it?<br />
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My abductors... Abduction to me suggests being taken and held against my will and this does not sit well with my recollection of events. I will now finally attempt to record some of what happened. Though this journal is private, should you be reading this now, as a friend of mine, please understand that I have tried to accept the Mer as the evil aliens that they have been cast by the broader populace but cannot accept the portrait. Forgive me this fact, and look not upon me as ungrateful I truly hold that my rescue and my rescuers are very dear to me. I do not wish to ever devalue their selfless risk on my behalf. As such, in the hope of closing this saga in my own mind, I present the events as they occurred and pray that they are accepted as being as true an account as I am able to render.<br />
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I do not know how long I was unconscious for, it may have been minutes or hours, even days but when I awoke I found myself in a strange room, a cell it has been called, sparingly furnished with a small wooden chair and the bed in which I lay draped in the covers of fine, if somewhat stained, silk. I could not be certain, but something about the atmosphere told me that I was still beneath the sea. How had I got here? I could remember those last moments, feeling their terror more in the memory than I had ever had occasion to at the time.<br />
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<br />
I stepped naked from the bed and stood, somewhat shakily, looking around my new home. The room itself was a large steel box, not dissimilar to the sectional buildings used in our own Vernian Sea structures, a worn and slightly damp, woolen rug lined the floor, comforting my toes who relished the sensation as the y worked themselves into the thick pile. Soft green light was filtering through a domed glass porthole perhaps six metres across. I stepped towards the light source, bending slightly to look upwards towards the light. Outside was the sea, ragged kelp, somewhat bleached by pollution, confirming my initial feeling that I was still beneath the sea, and simultaneously telling me that Babbage was not too far away.<br />
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A shadow moved across the porthole, startling me, and I grabbed backwards toward the bed behind me; fingers outstretched, hunting for the silk sheet, grabbing it and holding it to me before edging forward once more towards the light.<br />
<br />
What I saw next is hard to describe for I can only describe her, as a beautiful abomination. Outside, looking in at me, her head tilting back and forth in curiosity, was a mermaid. Taller than I from head to tail , her face, a fierce beauty, and like her torso, human in form. Of the latter, I speak without doubt, for this creature wore no clothing at all, her breasts and belly as feminine as those concealed so shyly behind the hastily clutched bedsheet. I recall, that even in that moment of first encounter I noticed her navel a sure sign of common ancestry. The curve of her belly shaped down towards her hips but there her human body melted seamlessly into a muscular piscine tail, whose scales shimmered in the soft light. I thought that she was wearing warpaint but soon came to know that this was the colouration of their skins. The Mer are as diverse and pretty as their piscine cousins. My guard that day I would now identify as a lion fish, her hair gathered in a single line of braids atop her skull the rest of her head shaven, if indeed hair grew there at all. Her pale grey/blue skin banded in dark stripes giving her a powerfully, ferocious beauty, the memory of which leaves me speechless to this day.<br />
<br />
Clutching my sheet across my body with my right arm I tapped at the glass, gently at first, then with more vigour. She cocked her head to one side, her tail gracefully maintaining her position in the water. "Can you help me?", I cried out, in the naively human expectation that any intelligent creature must speak my language. Another cock of the head, and then the mermaid seemed to come to a decision, she flicked her tail, arching her athletic body as she shot forward, passing up and over my new home, startling me in the process.<br />
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I waited for her to return for what felt like hours but was probably no more than half. I knotted my bedding into a rudimentary toga, and sat waiting. The light outside was starting to change, and I sensed that evening was approaching. Giving up on my new friend's return I set about exploring my tiny home.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-20959953105339429482009-09-01T00:35:00.004+01:002009-09-02T13:08:26.551+01:00Lost days with the mysteries of the deep (part 1) - discovery<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">What a confused set of events I have wrapped myself up in once again and I see once more at what risk I place others in my reckless abandon.<br /><br />It was some two week past now that I set off to investigate the rumours surrounding the human-like creatures, the so-called Mer-people of the Vernian sea. I have through accident and lack of foresight called too much upon the love of my friends, of one in particular who should by rights have walked away many months ago.<br /><br />The events of the last fortnight have blurred and merged, both dragging out in interminable loneliness and yet with timelessness of the sun free underwater world, assisted by our murky smog filled sky, a near complete loss of the passing of day and night.<br /><br />It was but a few hours after posting my last report to the Primgraph when I set sail. The sun was setting as I left, I had no plan, I had not in truth expected to find more than a pile of junk deposited by the currents of the void sea beyond the charted Vernian's limits. I had left from Aegir's hall, the Hippocampus had been docked there recently following a storm on the surface and recently serviced and cleaned was ready to sail.<br /><br />Undocking from the airlock, I headed due east, rising over the tunnels and heading over the rising seabed towards the region known locally as the deep, the edge of the continental shelf beyond which the sea bed drops suddenly to unfathomable depths as part of the void sea rift. Sure enough, as had been rumoured, out of the gloom emerged what appeared to be a rough pile of man made junk, the jetsam of our cruise ships and I dare say our industrialists but there was something about this stack that struck the human observer attuned to organisation. The stack was no more a random deposit of junk than an ant hill is a pile of dirt, it had form and structure and whilst not aesthetically pleasing per se, a form of its own nonetheless. I skirted around the structure, structure being the best term I could determine for it, and letting my lamps light the many nooks and crannies, marvelling at the way that unrelated bric-a-brac had been fused together. The light at such depths, my gauges registered some 80 metres, is poor at best and I began to question my own observation as I saw shadows flit across my lamps. A dolphin, a seal perhaps but neither seemed quite right, the tail shape, the movement, it was like no cetacean, nor pinniped that I had ever known. A trick of the shadows I decided as I passed more encrusted metal walls that must once have been the hulls of ships.<br /><br />I was moving clockwise around the structure, rising slowly and heading along the west flank of the structure when I came across the most incredible sight. Before me with shimmering scales and iridescent tail fins, swam a woman, both beguilingly beautiful and fearsome at once; her deep blue skin near lost in the gloom her brilliant white hair glowing in my lamp light. She cocked her head to watch me or more correctly my vessel, as I am convinced that she had not at that moment seen me inside but instead was curious about the machine itself. She swam alongside and I ventured to wave at her, an action which brought her up sharp, and with a flick of her tail she vanished.<br /><br />I brought the sub to a halt in mid water. manipulating the side pods to turn myself slowly through a full circle, hunting through the gloom to find this mirage. I could deny this no longer, the rumours were correct, that was no mere trick of the light, Doctor Kaligawa's recent study had indeed accurately identified a new species, potentially a new Linnaean class, as this seemed neither wholly mammalia nor pisces an observation soon reinforced as many shapes emerged from beyond the reach of my lamps.<br /><br />I was surrounded now by curious creatures of a beauty unseen in our world. Their skins of bright hues, oranges and blues, greens and reds. Their limbs part human in form, part alien, having the form of a fish's tail or the legs of an octopus. They moved closer, cautiously at first, and I held the vessel as steady as I could, with shaking hands as I watched in awe. With a few minutes the bolder individuals had reached out to touch and prod the craft and smiled in at me, their faces pressed to the glass as I waved nervously back.<br /><br />All of a sudden there was an almighty cracking sound, the screech of metal on metal, the creatures scattered back into the murk as the submarine pitched to port, spinning out of control, water began to flood in and I panicked. I tried to open the hatches, but they were jammed, I know now of course that this was simply the pressure imbalance but in my confusion I just wanted to get out as the water rose, already above the knee and rapidly heading to my waist. The pitching and rolling of the Hippocampus was putting enormous strain on its structure, and I briefly battled to stabilise it, fighting with the controls as it crashed head long into the bedrock, my last memories of that incident, were of the crushing pressure of water and the sound of breaking glass as I was thrown around the small cabin. I believe I struck my head, the evidence supports this, in any event, I lost consciousness and by all reasonable expectations should have died.<br /><div class="zemanta-pixie"><img src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=d9c8b6c7-93c7-8f2d-a4cd-3613acdc7590" alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" /></div></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-34230709544959875682009-08-13T15:18:00.004+01:002009-08-13T15:24:42.030+01:00The Messenger, the Sycophant and the BrideA carefully reassembled series of pages dated late December. ((Very long))<br /><br />........hearing voices, I sniffed the air, my sense were more acute now, I could isolate individuals, there were two strangers here.<br /><br />"Sorry brother, I am simply unfamiliar with your order.", a woman's voice, softly spoken. I entered the room and the speaker glanced up from where she was sat on the couch next to Nareth.<br /><br />Nareth looked to the door and smiled.<br />"Miss Janus..."<br />"Nareth, we have guests"<br />"Yes, quite so. You've not met Lina, I see. And this is Brother....The name escapes me."<br />A man sat on a wooden seat, his back to me, dressed in a thick woollen cloak of natural wool, he looked over and nodded.<br /><br />"Joshua Palubiki", his voice rich and melodic<br />"Palubiki...Yes. Brother Palubiki."<br />I smiled, his scent was strong and not at all unpleasant, "Brother Joshua, pleased to make your acquaintance.". He returned my greeting with a simple nod and I turned to smile at Lina, unsure of myself, her scent was an odd mixture, of flower and death, a corpse in a meadow and yet if this was confusing there was no mistaking her demeanour, impassive and cold she simply stared. Nareth continued smiling at me, and offered her hand up, guiding me to sit next to her on the couch. "and Lina too, I have heard so much.".<br /><br />"And I have heard much about you, miss.", Lina replied curtly. Was this jealousy I could sense. Did she see me as invading?<br /><br />"Please, Brother. Continue.", said Nareth, cutting back any further conversation with Lina. "You were saying.."<br />The priest nodded, "I believe you assistant had questions though."<br />"Lina? Did she? Oh yes about ...your...lord"<br />Lina Olaria nodded. "Yes, Professor-Sama."<br />"Very well, then carry on", Nareth glanced at me, watching my eyes, holding my hand tightly.<br />The priest started to answer, "Well, It's the same Lord we all pray too. There are just differing opinion. May I ask, are you Protestants?". Nareth laughed out loud. Lina Olaria smiled, shaking her head. Brother Joshua frown in confusion "I don't believe I understand how to help then.". My head was full of images, the priest dripping blood, they were not repulsive to me. His scent charmed me as his voice sang. Was this how it was now, my mind started to cry out as I was carried forward in waves of hunger. I squeezed Nareth's hand, licking my lips, to this day I think that if she had allowed me to follow my instincts, my resolve would have crumbled.<br /><br />"Forgive me, Father. I have no faith, to speak of. I do not speak for the others.". I noticed, the attention of Lina focussed on me, seemingly watching me breath, peering at my mouth as I spoke. The priest continued to look confused<br /><br />"None, or just been absent?", he replied staring at Nareth. Nareth paused, tying her hair back away from her face, before taking my hand in hers again.<br /><br />"None.", she stated, challenging further response. There was silence for a moment. Before Lina continued.<br />"And I talk to the ancestors...to the Youkai...and the Oni."<br /><br />"Well, even if you haven't been to church. You have faith, yes?", the priest seemed completely distracted by the thought.<br /><br />"You have never met an unbeliever?", asked Nareth, a wry smile on her lips. Lina Olaria runs one finger along the rim of her tea bowl and glanced at Nareth.<br /><br />"I've heard stories of them, but not actually met one. Typically they sound like anarchists trying to smash society."<br /><br />"Oh, hardly. I was merely raised without a faith. And never adopted one thereafter."<br /><br />"That sounds inconceivable in this day and age. Unless you were raised on the dark continent, I had thought the whole world would have become enlightened.".<br /><br />Nareth laughed again, "There are very enlightened atheists, Brother. I assure you. But...we have not heard from Miss Janus."<br /><br />I spluttered a little, mumbling not having expected to be dragged into such a conversation.<br /><br />"I...err..u...I w..was brought up in a religious order of sorts, my faith was lost when I lived upon the streets and saw the acts of the "enlightened" world.<br /><br />The priest looked up from his cup, "My apologies.", he offered, quickly sipping his tea.<br /><br />"You were an orphan, yes?", asked Nareth, I could feel Lina's gaze fixed on me.<br /><br />"Perhaps", I replied, as truthfully as I might, "my mother died in childbirth, my father was never known."<br /><br />"Close enough.", sniffed Nareth.<br /><br />"I was raised within the court of a state that no longer exists, my mother a Corigye to the court. I naturally was adopted into that family".<br /><br />Lina Olaria sipped her tea. "A Corigye, Miss Janus?", and the priest cocked his head as if to second the question.<br />"An acolyte within a harem, Miss Olaria.", I smiled back.<br /><br />"The Brother merely seeks a less delicate word.", added Nareth, "Whore, perhaps?". Nareth squeezed my hand. I looked to the priest and licked my lips.<br /><br />Brother Joshua's hands shook as they held his tea cup, and he swallowed hard.<br />I smiled at him, "If the brother would prefer a whore then that he may have.". I smiled as Nareth sniggered.<br /><br />"Or are you celibate?", Nareth probed and the priest made no reply, gazing fixedly in to the shadows. "Brother?"<br /><br />Suddenly snapping back to life the priest rose from is seat, "I'm sorry. It's getting late and I still need to meet with the local inquisitor."<br /><br />Nareth nodded. "Lina...please, show the Brother out. I trust you will return....Another time. Good day, Brother.". Lina Olaria rose and set her tea bowl down, offering to take the Brothers.<br /><br />"This way please, Brother.", she nodded to the door. Nareth raised a hand, and the chair dissolved. "I trust you will visit us again, soon."<br /><br />"Mistress...", Nareth turned to me as Lina walked back into the room taking the tea tin from the laboratory table, replacing it in the filing drawer. "He may be...someone I have been waiting for. Then again...it may be he is not. The dice are rolling.".<br /><br />I Noticed now the tight know in my stomach, the hunger lust faded with the absence of the priest, replaced now my a cold empty hunger. "How will we know if he is the one?"<br /><br />"Oh, I will know. As will he.", she finished. Nareth looked over to Lina and back to me. "The two of you should be properly introduced...Lina...Beq...". Lina nodded to me. I smiled and nodded back, squeezing Nareth's hand.<br /><br />"He was not what I expected, Professor-Sama."<br />"Nor I, Lina."<br />"Not at all. There is a prophecy, that the Messenger will meet a Heretic. The Heretic will be a disciple, and then will betray me. It is only a prophecy, but sometimes they are not far off.", Lina step forward and knelt before the Professor, Japanese style, on the floor. Nareth smiled to Lina. "Please Beq. Make yourself more comfortable. "It is...", Nareth paused, searching for words. Nareth Nishi: ...it is almost as though we have become a family now. Three sisters, all Daughters of Lilith.", she stopped and looked at me. "Even if one still draws breath.". Lina Olaria smiled and Nareth reached up to removes her spectacles.<br /><br />"Lina are you sure you won't sit up here?", I indicated back to where Lina had previously sat.<br /><br />"She kneels, Beq. It is her place.". Lina lowered her head in assent.<br /><br />"I see, how quaint"<br /><br />"She is the Sycophant. We all must play our roles."<br />I settled back onto the cushions, feeling sure now that the priest had had a lucky escape this night. Nareth held out a hand, smoothing Lina's hair, which seemed to stir a bit at the Professor's touch. "Are you hungry, Lina?"<br /><br />"Yes, Professor-Sama. I am."<br />"Then, let us show Beq how you feed.", Nareth pulled her hand away as I looked from Nareth to Lina, puzzled. "Kneel before *her*, Lina. As you would me.". Lina nodded and turned away from the Professor, facing me as I watched her intently. "Now...Beq...you will place your hand on top of Lina's head. A finger will suffice.". Nervously as if being dared I leant out placing my right hand upon Miss Olaria's head, fanning my fingers through her hair. Nareth sat back watching with pleasure. Lina turned her head slightly so the back of her hair could be seen and to my shock and surprise, the hair begins to move of its own accord, parting.<br /><br />"Fascinating...isn't it? Do not be startled, Beq.", I edged back in my seat but left the hand in place, nodding to Nareth.<br /><br />"If you insist Nareth". The hair waved away from Lina's shoulders, and wraps itself around my arm, pulling it slightly forward as Lina's skull spilt open, forming lips, teeth, and a tongue. Nareth laughed loudly with a sort of delight as I gasped and instinctively pulled away, only to find I was held fast.<br /><br />"Oh Really, Beq.", dismissed Nareth, "It is only a mouth. Only teeth.". I frowned, tugging still. Lina's hair wrapped tight around my arm, like a serpent, winding. Then a long tongue reached out seeking my hand, flicking and tickling my fingers as the hair pulls my fingertips toward the mouth. "We must learn not to be squeamish.". I stared, mouth agape, my hand was dragged toward the vicious looking mouth, entering the mouth. Without warning sharp rows of teeth bit down upon it, scissoring. The lips began to suck.<br /><br />There was no sensation of pain, but a sensation of tingling, electricity, like the touch of another's tongue on your own. "You see?", Said Nareth, reading my thoughts, "It is only another form of the kiss.". I murmured, a soft moan, closing my eyes. "It was a surprise to me, as well. There are so many...surprises...".<br /><br />The mouth at the back of Lina's head began to gnaw on the fingers and flesh of my hand. A little blood trickling down Lina's scalp and neck.<br /><br />"Nothing is simple.", mused Nareth, "I thought I would make two like me...You are both....", her voice trailed off. The hair began to loosen around my arm. "Have you had you fill, Lina?". I withdrew my hand, examining my fingers. A lacerated mess of skin sucked pale pink-white, a trace of red blood now starting to reappear. "It will heal, quickly enough. You know that."<br /><br />I nodded as Lina spoke, both mouths speaking in unison, "We are full, Professor-Sama."<br /><br />"Nareth?", I offered out my hand as the blood drips formed. "before it heals?". Nareth smiled. It would be rude of me to refuse, Mistress. Lina's hair began to swirl back over her shoulders, the teeth and lips drawing back in her skull, a flap of skin sealing both in as her hair waves back in place. She turned her head around again and gazed at the Professor and I.<br /><br />Nareth took my hand in both of hers, and drew the mutilated flesh to her mouth. I groaned as the rough tongue caressed my fingers, as Nareth took my warm blood into her mouth. Nareth bit down, lightly..as I closed my eyes once more breathing deeply. Nareth opened her eyes, and let the fingers slip from her mouth. "Kind of you...Mistress". She looked at me with an air of suspicion. I brushed Nareth's cheek with my good hand, feeling the warmth entering her skin and smiled, noticing a flicker of desire in Lina's eyes. Nareth lay back again on the couch staring up at the ceiling, wiping blood and spittle from her lips and chin. "We are a circle now. As we must be. The Messenger...the Sycophant...the Bride."<br /><br />"The bride, Nareth?"<br /><br />"Yes...", she stared at me, Lina Olaria bowed her head slightly at the Professor's words and watched for my reaction. "There must be a bride, Mistress. Our Lady will require one.<br /><br />"There is always a Bride.", added Lina.<br /><br />"Each must play their role", I mused, recalling her earlier words.<br /><br />"Precisely.", Nareth grinned. "Even Mr. Wirefly and his orchid. We all have much to learn. I am filled every instant with revelation. You breathe, Beq Janus. I never guessed at that."<br /><br />"It was somewhat of a welcome surprise to me Nareth", I smirked.<br /><br />"Yes...I thought so. Though..I have thought..should the amulet...break. or *be* broken.". I looked hard at Nareth. "Would that not be a blessing? To be released... Completely released..<br /><br />"I am not convinced Nareth, I quite like the ..... warmth"<br /><br />"Of course. But then...it is all you have known."<br /><br />Lina Olaria looked up at me. "May I see the amulet?" she asked politely. "I have heard of this thing....". Nareth watched Lina closely.<br /><br />"Lina...there is something I should explain, in case it is not clear.", Nareth's voice is firm, but not harsh. Lina Olaria tilted her head toward the Professor, listening. "Through a sort of...technicality...I serve Miss Janus. She is my Mistress. It was ..... necessary. But it lays certain strictures upon me...The amulet is a grey area, for example". I looked down at my hand and watch as the tips of my fingers reunite and form new tissue. I giggle a little at the tickling sensation of renewed life. "Were I not so bound, I would have destroyed it long since.", I looked up sharply.<br /><br />I am not certain I understand, Professor-Sama.<br /><br />"Before you arrived, Lina...I had to battle a beast...It threatened both our lady's plans *and* this city. Miss Janus was given the chance to choose between...evils, shall we say. She chose me, as her champion. But in being chosen, I was bound to her, irrevocably". Lina Olaria nodded, listening. "The bond can not be undone. She is not bound to obey me. Though I must, in many ways, obey her. This will all seem strange to you, Lina. You came looking for the Black Pharaoh...". Nareth trails off and looked back at me. "It is an odd arrangement. Lina nodded, slowly, considering what the Professor had explained.<br /><br />Lina looked up at me. "Then surely it is a small thing to allow me to examine the amulet, Miss. I serve the Professor-Sama. She serves you.". Nareth narrowed her eyes. "What harm could come of it?"<br /><br />"It is kept under lock and key, away from here.". My thoughts turned to Dr Dayafter and moreover to Jed, I tried hard to push them out of my mind. Nareth nodded slowly.<br /><br />"There you have it, Lina".<br /><br />Lina Olaria gazed evenly at me. "Yes, Professor-Sama. I do."<br /><br />"The amulet is...protected. It has a name...Harmonia.". Lina turned her head slightly toward the Professor.<br /><br />"May I ask, who named it? And what the name portends? I am merely...curious, Professor-Sama."<br /><br />"Beq? Would you wish to answer?"<br /><br />"It is an ancient name, it was the name that it had when I heard of it. It came to me not more than 6 months ago."<br /> <br />"A drowned girl..." Nareth added, Lina's eyes moving from the Professor to me.<br /><br />"It came to you, Miss?"<br /> <br />"Something the sea spat up.", Nareth, continued. "Flotsam. A more fitting name.". I frowned at the apparent mockery and at Nareth's face, her features stern now.<br /><br />"It was a gift to Harmonia daughter of Aphrodite by the seed of Ares. A gift from Hephaistos", I blurted. Nareth laughed softly. "Old gods...But not old enough. Dead gods. Forgotten."<br /><br />Lina Olaria grins. "Not so old at all. And there is much that lies beneath the sea.". Nareth made a scoffing noise.<br /><br />"Yes...There is always a siren...Isn't that so, Mistress? Is that not what the Impaler told you?", I nodded, recalling that night. "I thought as much, though those echoes are closed to me. He told me...that night I was sealed. And yes, Lina knows. She has seen. When the day comes, it will be the Sycophant...Lina...who cuts the relics from my belly. Then, she will deliver them to the Bride. Your dowry, Beq."<br /><br />"I was never a fan of arranged marriages Nareth", I interjected.<br /><br />"Without it, you would not survive our Lady's sight.". Lina looked at the Professor with surprise, but nodded, unquestioning. "Oh...it is not quiet that simple. But..the dice are rolling. You may yet refuse. I may be slain by the Hunter. All may fail."<br /><br />"We must not fail," Lina said quietly.<br /><br />"The Hunter, another role, but what of this ...Brother.. what is his part?"<br /><br />"He is, if I am correct, the Heretic. It may be he who delivers me unto the Hunter. Or it may not. The Hunter may be slain. This is a game that has been played a million times. Lina looked up at Nareth, the professor, the Messenger.<br /><br /> But...there is a little time...I think.<br /> <br />"Professor-Sama...if the Heretic betrays you...."<br /> <br /> "Yes?"<br /><br />"Or...attempts to betray you.... Will you give him to me?<br /><br />"No. But you may take him of your own accord. Once we know. But not before.". A closed smile crossed Lina's face as she saw swallow as earlier thoughts burned briefly once again, reminding me of my hunger.<br /><br />"Nareth?", I ventured, nervously, not wanting the taunting and provocation that would now ensue.<br />"Yes, Beq?", she replied not reading my thoughts as I had hoped, I sighed, "Yes?"<br /><br />"I have not yet eaten".<br /><br />"No, you have not, Mistress."<br /><br />"Would you remedy that?"<br /><br />"I feel a hunger gnawing at me".<br /><br />"Imagine...if it could not be sated.", Nareth, looked away nonchalantly. "The Impaler left me in that tower a week...". Nareth stopped, as if reconsidering her view. "Lina...would you provide for my Mistress' needs? Lina Olaria nodded, then unbuttoning the sleeve at her wrist she lifted her wrist up.<br /><br />"If you wish, Miss Janus...or there is pig's blood.". I looked down at Lina, a fire of hunger burning now. She watched me as my tongue passed across my lips.<br /><br />"Oh, we do not offer *her* sow's blood."<br />"Yes, Professor-Sama."<br />"Not the Bride.", Lina pulled her sleeve back from her wrist as I took her hand, looking shyly at Nareth, glancing back to the pale white flesh. Nareth smiled...ready to mock once more. "Your teeth, Mistress? Do you require assistance?". I looked up embarrassed.<br /><br />"yes please Nareth".<br /><br />!It is a small matter...", she smiled sweetly, leaning forward, and with her sharp nails, opening Lina's wrist before leaning back licking her fingers.<br /><br />I raised Lina's wrist to my lips, watching Lina's eyes as I did so.<br /><br />"Serve her, Lina, as you serve me.". Lina's eyes met mine her dark eyes, intense. I licked gently at the tear, before sucking deeply, my lips pressed firmly over her veins. Lina shuffled closer, her head tilted back slightly, her eyes focused, her lips parting. As Nareth watched, her own hunger stirring again. "Ahhhh", she sighed, "What beauties we must make...What gems.". I drank Lina's blood, relaxing as I felt it flow into me. "When they finally see us, and *know* us for what we are...", Nareth snorted, licking her dry lips. I studied Lina intently, studying her face, her lips, and her neck as I sucked hard at her wrist, lapping with my tongue at flap of skin that had sealed her vein. She breathed deeply, a slight shiver running through her. Her thrill at "the kiss" as evident as my own. We were indeed of a similar kind now.<br /><br />"She is yours, Mistress. If you wish her.", Nareth broke in. "As she is mine.". Nareth settled back into the cushions as I looked to Nareth then back to Lina. "The monk, though...something is not...as I thought it would be. I shall have the think hard on this". Nareth stood.<br /><br />Lina Olaria lowered her head in a slight bow of deference to Miss Janus. A little blood dribbled from her wrist and dripped to the floor as I stopped drinking, my hunger sated. Watching Lina I ran my tongue along her arm from her palm to her elbow, cleaning the wound. Watching Lina's eye's close at my touch.<br /><br />"Thank you Lina.", I nodded my gratitude, unsure now whether gratitude and manners were in the right place.<br />"you are welcome, Miss".<br /><br />"Lina, you will sleep with me. Miss Janus takes the bed. The casket is not to her liking.". Nareth turned towards the casket. As I stood stretching.<br /><br />"As you wish, Professor-Sama. Let me remove the tea things."<br /><br />"Yes...I will be waiting.", Nareth lifted the heavy lid of the casket, a black mist escaping. Nareth paused and turned towards the bed. "Mistress...Soon...he will speak with you.". Lina gathered up the pot and the three tea bowls, then took them downstairs. "There are things he wishes you to know, that must not be known to me."<br /><br />"I shall expect him then", I replied, not understanding any of this. Nareth turned back to the casket and slipped inside, almost seeming to *flow*.<br /><br />Lina paused at the threshold of the door, before coming inside, shutting the door behind her. "Rest well, Miss Janus". I smiled back at her, removing my boots and sitting on the edge of the bed.<br /><br />"and you Lina". I watched as Lina climbed into the coffin beside Nareth, laying on one side to face her, Nareth reached up, pulling down the casket's lid with a thud. I watched the solid stone casket from across the room, as I slowly undressed before climbing on to the bed facing the wall.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-37093453171421959822009-07-01T13:34:00.000+01:002012-05-12T23:51:19.464+01:00Every little helps<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
Last night I took my boldest steps so far to aid the resistance. I have still to meet their leaders and will do so in my overt role of news correspondent. They will undoubtedly have a mistrust of me. I have been out of town for their suffering, and since my return I have been seen to collude perhaps with the forces of the overlord. I hope that my reports will be read in the manner to which I wish them, no collusion.<br />
<br />
I took a great risk though tonight. I used a contact in the printers down in the Canals. I've used him in the past for small run print tasks for business purposes and I met him in a bar, bad mouthing the regime. Together we colluded to print a small run of fake notices, the official stamp of the overlord but defaced with a battered hat adorning an oppressive sounding notice. I bet the goons will never realise that this is not from the governor, yet if they were to read, if indeed they can read, the odd numbered lines they would find the message we have hidden.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3620/3676923738_06f13caf97_d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3620/3676923738_06f13caf97_d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
A public announcement:-<br />
<br />
To the hard working and loyal citizens of<br />
Obolenskidonia, who refute the past name<br />
New Babbage. Please take heed your<br />
overlord, Doctor Obolenski has denied that<br />
Clockwinder Tenk is alive and returning<br />
All rumour mongering is to cease completely<br />
by the end of this week<br />
or the overlord will demonstrate his enormous<br />
power to the citizens.<br />
<br />
<br />
And yes it is true. I have seen and heard enough to convince me now that the Clockwinder is alive and more than that will be returning to the City soon. I far however that what is obvious to an observer such as I is not going unnoticed to the powers that rule here. The ships amassing in the Vernian Sea attest to this concern. There will be more blood and iron lost before this chapter closes. I am confident that Babbage will prevail of course, what could possibly go wrong?<br />
<br />
I donned my cloak and wore my most dreary working clothes, heading out into the night to post the notices. I have placed them all about the town, no doubt the wiser goons will tear them down, but I need only do enough to get the message of hope to my friends. Towards this goal I am now about to head into more dangerous territory. I am going to deliberately seed these posters and the truth of their content. I am off to the bars and taverns, no one can know it is I. With luck I will write more when I return.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-80129356808586261152009-06-27T20:41:00.001+01:002009-06-27T20:41:22.950+01:00Interviewing the general<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><font face='sans-serif'>The interview with the general was a nerve wrcking trial. The man is a puzzle, constantly threatened and challenged he seems tired </font>of power, of conflict. <br/><br/>I installed myself in one of the comfortable cubicles at the window overlooking the old theatre. Loki's absinthe bar at least was relatively unchanged by the new leadership.<br/><br/>I looked at my watch, sipping a small absinthe, watching the condensation dribble down the outside as the crushed ice melted slowly. It was almost half past three, a quarer of an hour late. I should <br/>expect no less. I began towonder if the general would appear at all. Just then the door opened.<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe sighed as he entered, "Dreadfully sorry I am late...I had some business to oversee..."<br/><br/>"Captain Kuroe. A pleasure to see you again. Or is it general now?", I had not noticed Lans Starsider until he spoke, he was nursing a bottle on the far side of the bar.<br/><br/>"General... Captain... Commodore...it does depend on the situation doesn't it?", replied the General, "General of the Obolenskidonian air Corps for the time being.". I looked up and waved to the <br/>general. "Head of police and anti -revolutionary forces in our fair city."<br/><br/>"Mademoiselle Beq." "General.", I smiled up as the general bowed, "please join me" <br/><br/> "To be honest I care little about the title so much as after I say 'By the authority granted me by Obolensky' people do what I say.", he stated, completing his previous conversation and sliding into <br/> the booth.<br/><br/>"Do you know the other fellow at the table there very well?", he asked, indicating to the table where Mr. Starsider was sat. For a moment I feared that my earlier trust had been misplaced, or that we <br/>had been observed. I pulled out my pen and a notepad, and looked around as nonchalantly as I could.<br/><br/>"No, sir , can't say as I do.", It was not entirely a lie. "He is not a Babbager, I know most of our residents. An Obolenskidonian I mean."<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe nodded, "Ah... a socialite as well.". I had sat watching the door deliberately, and saw Wiggy Undertone enter. I was pleased to see a familiar face at last but I could see by the set of <br/>his frown that he was not happy, nor here for a quiet drink. It was obvious how this must look. I began the interview being sure that he overheard my opening statement.<br/><br/>"So..General, I am so pleased that you agreed to give me this interview. May I start by checking how you would wish to be addressed for the purposes of publication?"<br/><br/>Wiggy Undertone strode up to the table and nodded tersely, "Hello. Mr. Kuroe... Surprise seeing you here.. alone."<br/><br/>I looked over to Wiggy worried that this was about to escalate. Wiggy stood and folded his arms. The general ignored Wiggy and nodded to me, "My pleasure... and General does seem fitting...". he <br/>turned to Wiggy, "Oh good evening... I would arrest you but I am a tad occupied. I would shoot you as well but it is a lovely carpet."<br/><br/>"Well, I'm glad for small favors....", replied Wigggy, nonplussed, "very small....", I could feel his stare as I scribbled notes. "I ducked in here to get away from an airship piloted by one of your <br/>cohorts no doubt and I'm very surprised to see you here with him Beq...."<br/><br/>I frowned, the disgust he felt, palpable in his words. The general seemed amused by this and grinnned broadly, "Ah... and how are you liking ducking in alleyways? It's such an invigorating exercise."<br/><br/>"Wiggy, its been a while." I looked up meeting his gaze. "Yes." "I returned today, to find, a few changes. I am working for the Primgraph, Miss Widdershins has asked me to report on the new regime.". <br/>Wiggy raised an eyebrow, "Ah, that's good to know! I don't want to say what I thought at first....", I shot a glare at Wiggy, I could do without being undermined but I had no way to allay his <br/>suspicions. I returned to look at the general with a smile. Wiggy looked out of the window and turned to leave.<br/><br/>I tried to make remarks in defence of Wiggy, how useful he was as an engineer, how stubborn he could be. Kuroe, stared back, "It is his choice", he said, and I returned to the interview.<br/><br/>"So is it fair to say then that in Obolenskidonia, the new administration supports freedom to choose? You seem to tolerate the anger of certain elements."<br/><br/>Kuroe sighed, slumping onto the table. "I have people with guns shooting at my men...I would rather focus my attentions towards them."<br/><br/>"I see"<br/><br/>"You must forgive my ignorance in these matters, I have returned today and I am still catching up with rumours and news"<br/><br/>General Kuroe nodded. "Should I bring you up to speed?"<br/><br/>"That would be wonderful"<br/><br/>Kuroe's mouth curled into what might have been a smile, his cigarette holder bobbing. "Obolensky disposed of the horrible drunkard of a Mayor... and shipped in his clanks or robots or what have <br/>you...And... of course hired myself and my fleet to oversee the dismantling of the militia and securing of the skyways. I nodded, scribbling frantically We set at once to taking the former militia <br/>headquarters... there was resistance but superior weaponry and a well placed gatling cannon shoed the lot off...<br/><br/>I swallowed. "Were there many casualties?". My mind turned to those many friends as yet unseen, missing.<br/><br/>"I suffered a shot to the shoulder...and another was slashed badly. Oh... Oh you mean for the resistance? We didn't count anything... just dumped what we could in the canal". I sat staring at the <br/>general for a moment, he did not show emotion just tiredness.<br/><br/>"So the Obolensky regime is holding fast now?"<br/><br/>"Obolenskidonia is holding strong."<br/><br/>"Are there any plans that you are able to share? This report wil be read by many of your citizens."<br/><br/>"Aside from the scone factory?"<br/><br/>"ahh yes the scone factory. Gainful employment for the children as I recall<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe nodded. "A charming endeavour...personally... I would rather see the militia heads stand trial and the rest of the lot shipped off to... oh I haven't a clue some slave labour."<br/><br/>"stand trial.....shipped off". I parrot as I scribble at my notepad. "But, yes, beyond the scone factory, what plans can the doctors' favoured general share.", I smiled.<br/><br/>The general looked about. On the other side of the bar, Lans Starsider seemed engrossed in his endeavour to get drunk. Ashiko Kuroe cleared his throat, "Well such things... are a tad bit secret... but <br/>I can leak it out that the aether program is well underway."<br/><br/>"the aether program? that sounds ambitous indeed."<br/><br/>"Well our proud nation is forming alliances and rivalries every day... we must do something. And if... said something happens to expand our borders... well... all the more better."<br/><br/>"expands our borders....", I tapped the pad with my pencil. "Quite so. May I ask why the Doctor picked the city of Bababge?"<br/><br/>"Opportunity presented itself? I cannot entirely speak for the man."<br/><br/>"I see"<br/><br/>"I can say why I have returned to New Babbage... or Obolenskidonia as it is now called... but the Doctor...the man's mind is as a steel trap..."<br/><br/>"then I put the question to you directly. We have after all met in other circumstances. What is it that brings you back here?"<br/><br/>The general grins, a broad, teethed grin, reaching up to his face and touching the brass prosthetic eye. "Revenge, of course... During a previous visit... I had lost my eye."<br/><br/>"and this revenge, do you feel it is now met, through your elevation to general, your status in the city". I glanced out the window at a movement, before snapping my attention back to the general. <br/>Outside listening against the glass was young Jimmy.<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe reached for a cup of green liquor taking a sip shaking my head "Oh my status? I am a pawn in the grand scheme of things..."<br/><br/>"A well rewarded pawn, I would anticipate"<br/><br/>"Yes my coffers in Armada are swelling... but to be perfectly honest with each poster defiled and each scribbling on the wall I must confess... it is a tad grading..."<br/><br/>"Loyalty does not come cheap, the doctor must recognise this?"<br/><br/>"Yes... but I do take liberties in my power... Taxes for wearing mismatched socks. and the like."<br/><br/>I nodded, scribbling. "sartorial taxation....very good. General, I must depart, and I am sure you have important busines to be getting on with. Thank you for taking the time to answer a few <br/>questions."<br/><br/>The general nodded, "Yes... I do hope this was helpful to you."<br/><br/>"very much so. Good day."<br/><br/>I left the bar, as I went Lans Starsider seemed to salute me, a half drunken <br/>hiccup, disguising a nod.<br/><br/></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-30259466181305015942009-06-27T11:00:00.001+01:002009-06-27T11:00:27.384+01:00Obolenskidonia - Babbage under siege, meeting general Kuroe<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>I alluded previously to an interview, I should perhaps recount the events that led to that. As the boy Skyler has since contacted me. I am to call out to him and thus meet the resistance. <br/><br/>Things are dangerous here. I do not think I am under suspicion but at the same time I do not think I can assume that I am not watched. Above all else I have to take care in my reports not to betray my <br/>friends. Some friends may themselves be doubting of my values too, not pausing to consider my position and simply concluding that I am a collaborator based upon their observations.<br/><br/>I had not been back in the City for long when I came upon the newly promoted General Kuroe. I had left my house in the palisades late in the afternoon and took the trolley bus through to the port, <br/>alighting at Larklight Alley. Immediately ahead I saw the familiar figure of Kuroe, he was talking with a young lady, Miss Jaggernov, I believe her name. I had met her briefly in Viv Trafalgar's <br/>store. she had alarmed me then, her trust or perhaps her naivety had led her to tell me of the resistance and I had since been concerned for her safety if she was so open to all she met. But now I saw <br/>her talking amiably with the General. this brought further questions to mind. Had she been toying with me? Assessing the "loyalty" of this apparent "newcomer" to town? Or was she protecting herself by <br/>building a bond with the enemy? They had noticed me so I had little choice by now than to approach.<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe nodded "Ah... well I look forward to hearing about it." "Good day Ma'am!", smiled Miss Jaggernov "Good day madam, general.", I replied. "As I believe is now the appropriate term of <br/>address former Capt. Kuroe" "Former?", blinked the general as Miss Jaggernov raised an eyebrow. "It is said that in my absence things have changed, indeed the evidence around town certainly supports <br/>that, and that you have been elevated".<br/><br/>Kuroe grinned his cigarette holder jutting "Ah... General of course...". Scarlet Jaggernov smiles in relief, I smiled in return. "Indeed... how may I assist you Citizen?", he continued.<br/><br/>"I have been out of the city. I am a loyal citizen of Babbage sir, I do hope you will not hold against me our previous altercations?"<br/><br/>General Kuroe looked at his hat shaking his head "No you took very good care of my hat... I cannot fault someone who is that considerate. Now that you have returned are you needing any permits <br/>warrants or scones?"<br/><br/>The latter forced a gasp of surprise from Miss Jaggernov, and I can only conclude that the mere thought of such a delicacy in times where much of the population appear to be short of provisions. Miss <br/>Jaggernov went on to ask about the factory and the conditions of employment. Genreal Kuroe remarked that it would be staffed by criminals and in a careless moment I retorted to the effect that <br/>criminal was a subjective term. Luckily that error passed unnoticed and Genreal Kuroe explained that the fatory would be using children and criminals such as Mara Razor, that the conditions would be <br/>as expected of Doctor Obolensky. Miss Jagger was quite upset at the implications and proceed tio get angry with the general.<br/><br/>This lady confuses me greatly, she may well be a resistnace supporter/sympathiser but she also demonstrates a remarkable closeness and frankness in interacting with the General. At that time I <br/>realised that I could not without further knowledge trust this lady, but it is my aim to determine her true colours as I am in no doubt that her position of apparent trust could be useful if her enery <br/>and volatility could be reined in somewhat.<br/><br/>Away to my right, a gentleman had taken up a nonchalant position leant against a lmapost and looking out across the harbour. I took him to be one of the General's secret guard.<br/><br/>I changed the subject. "Sir, I would love to interview you for the journal with which I have recently taken employment. You may have heard of it, The Primgraph."<br/><br/>The general adjusted his false eye as he weighed the options before briskly asking, "This isn't a trap is it?"<br/><br/>"The Primgraph is of course a balanced and fair publication, we have our reputation to think of. We would not wish to upset the standing or the sales of our publication within the City by slandering <br/>its leaders."<br/><br/>"Ah... well then... I suppose I am available.", The general glanced over my shoulder as a young boy walked past hefting a large rifle upon his back.<br/><br/>"Skyler!", cried Miss Jaggernov, "Hello dear! How are you?" "'Ello Miss Scarlet. I'm doin' good. Jus'...wanderin' 'round town." "Come give me a hug, darling!", the young lad hugged Miss Jaggernov, <br/>"Did you enjoy the ball?" "Aye... It was fun." "One of you future employees General", I probed. Miss Jaggernov shot a murderous look between us. "I think not! Mr Kuroe, how could you even look cruelly <br/>on something so adorable!!" Ashiko Kuroe turned to the lad, eyeing the boy cautiously, "Who is he? And why is he armed?" Worried for the lad's safety I interjected, fabricating an excuse, "its just a <br/>toy I expect, isn't it lad?". "Isn't it!", I asserted.<br/><br/>The you ng lad, Skyler stared at the general a moment before turning to me. "No miss... it's th' real deal." I sighed, and shook my head, you can't help some people it seems. "I've seen it work! It <br/>is.", added Miss Jaggernov, compunding the damage. "I'm sure he means no harm with it General", I explained. The General blinked and sighed, "Child...When a man of authority asks you if the gun is <br/>real... you say no... then shoot them in the back.". I grinned, the general had surprised me with this display of humour.<br/><br/>"But if a lady asks if it's real, I tell th' truth.", countered Skyler, whose mouth appears to know no sense of fear. Miss Jaggernov started giggling. "I may be an Urchin but I know me Manners."<br/><br/>Ashiko Kuroe chuckled holding out his hand "Ah...and so you do... I trust you will hand that over?". Skyler shook his head.<br/><br/>"I trust I will not.".<br/><br/>The general watched the boy as Miss Jaggernov smiled at Mr Kuroe appealing to his pride, "It would be a shame to so ruin such a well composed outfit. I daresay you'd look far less dashing without your <br/>weapons. So do let him keep it.", Skyler nodded.<br/><br/>"An Urchin without a gun would be like a Pirate without a ship. It jus' wouldn' be right.". To my complete surprise the General seemed to accept this. I could not understand how this had passed the <br/>way it had. why had Kuroe accepted a public affront to his authority?<br/><br/>Mercifully, Miss Jaggernov changed the subject. "What newspaper did you say you worked for, may I ask?" "The Primgraph I replied, smiling. "I thought so... How marvellous!" "I am their newly appointed <br/>correspondent to New Babbage" "Nice ta meet ya miss.", piped in Skyler, doffing his cap to me. "Ah... You do mean Obolenskidonia...", said the General sternly, watching me closely. "oh yes sorry of <br/>course...", I stammered, anoyed at my slip, but equally certain that I'd make the same mistake again. "My mistake, I have lived here since it was a tiny city state. Old habits die hard."<br/><br/>Skyler Gant smirked. "Still New Babbage ta me. Since... I can't for th' life o' me pronounce th' other." "Mr Kuroe, do we still have freedom of press?", asked Miss Jaggernov and I glanced nervously to <br/>the General, once again wiondering whose side Miss Jaggernov was on, perhaps she did not trust me either, that would be a fair position.<br/><br/>"Why yes... Admiral Lupindo is free to press as many citizens as he wants.", chortled the general, laughjing aat his own joke. Miss Jaggernov giggled.<br/><br/>"Not people juice, silly! Do we still have freedom of press in Babbage? As in, publications?" "Publications... well not my sort to be honest... I suppose so..", replied the General, a little uncertain <br/>as to what he was opening himself up to.<br/><br/>"I am glad to hear it sir. How better to get your message to the people, your loyal subjects". I bit my lip, suppressing the shudder that passed through me as I said those words.<br/><br/>"They aren't my subjects Mademoiselle Beq... They are Obolensky's"<br/><br/>"Spread th' message on Toilet Tissue an' use it ta wipe your bum. Tha' would be a better use ta spread th'O's message.", smirked the urchin. I sighed, this lad was asking for trouble that was clear. I <br/>watched the general cautiously again as he momentarily lost his composure before gasping and straightening his cravate and stooping to the level of the childs humour.<br/><br/>"Ah... I wouldn't expect you to know of such things considering your scent", he retorted. Skyler Gant smirked again, enjoying his sparring match.<br/><br/>"Sure th' scent isn' comin' from you? After all... must be hard ta wash your fur after...doin' th'deed." I winced at the jibe. "General, I am sure this lad means nothing by his remarks, he is of no <br/>concern to you. Or The Doctor Overlord", I wanted to kick the young lad in the shins make it clear he was out of line. I had to resort to a frown and pursed lips, a voiceless "shhhhh". I stared at <br/>Skyler trying to catch his gaze, "Master Skyler, the general is a powerful man, you should take care not to upset him."<br/><br/>"Honestly mademoiselle... I have more important issues at hand than a mouthy child...", and with that the General seemed to dismiss the entire incident. It was clear now however that the young lad was <br/>perhaps my way to find a trusted friend, anyone who might know me in the resistance.<br/><br/>"Skyler do you attend school at all?", I asked. Skyler Gant shook his head. "No miss." "have youlearned your letters at all?", I added, hoping that he would be ablte to read a little. "The Doctor <br/>could implement an education program!", laughed Miss Jaggernov laughed. I frowned at the thought of what this would entail. "Why the frown? Marvellous as it'd be, I doubt the Doctor is planning <br/>enrichment and nurturing any time soon..." "frown? did I frown? oh my, just the sun reflecting from the ocean. I am sure the the Doctor would put a fine program of education in place", I replied, not <br/>hiding my disdain. I feigned making note of the forthcoming interview, scribbliung in my notepad before surreptitiously tearing out a small note. Skyler shook his head in reply to my eralier question. <br/>"Jus' a few from th'books people toss out." "Oliver Twist is not an easy book, dear.", added Miss Jaggernov, "I was quite impressed" "indeed so", I replied, incredulous. Skyler nodded. "But it is me <br/>all time fav book, miss. It's how I took me Nickname, Artful Dodger. I...share a bit o'similarities to th' Character with tha' name in th' book."<br/><br/>I stooped down, my back to the general and pretending to straighten Skyler's jacket slipped a note inside. As I stood, I held a finger to my lips, hoping that the lad at least knew enough to hold his <br/>tongue.<br/><br/>"Pleased to meet you all. General I will return shortly". I noticed Skyler pocket the note quietly and smiled. Perhaps I can meet you in one of our bars, assuming we do not have prohibition here yet. <br/>"Prohibition? You can imagine the pirates being refused drink?" "Oh dear heavens no... merely a recall on all wines made over 20 years ago..." I smiled at the thought of the general and the doctor <br/>standing over a collection of confiscated fine vintage wines. "Then perhaps the Absinthe bar by the canals at 20 to three?" The general nodded and checked his watch "I suppose so...". He paused then <br/>tapping his forehead as if he had overlooked something. "Actually... I am afraid that an hour later than that would be better if able." "There was a Jar of cookies placed in front of city hall for my <br/>breakfast and I have yet to retreive it.<br/><br/>"A quarter past three then perhaps?" "that's acceptable...", nodded the general "wonderful, I will see you then."<br/><br/>I wandered off, heading down towards the ocean tunnel lift but soon became aware of foot steps on the cobbles behind me, keeping pace, but staying back. I paused outside Miss Frye's workshop and <br/>walked out onto the new promenade there and stood staring out to sea, waiting for my pursuer to pass. The foosteps rapping against the stone cobbles halted and changed as their owner walked onto to <br/>the wooden promenade. I tensed.<br/><br/>"Miss Janus was it?", a mans voice. I turned slowly. "Yes, sir. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I do not believe we have been introduced." "Ah, I apologize. I am Lans Starsider.", the <br/>stranger, Mr Starsider, bowed slightly<br/><br/>Shots rang out fromthe back streets of the port and a cry of "DEATH TO THE OPPRESSORS!"<br/><br/>Mr Starsider looked about. "I do believe that was gun fire", I muttered, stating the obvious. "Quite..." "Mr Starsider, pleased to meet you" "And you as well." "So, I overheard that you're a <br/>reporter?", I nodded in affirmation "Tell me, what is your take on the recent occupation?"<br/><br/>I looked nervously about. "I...I am a long term resident of this City sir. I have been away for a time about a month or so. I am somewhat taken aback by the changes if I may be frank" Lans Starsider <br/>sighed. "Look I'm not working for the "Truth" ministry or anyone like that, so please feel free to be honest."<br/><br/>"but then someone form such a ministry would say that wouldn't they? I am sorry sir, I do not wish to be obtuse trust is not easily earned. The general and I have met before. I have thwarted his plans <br/>twice in the past."<br/><br/>The newcomer rolled his eye, "Yes I suppose, but with that sort of logic how the bloody heck to you expect me to prove it?"<br/><br/>"...Obolensky is a pompous ass. Satisfied?". I smiled and sighed, deciding to trust the man, they occupiers already had more than enough reason to detain me for my past involvement, they could hardly <br/>need prof of my loyalty to Babbage. "Let's sit". I indicated to the benches and we sat, watching the sea.<br/><br/><a href='http://www.flickr.com/photos/8504043@N05/3661470936'><img src='http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2435/3661470936_543f333875.jpg'/></a><br/><br/>"I have no love of these fiends sir, Babbage has been my home since I arrived here, some 2 months after its founding. I have property and friends here. I would not have it overrun by buffoons <br/>masquerading as oppressors."<br/><br/>"I see. I must confess I am somewhat of a newcommer here myself. I've been trying to feel out the exact situation here.", he then grinned. "And yes, the doctor's henchmen aren't all that wise, are <br/>they?"<br/><br/>"no, but it seems that they have the upper hand at present my reporting must remain fair and above board but I intend to assist the resistance, if they indeed exist. I have not yet seen a number of my <br/>friends, I am worried for them. I hope they have gone to ground."<br/><br/>"I would say there is evidence. I recently heard news of some sort of strike against the doctor's forces. Though I would hope that that pistol weilding man we heard earlier is not among them. While <br/>gallent, I'm afraid his tactics will get him killed."<br/><br/>"Yes,", I nodded, " and the young lad, Skyler. That tongue of his....." "Yes. Quite the fire in that one isn't there?", chuckled Mr Starsider.<br/><br/>"One hopes it can be channelled appropriately, the general seems too arrogant to be concerned with the urchins, but in our past they have always proven to be a stubborn and resilient force."<br/><br/>"Well, at least he chose the target of his heckling wisely, if only by chance. I'm afraid several of Obolensky's other minions might not have been so indulgent."<br/><br/>"es, the feline in particular needs to be watched and treated with caution", I leant forward and whispered "Zebratski, if I recall correctly" Lans Starsider nodded, "Yes I've encountered him before as <br/>well. He seems to be the most competant of those I have met so far."<br/><br/>"A vile character, but, yes, quite effective. May I ask sir, what is your part in this. What brought you here in these troubled times?<br/><br/>"Well...to be honest I'm investigating some rumors about the doctor himself. I currently believe them to be false, but I need to be sure. I actually came here as part of my explorations though. Simple <br/>bad timing on my part it seems. I smiled grimly, "yes, indeed. May I ask as to the nature of the rumours?<br/><br/>"Hmm...yes, I suppose. A few rumors have suggested that some of the sources of the doctor's technology may have been gathered via...temporal means. As I said, I currently believe this is false, and <br/>that he is simply a brilliant, if twisted, man."<br/><br/>I nodded thoughtfully. "but...", I began, "I fear they may have some foundation in truth. There was an exhibtion, some months ago now, it took place in the library here in Babbage. One exhibit, was a <br/>time machine, of course none of us believed it to be real." "Ah yes...I've seen those 'time machines.'", Mr Starsider, chuckled to himself, finding something amusing in that statement. "But still, you <br/>believe Obolensky may have one of these machines?"<br/><br/>"Part way through the opening ceremony, a group of henchmen accompanied the doctor and using some form of key, managed to steal the exhibit. It vanished sir. Into thin air. I myself checked the very <br/>solidity of the walls and floors there was no other way out."<br/><br/>"Yes...it appears quite clear that further investigations were warranted. Still, very interesting Ms Janus...and possibly most helpful. I'll have to do some research of my own into it. May I <br/>accompany you? I'm quite interested in listening to what the General might have to say."<br/><br/>"I am meeting the general in the absinthe bar by the old theatre"<br/><br/>"In the canal district, yes?"<br/><br/>"yes indeed. I would rather interview him alone, but I cannot prevent you from getting drunk in a stall nearby now can I?"<br/><br/>"No, that would be quite out of your control.", Mr Starsider grinned.<br/><br/>"I must depart I have some notes to make before he arrives"<br/><br/>"Good luck, miss."<br/><br/>"It was a pleasure meeting you sir. I am sorry for my rather frosty greeting."<br/><br/>"Understandable given the circumstances."<br/><br/>Since these events it has become apparent that the General was not as forgiving as it seemed, and though I have yet to confirm the facts, it is apparent that Skyler was kidnapped shortly after my meeting, and I believe it was this that delayed the general's arrival for my interview as recorded in the published article in the <a href='http://primgraph.blogspot.com' target='_blank'>primgraph</a><br/><br/><br/></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-31131658323129018912009-06-22T23:50:00.001+01:002009-06-22T23:50:04.691+01:00Return to Babbage<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>It has been many weeks since I have walked the streets of my home. Many projects have kept me away overseas and so it was with a glad heart that I recently received a telegram from Ms Widdershins at the Primgraph. I became acquainted with Miss Widdershins through my good friends Miss Ceejay Writer and Miss Viv Trafalgar, and was thrilled to have my work featured in her periodical, the <a href='http://www.primgraph.com/' target='_blank'>Primgraph</a>. I offered my services for menial tasks, something to fill those twilight hours when away from my friends. The telegram, however, surpassed that expectation. Miss Widdershins asked me to report on the events in Babbage. "Events?", whatever was she speaking of. Did the balls and competitions of my fair city warrant the engagement of a press corresponent? It was the same morning, that I first received word from home, word that gave more meaning, and gravity to the situation. Things in Babbage were not as they should be.<br/><br/>And so, today I have returned. The sea is busy but my trusty sub was not troubled by such craft and I returned in the early afternoon to Aegir's hall. I shall recount in more detail later. For I must now head to Loki's bar, where I am to meet wit the proclaimed general of the air corps Ashiko Kuroe. <br/><br/></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-29304608482998764702009-06-12T19:14:00.001+01:002009-06-12T19:16:16.594+01:00living under a shadow<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><span style="font-family:monospace;">Note affixed to the outside of an envelope which itself is stuck to a diary page, the pages prior to this page have been forcefully removed,only the ragged edges remain prior to an entry titled “Facing Orchid”</span><br /><br />Herein I collect the shredded remains of my diary, pages lost not to flood, fire or mishap, nor through the malicious intent of another but through the destructive rage of the final stages of my descent, as the meticulous human recording her ordeal became an angry beast seeking nothing but to sate its desires. Some weeks had passed since the last remaining whole entry, and the desperation recorded in that entry had only increased, the continued meticulous recording that had maintained my connection to my former life had became ever more difficult, those few snatched moments, typically after feeding when Nareth would retire<br /><br />and leave me unwatched, my own beast tempered and easily mastered, became ever rarer until the fateful day when I all but destroyed this record, the day that marked my departure from humanity mere days before my release, my redemption.<br /><br />So strange the words that flow from your mind to the paper, “release”,“redemption”, they have sense of finality, the closure of a chapter, they suggest escape; yet can I even now say that it is over? How could I? How could anyone after so much deceit and distrust, layer upon layer of lies? Is it really over or have I simply peeled back one layer of lies to reveal a fresh layer beneath? I sit alone at night weeping, wondering when it will return, when this illusion of safety, of humanity, will once again dissolve into the bestial terror to visit disaster upon unsuspecting friends.<br /><br />I have decided to seek help, final proof that there are no further layers, that I am released or perhaps the final acknowledgement that I am still tainted, a lurking threat, waiting for her to spring the trap. If no proof can be found then my course is clear and I am quite at peace with what I must do. It is no more and no less than I had previously known, was it not my naive commitment to self sacrifice, my life to save many, that brought me to this point? Babbage was saved, in that we were sucessful and history will record that Nareth Nishi (professor) was once again the hero who saved the City from certain doom, for my part perhaps a small footnote, that an unknown lady of babbage was cared for after fainting at the scene. I should have died then. That faint, my collapse as I gave up my own energy, my life to perpetuate Nareth's, to allow her to overcome Moriarty, it should have killed me, I do so wish it had been so, as it had been prophesied. Therein we see the nature of lies, how truth is mixed with untruth and presented to mislead, the terms of the bargain were that my life could be forfeit and I had taken that to mean death an end yet in truth it was but the start, my life was forfeit and became the property of the demon that had in its times before consumed many others, not least of whom was Nareth, my Nareth, Babbage's Nareth.<br /><br />This maudlin mood progresses nothing, I should be plain. Nareth no more sought to save Babbage than to simply remove the competition. Mankind were hers, and no one was going to stand in her way. Yet the time was wrong, the intervention was needed but the time for the next stage has not yet come upon us. She has gone, left this town and will return when time demands it. So now I live with a shadow of fear. I fear she has not truly released me, but has left me dormant, hidden from the world, her weapon waiting patiently unheard of and unsuspected. I must disarm this weapon, I was once before ready to die to remove a threat from Babbage only to become the weapon of its doom. I will seek some final help but I am resolved in this matter. When modern science fails to convince me that I am clear of this shadow, that she is no longer in me, and in truth however can it succeed? So, if it fails, when it fails, only one path remains, the irrevocable, final and absolute removal of the threat, the weapon, known as Beq Janus.<br /><br /></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-40875874783147314152009-02-25T00:07:00.005+00:002009-02-27T01:07:48.564+00:00Is there really no one left to hold onto?I left the laboratory angry and confused, she was right, as I had lain there dying, beyond a brief visit by Orchid, my friends had abandoned me. They had known what was happening to me, that my best chance was for Nareth to be slain before I ... before I succumbed. Perhaps Rip saw it as easier if I was gone or left as something bestial and repulsive. Yes that would keep his pretty wife safe from temptation, I would be that vile creature that had taken poor sweet Beq away, my trespasses forgiven as the early acts of the beast that had ultimately led to my extinction. I slammed the iron door shut behind me the frame shaking with the force and sending a small cascade of loose mortar on its way to the ground. I stormed out of the front yard into the street and automatically turned down toward the Palisade. Nareth was right, I would have this out, Nareth had lied to me before, but this time? Well it all made sense now didn't it? But something inside was already turning the anger into emotional confusion and as I stormed across the cobbles of the rail yard the rage settled to a brooding anger, I was caught in between two factions, where was "I" in this? what had happened to Beq Janus? At what point did I give up all responsibility for my own welfare? I punched a brick pier as I left the yard, and sucking at the bloody knuckles turned down towards muses cottage.<br /><br />As I passed through the gate my heart fluttered, I realised that I was nervous, actually scared. I feared the truth, if that was what it was. I sat on the step watching the broken skin of my knuckles reform, summoning the courage to face them again. With a deep breath, I stood and knocked at the door.<br /><br />Orchid's voice called from inside. "Who is it?"<br /><br />"Orchid! Its me.", I replied, "Beq".<br /><br />The door swung opem and she stood before me, radiant, smiling, "Beq... how, well, are you doing alright?", she looked at me nervously, not sure quite how to speak to me.<br /><br />I smiled back,"Its good to see you" I replied, not answering the question<br /><br />"Come in, come in.. it's chilly out there.", she stepped back, motioning a welcome with her hands, a pressure that I had not noticed but that I guessed later to be holding me from entering, fell away at her words. Another part of vampire lore demonstrably proven.<br /><br />"thank you", I stepped across the theshold and into the cottage. "are you well?", I looked around the room, listening. "No Rip?"<br /><br />"No, no, he is not here. I'm alright, but, I'll admit I've spent much of the night worrying about you."<br /><br />"really? worrying? That is touching.", I winced slightly at the spiteful cynicism in my own voice. Orchid raised an eyebrow, a touch of confusion on her face. "I have missed you these passed few days."<br /><br />"I-all I wanted to do was help you, but, what was I to do?"<br /><br />"help me? yes.", I nodded, a grim sincerity on my face. "Did you have any plans?"<br /><br />Orchid shook her head slightly, "Plans? You mean... now?"<br /><br />I walked over and sat down, the house was beautiful, new furniture set off the room, giving it a homely feel. "A new sofa? very nice", they had been busy clearly, the house was looking lovely.<br /><br />"Thank you, Rip chose that.", Orchid looked at me smiling weakly. I returned to the questions, looking darkly at Orchid,<br /><br />"Now?, then? anything? I was helpless Orchid. At her mercy. If you could have saved me you would have wouldn't you? Rip would have done something, come up with some scheme to rescue me."<br /><br />"Of course I would have, Beq! We tried and tried to think of something, but had no idea what would work to help you...".<br /><br />I sighed, stroking the sofa, frowning. I looked up to see Orchid's sombre look as she watched me, reading my thoughts.<br /><br />Orchid swallowed, and whispering said, "You... you don' think we tried, do you?", her eyes filled with sorrow and regret.<br /><br />"I don't know Orchid, I just don't know any more. I was sure, certain that you were out there looking for a way".<br /><br />"I still am Beq..."<br /><br />"...that you had looked but perhaps not found anything", I paused, "still are ..." I repeated, smiling briefly at her, drawing out the smallest of smiles in return.<br /><br />"She told me Orchid"<br /><br />"Told you what, Beq?"<br /><br />"Told me that she offered to save me if you would spend a night with her, just as you had said. I would never have wanted you to accept such a deal but she also told you, told Rip, how to destroy her. Decapitation. Stake through the heart"<br /><br />Orchid shook her head sighing. "First off, her offer to me... she laughed as soon as I gave her my answer. She had never meant it, she wanted to destroy the hope I had.", I watched the emotions on her face, the guilt she felt was evident, but her hgaze never wavered, she was not lying. "And, Beq, how am I to know that destroying her will save you? Does the binding not mean if one of you dies, the other will as well? I know of the amulet... but this will not keep you from turning, will it? If she is gone, I mean? It doesn't seem to be a viable solution, Beq... there are so many questions unanswered. I couldn't bear try something that further hurts you.", they had thought it through, though clearly they knew little of the cycle. At my death I had become the undead, I had Turned, the was no more. Yes I was not dead. My mind raced, was that the issue? I was neither vampire nor human now.<br /><br />"turning....", I whispered, nodding. "Did she tell you? Did she imply that her death might save me?"<br /><br />Orchis was emphatic at this, shaking her head resolutely, "She only told us how to destroy her, and that killing her would kill you as well."<br /><br />My rage boiled up again. I was being cast from pillar to post. "argghhh!", I shouted, slamming my fist into the arm of the chesterfield making Orchid shudder and jump. "She lies", I spat through gritted teeth.<br /><br />"To which of us, Beq?"<br /><br />"I do not know, she told me that she had told you how to kill me, how to save me but", I shook my head, unable to think clearly. "When I asked her if you had been told that her death would free me, she said that it was clearly logical."<br /><br />Orchid's eyes went wide at this she balled her own fists in angerillan goes wide-eyed, balling her hands in fists.<br /><br />"So, the binding... her death would not mean yours as well? Are you certain she was not lying on that account?"<br /><br />I stopped, in my mind I felt Nareth stirring. "She awakes"<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />Mistress...</span><br /><br />In my mind I could see Nareth moving quickly, before long she was rising into the air.<br /><br />"I do not know her lies from each other now." I threw my head back, looking to the sky, "Nareth! You anger me.". Orchid looked up quickly, watching intently, "...flying...", I muttered, answering the implicit question. Orchid whispered, as though she wished not for Nareth to hear her, "flying? "<br /><br />"No matter"., I dismissed it, shaking my head. "She is playing with me trying to sever my connection with you, break my will"<br /><br />"Don't let her win, Beq... she's done nothing but trick you, play with your mind."<br /><br />"Beq, I promise you... we have more ideas now than we did before. We are never giving up on you."<br /><br />"But she is my mind now, I am hers. I need to believe in you Orchid, but if my faith in you fails....please, please don't prove her right.", Orchid nodded at my warning, fear clearly on her face.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Mistress...was this wise?</span> - Nareth's voice insinuated into my mind again.<br /><br />"Wise! WISE!", I screamed into the air. Orchid stared at me unsure as to what to do. I dropped my head into my hands, massaging my forehead and temples in frustration, breathing heavily with frustration.<br /><br />"Beq, are you alright?", asked Orchid, leaning towards me, I shot a dark look back, biting back a pointed answer, forcing a thin smile in its place.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You told me as much Nareth. 'ask them', you said</span><br /><br />I saw Nareth land upon the snow covered cobbles...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Very well. So I did.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You twist my mind Nareths</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I stand by what I have said, Mistress. Has she denied it?</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />more than that. You told her that your death would bring mine</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">And you know that she is not lying, because...you trust her. Circularity.</span><br /><br />I had my doubts now, this much was clear. I small laugh echoed in my mind as Nareth sensed this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">of course I trust</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You trust...because you trust.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />because I know her.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Do you? Does she know you, even?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />She is my best friend Nareth. Was..</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />So much assumption.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />so much deceit</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Indeed.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />not hers, don't twist</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />I am not twisting.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">They were told, Mistress. I can recall the memories verbatim, if you wish it.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />and out of context no doubt</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br /><br />No.</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> I offered them the opportunity. Admittedly, at great personal risk.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />How generous.</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> How selfless</span><br /><br />There was a soft knocking at the door.<br /><br />Orchid looked up quickly, and jumping out of her seat headed to the door probably expecting Rip<br /><br />"Let me.. get that.". She opened the door to find Nareth standing there. Nareth smiled. "Hello Nareth..."<br /><br />"Miss McMillan."<br /><br />"You're looking well."<br /><br />"Sorry that I have not visited sooner."<br /><br />"It's quite alright."<br /><br />"Well..."<br /><br />"Beq and I were just chatting, I suppose you'd care to join us?", Orchid stepped back inviting Nareth into the house,<br /><br />"Thank you...", a wry grin spread across Nareth's face. She looked about the room, "Such a beautiful home. Good evening, Beq.". Orchid returned back to her seat and turned to watch Nareth. "Shall I sit, perhaps?"<br /><br />I remained as I was, glaring at Nareth<br /><br />"If you wish.", responded Orchid, with little attempt to hide her dislike of Nareth.<br /><br />"You are too gracious a host, Miss McMillan.", Nareth turned and smiled at each of us in turn, "Am I interrupting?"<br /><br />"Of course", I sneered.<br /><br />"I should hope I am not.", Nareth sat upon the sofa one arm resting on the cushioned arm.<br /><br />"Nareth, as you well know, I was just discussing the matter of friendship with Orchid"<br /><br />"Indeed. A very dear friendship."<br /><br />Orchid'd eyes narrowed. "A true friendship.".<br /><br />"True....There is so much talk of truth, of late.", Nareth's lips curled slighlty as she spoke.<br /><br />"Yes, it seems so, Nareth.", nodded Orchid.<br /><br />"....How as I lay dying, temptation and chance was laid before them...", I continued<br /><br />"Precisely, Mistress. Tempatation..and chance. A shame they were not more..bold. But...this is not for me to judge."<br /><br />"...but I am unclear on the facts, the minor nuances of logic and emotion that are so apt to be twisted and misrepresented.", I fixed my gaze upon Nareth as I spoke, looking only briefly to Orchid. Nareth and Orchid stared at one another across the room. Nareth intense but calm, Orchid enraged, grinding her teeth.<br /><br />"Mistress, may I speak freely?"<br /><br />"I have come to realise that nothing is truly free with you Nareth. Please, do continue."<br /><br />"Have you denied, Miss McMillan, the offer that I made to you? One night with me for Miss Janus' freedom?", Orchid winced slightly at the reminder. "It was a simple offer. I was clear, there would be agony and pleasure.."<br /><br />"I told Beq of it already. I hid nothing from her."<br /><br />"I hid nothing also."<br /><br />"Though, had you forgotten to mention to her your laughter at me after my response? That it was not possible to begin with?"<br /><br />I shot an angry stare at Nareth.<br /><br />"But...Miss McMillan...you did not know that when you said no. In fact, you still do not know it. So little is truly known."<br /><br />Orchid nodded, "And I did not trust you from the start."<br /><br />"Be that as it may...You declined an opportunity. No action was made to attempt to save your friend."<br /><br />"Aye, I did, I will not deny it. I wrestle with the guilt of not accepting."<br /><br />"None...Not even at the very end."<br /><br />I shifted my weight from one leg to the other, fidgetting uncertainly. If roles had been reversed, would I have acted differently? I knew in my heart that I would. Was it not such a sacrifice that had brought us to that state? Yet it was easier for I, I who has no one, than for her, her life with Rip laid out before her; to weigh the worth of my own life against the happiness of her own was a terrible dilemma, but at the very least I would have fought the conditions, called her bluff, made her demonstrate that I could be released, tested the verascity of the offer. Though I would not on good conscience ask that she had accepted the offer, and she had made her choice of her own free will, I would not have it otherwise, though it trully tore my heart apart then to have my true worth evaluated so coldly before my eyes.<br /><br />"Do you think I would not have tried, had I thought I had a chance of saving her?"<br /><br />"Why *does* Mr. Wirefly carry that sword?", Nareth continued the attack, feeling my distress.<br /><br />I looked searchingly at Orchid, looking in her eyes for a sign that would show me that Nareth was wrong.<br /><br />"I think you are a coward, Orchid. Beq saved you.". Orchid averted her gaze, staring up at the ceiling, biting her tongue. "You did not even try to exchange the favour. The mere attempt...Failure is irrelvant.<br /><br />I dropped my head back into my hands, staring down at my feet.<br /><br />"It is an ugly, unsightly truth. But...I am accustomed to ugliness."<br /><br />Orchid McMillan turned back, staring straight at Nareth. "If anything, my guilt over not saving her so far has only hardened my resolve to make something work. If you think I've given up, think again."<br /><br />"Oh...?", Nareth smiled, watching me as I shook my head, my despair giving way to anger as I was passed back and forth as some minor prize, some precious bauble to be fought over. I had brought myself to this, was it any surprise now to find myself alone. My thoughts turned to others, where now was Jed? Steadfast, straight talking Jed? Had she even noticed I had gone? She was busy...out of town a lot. I sighed.<br /><br />"But why now, when all is lost? She is no longer even human."<br /><br />"Have you ever known us to give up hope? To think all is truly lost? There is always a chance."<br /><br />"I do not know you, Miss McMillan. This I will admit. I report what I have seen thus far."<br /><br />"Each time we speak you attempt to break my resolve.", Orchid looked furtively at me, as I met her gaze.<br /><br />"Do I? I was not aware. That is, I was not aware you possesed resolve."<br /><br />I stood up angrily, this had to end, my mind roiled and twisted, my stomach yearned, "no! no! enough! I should never have come here. This toying, this game.", Nareth did not look at me but remained seated staring at Orchid, who closed her eyes, and slowly inhaled, seeking some calm.<br /><br />"As you wish, Mistress. Though, I had hoped to relate to Miss McMillan our recent exploits...and your pleasure.". Orchid glanced back and forth between myself and Nareth.<br /><br />"Nareth, this game is fun for you, just such fun", I waved a hand dismissing Nareth's attempt to undermine us further.<br /><br />"No...Mistress. No *fun*. Joy."<br /><br />Orchid looked back at me, whispering, "Don't give up Beq, please..."<br /><br />"Mistress, even now, I see your hunger for her."<br /><br />"Orchid, I am changed"<br /><br />"You are starving.", interjected Nareth.<br /><br />I sighed, shifting position slightly, leaning forward, "she is right". Orchid stared down at the floor. I hoped that perhaps she was beginning to understand the predicament.<br /><br />"You could make it fast...Painless."<br /><br />"No!", I leant towards Nareth, my fists clenched<br /><br />"Why?"<br /><br />"No! Nareth"<br /><br />"She did not save you? She did not even try."<br /><br />I stood up, pacing up and down, unconsciously licking my lips as images of lust, supported by a base, animal, instinctive desire to consume, to satiate my appetite, formed unbidden in my mind.<br /><br />"The thrill of feeding, and to feed on such...."<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />to feed on such...tendernesss<br /><br /></span>"Beq... don't let her do this to you!", Orchid's voice called me back, driving down the stirring in my stomach.<br /><br />"Or, she could join us.", added Nareth, leering, watching my every move, knowing my mind. I stopped pacing and stared at Orchid. "Lina would find her a delight.".<br /><br />"Lina! never", I turned angrily, snarling at my tormentor. "Nareth, leave this place".<br /><br />"Oh, but you so enjoy Lina.", Nareth paused for a minute, then recognising the command in my voice, acquiesced to my order. "Yes...Mistress. As you wish."<br /><br />I remained standing, staring now at Orchid, fighting still the burning desires within me. Smelling her fear, riding on the rich sweet scent that betrayed her femininity and a faint note of exhillaration, a hint of excitement at the encounter, these subtle hints invisible to the "evolved" human that betrayed her own true feelings. Of course, Nareth, could sense these, and my own, even without her link into my mind she would know what I felt before I knew it.<br /><br />"I'm sure you can find the door.", Orchid spat.<br /><br />"Good evening, Miss McMillan. Do give my regards to your fiance"<br /><br />Orchid watched the door and waited for it to shut, then looked up at me. I dropped into the seat, but immediately knew I could not stay. Through Nareth's eyes I saw the front of the house, she was waiting, watching to see if I lost the battle, if I would bend to her will and take Orchid as my own.<br /><br />"Orchid, I must leave, she is right.", Orchid sat nervously, unable to look straight at me. "I am changed, there is a hunger that tears at me"<br /><br />"Do you believe me Beq? Do you still trust me?"<br /><br />I nodded though in truth, I could not say, I simply did not want to accept the apparent facts as the truth. Orchid smiled slightly.<br /><br />"Please. I am losing this fight", I pleaded with her, the rich scent of her body filling me with the shared hungers for food and pleasure.<br /><br />"Soon, I promise. We are trying.", she called as I jumped up and ran to the door, fleeing from the house and into the garden.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Consider, Mistress... She invited me in. She just destroyed a sanctuary. Soon, there will be no place left for them to hide.</span><br /><br />I saw the blur of brickwork and roofline soon replaced by hte mottled gray blue hues of the sky as Nareth took to the air again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">No place to hide at all.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You cannot touch her, you will not!</span> - The thoughts shouted, but clouded with my own desire, as I spoke more to myself than to Nareth. I would not harm Orchid, not knowingly, not willingly. I ran from the house as fast as I could. The hunger overwhelming, I had to feed and I had to get away from Orchid ....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">No, I will not</span> - her reply echoed back to me, a knowing, mockery in her tone. <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">But what about you, Mistress? She invited *you* in. You are not bound. Poor Orchid...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">but before you get that wish Nareth, you have to defeat me completely</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Do not delude yourself, Mistress. It is unseeemly.</span><br /><br />I got to the railway yard and dropping to my knees crawled around until I caught a rat. I dashed its brains against the cobblestones until it bled.<br /><br />"A rat, Mistress?", Nareth dropped to the ground by my side and stood looking down at me, disgust and amusement mixed in her frown. "Filthy beasts"...<br /><br />"but warm", I replied, raising the mangled rodent toward my mouth<br /><br />Nareth held out her wrist, a sweeter smile, tinged with pity fixed upon her lips. "Not as warm...", she said, grinning briefly, I looked up meeting her gaze, then glancing down threw the rat into the snow immediatley hating my own weakness, my dependency. Nareth tore open her wrist with her sharp finger nails. "No one us watching.", she said as I took the wrist in her mouth, and collapsed to my knees again on the snowy ground. Slurping hungrily, sucking hard. Nareth looked down her nose at me.<br /><br />"pitiable, poor Mistress.", she waited a moment before continuing, "I have another question, Mistress.". I looked up, still sucking at the wound, ", Nareth closed her eyes feeling the blood leave her body. "Why has *no one* called my bluff? If bluff it be."<br /><br />"They do not trust you, they are not all as naive as me". Nareth looked away toward the laboratory, following her gaze I could see figure, a woman entering the laboratory..<br /><br />"Oh, I think it may be more complicated. After all, this is an age of reason. Vampires? Indeed. Now, stand up and wipe your mouth. You look terrible.". Nareth pulled her wrist away. "We need to go inside...", I wiped my mouth on my fingers and then sucked them clean."You are not...well."Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-2622213799196703792009-02-05T21:54:00.006+00:002009-02-05T22:21:16.137+00:00Suspicion and doubtThe preceding night had been odd in a number of ways. To hav e died and been reborn, one would think a monumental point, uplifting, inspiring even and yet as an event which stood as a conclusion to the protracted period of fear, disillusion and pain, was somewhat of an anti-climax, the agonising return of circulation leading quickly into a hasy departure, sneaking away in fear.<br /><br />I felt in myself no different, perhaps in many ways I felt better than I ever had, my whole person near glowing with the warmth of my renewed heart and of course it is in this that the problem lies. I felt sure that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nareth</span> was both intrigued and threatened by me. She clearly did not understand what I had become and the multiple aspects of her being, those things she denies the existence of, were fighting. It worried me, it worries me still to this day, the mere fact that I retain some degree of free will, some fight, is evidence enough to her and this means I am not to be trusted. Yet in those first days I was stronger, the beast had been cowed and I had control for most of my waking hours.<br /><br />That next day, I woke early my new body not needing an extensive sleep, I fretted and frowned thinking long on the events of the preceding night, the frenzied, lust filled feeding, this is as we are, this is our way, the way of this this thing that I am become and yet <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Nareth</span> had not seemed herself, and neither had she, sadly, seemed to be the professor. At times she had a younger, innocence about her, something that the professor could never have been said to have had and then there was the other voice, a man's voice. What was it he had said? "You are something that must go before the coming of our lady", he/she/it feared me and I must fear him.<br /><br />I had to get out of the building and resolved to take a walk in the late afternoon. It was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">wintery</span> outside, but distracted and warmed by my own body's heat I stepped out without a coat.<br /><br />I walked out by the stockyards and past the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">steamworks</span>, whose powerful pumps drive the city's steam main. Onward down toward the canals. I stood upon the bridge their watching the waters flow by before <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">the</span> chill set in and I sought warmth. A walked back toward the lab and spied the soft light of the bakery in the late afternoon gloom. A cup of tea, what a delightful luxury, I did not even know if I could tolerate it now but I was committed then to finding out.<br /><br />The little brass bell rang as I entered, the warmth of the ovens swelling out into the street as soon as the door opened, carrying with it the smells of cinnamon and cake, of fresh bread and pies. These scents though every bit as sweet and welcoming as ever, failed to fire any hunger as they would ever have done in the past. Instead, more subtle notes, meat hanging or laying on a slab, putrefying in the bins, a mild hunger entered me.<br /><br />No one was drawn out by the bell, and I collected a cup of tea from the counter, leaving a handful of brass and copper in its place before taking up my favourite seat in the corner by the window.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Myrtil</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Igaly</span>, the young proprietor of the cafe walked in and paused, looking over to me and smiling<br /><br />"Hello Miss Janus!", I looked up at her, the gloom had advanced and I lifted my goggles off blinking away the rush of brightness. When my vision stabilised I saw <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Myrtil</span> looking at me seemingly a bit confused<br /><br />"Hello <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Myrtil</span>, how nice to see you."<br /><br />The door opened once more and young Jimmy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Branagh</span> came running in.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Hoy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Myrtil</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Hoy</span> Miss <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Beq</span>"<br /><br />Almost without noticing I sniffed the air catching the scent of the two youngsters, dominated by the warmth of young Jimmy following his run. I frowned slightly at the ripple of hunger that was set off at this, a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">churn</span> like that one might feel when presented with the scent of a glorious meal after a day of work.<br /><br />"Hello Jimmy", I returned, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">looking to</span> his smiling face.<br /><br />"You... Aren't you cold Miss Janus?" asked <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Myrtil</span><br /><br />" Whoa, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Oy</span> think it's cold!", blurted Jimmy, keen to be part of the conversation, as is so often the case with the young ones here.<br /><br />"Its a bit nippy out there, but to be quite honest <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Myrtil</span>, I've felt a little stuffy lately and the fresh air is quite <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">invigorating</span>."<br /><br />"Oh.", replied <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Myrtil</span>, seemingly surprised at my reply. "I did feel it best to pop in here for a brief respite though, you always keep this place so warm.", She relaxed a little at this, smiling briefly.<br /><br />"It is because of the oven!", she grinned.<br /><br />"It always smells good in here too!", added Jimmy<br /><br />"But still... I would dress warmer if I were you..", suggested <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Myrtil</span>. There was movement outside in the street, a small crowd of people and I look round sharply fearing the worst to find it was simply the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">occup</span>ants of Mr Holmes house all leaving on a journey.<br /><br />"You are wise beyond your years <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Myrtil</span>, I will be sure to bring a scarf at the very least next time I am taken by a desire to roam.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Myrtil</span> smiled proudly at this, but a cloud seemed to cross her face. Some suggestion of unease.<br /><br />"'<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">tis</span> the kind of wisdom you gain in the streets Miss. In truth, I was worried about you Miss Janus"<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Yeh</span>, Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Dayafter</span> said she was a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">smartie</span>.", Jimmy laughed. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Myrtil</span> turned pulling Jimmy's cap down over his eyes, "Shush you!!"<br /><br />"Worried about me, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Myrtil</span>?"<br /><br />"Something happened at the Tesla Machine." she nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on me.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">ahh</span>, yes, that.",<br /><br />"After Moriarty left and the Van Creed guy told us it was up there above the Port, we left too but I remember seeing you falling, and being taken care of by Miss Breezy and Miss <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Chernov</span>. You didn't look right"<br /><br />"I.. helped the professor nothing more. Though it did knock the wind out of my sails."<br /><br />"You helped the Professor? You looked really weak... Like that time when Moriarty attacked us on the Port too", a real note of concern in her voice, which was rather touching really. "But actually you look really better today."<br /><br />"Yes, she needed me, and they did help me too, I think in fact they may have saved me. I could hear their voices calling me, but it was so cold I just wanted to sleep."<br /><br />"I'm relieved you are fine now.."<br /><br />"This was not Moriarty's doing not this time, it was a ...", I paused, I couldn't explain to her the connection, the deal that we had struck, I chose my words with care. "It was an experiment of the professors to help with the fires that burned around her."<br /><br />Jimmy perked up, at this "Wot sort of experiment?"<br /><br />"Oh! To help Mr Rip?", added <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Myrtil</span>, her mind leaping ahead making connections as she is wont to do. She really is a very sharp witted girl and therein lies the danger.<br /><br />"I don't truly know, she has such a great mind.", I replied, not wishing to dispel any inappropriate connections, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Myrtil</span> nodded seemingly happy with that turn of events.<br /><br />"She tricked Moriarty once more."<br /><br />"The heat and fire that engulfed her and Moriarty, she was burning. Together we joined our minds."<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Myrtil</span> stood her mouth agape "wow.. I didn't know you could do that.."<br /><br />"like I say <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Myrtil</span>, science, truly wondrous", she nodded vigorously. "But as you have observed I am much better now"<br /><br />"Yes...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Myrtil</span> frowned.<br /><br />"No longer cold, in fact quite, quite the opposite." I rubbed my arms, it was true my refreshed body was radiant. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Myrtil</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Igaly</span> glanced at Jimmy, then back to where I sat, still observing watching me.<br /><br />"That's dangerous though to be part of an experiment. Moriarty was part of one"<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Yeh</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">soyence</span> can be very <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">dyngerous</span> too."<br /><br />"And say... he didn't end well.."<br /><br />"I completely agree, but I have always trusted the professor. She has been very good to New <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Babbage</span>, to us all", I said, seeking to reassure them of my intentions but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Myrtil</span> was not ready to accept this, she raised her eyebrows."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Oy</span> don't think Babbage would be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">standin</span>' without 'er, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">meself</span>.", Jimmy agreed.<br /><br />"I trust her too... I thought you didn't, or wasn't sure though. That day you showed us the Van Creed documents, you thought she may be betraying us.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Myrtil</span> recalled the allegation of an interception by the Van Creed, it referred to a partner of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Moriarty</span>, a lover they suggested.<br /><br />I looked around the room, lifting my tea to my lips and sipping thoughtfully.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Myrtil</span> smiled softly, "I'm glad you changed your mind", I returned the smile, relieved that I seemed to be negotiating my way through her suspicions.<br /><br />"Yes, I am always open to change my opinions. I confronted her, asked her straight, it had been a deception. I doubt her no more, but then after the other night, who could?"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Myrtil's</span> face visibly relaxed "Oh, that is the best way. And yes, she saved us again!"<br /><br />The two youngsters chuckled. "She fooled Moriarty twice.", laughed Jimmy.<br /><br />"His Old gods don't make him a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">smartie</span>", giggled <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Myrtil</span>. I made no answer, returning to my tea. "Plus she's got a far more powerful g..". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">Myrtil</span> stopped in mid-sentence, I looked at her lowering my tea, staring at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Myrtil</span>.<br /><br />"In the end he was just a poor child who had been led astray", I added , seeking to divert the conversation b<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">ut</span> Jimmy was already looking <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">quizzically</span> at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">Myrtil</span>.<br /><br />"More powerful WHAT, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">Myrtil</span>?", he challenged.<br /><br />"science", I interjected, "the most powerful god of them all", I smiled at the two.<br /><br />The conversation turned to old friends, Leon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">Susenko</span>, Gloriana <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Maertens</span>, Lucius Sin and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">Misi</span>. In particular <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Mis</span>, as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">Myrtil</span> seemed to have a soft spot for her. I told her that Miss Paine had decided not to return to Babbage just now and was living overseas. This sheered <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Myrtil</span> briefly but something still disturbed her. she looked up at me, forcing a smile.<br /><br />"Would you like a slice of pie?"<br /><br />"No, no I am fine thank you. I'll eat later.", I declined, licking my lips and looking over the two children, the thought of food, stirring a disturbing hunger in my stomach. I looked quickly away. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">Myrtil</span> was observing me cautiously<br /><br />"Do you mind if I leave you alone here? I have something to do outside", she smiled. I glanced out of the window, the sun was sinking fast now.<br /><br />"Not at all. I should get back soon myself"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">Myrtil</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">Igaly</span> smiled and nodded "It was nice to see you are fine".<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">Myrtil</span> caught Jimmy by the arm, "Come on, I wanna show you something.", she pulled him out in to the street.<br /><br />I watched out the window as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Myrtil</span> and Jimmy <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">chattered</span> excitedly, glancing back at me, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">suspiciously</span>.<br /><br />I finished my tea, and placing the cup upon the table, stood to leave.<br /><br />As I walked to the door I saw <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_73">Myrtil</span> glance back and drag Jimmy further back. This unnerved me, she was suspicious and I had brought danger upon us. I ran back to the laboratory where I found <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_74">Nareth</span> just waking.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_75">Nareth</span>, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_76">think</span> I may have made an error of judgement.", I puffed.<br /><br />"An error of judgment?",She laughed, "Do you?". I frowned at her dismissal.<br /><br />"I was in the cafe"<br /><br />"What, precisely, are we discussing, Mistress?"<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_77">Myrtil's</span> cafe"<br /><br />"I see.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_78">Nareth</span>, still had the veil of sleep hanging <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_79">over</span> her and struggling to wake fully she watched me closely.<br /><br />"I went for a walk, and stopped for a drink"<br /><br />"Yes?"<br /><br />"She was there, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_80">Myrtil</span>, and that lad, Jimmy. Well we got to talking about things and she was worried about me, she had seen me fall during Moriarty's attack. I think I indulged her questions too much she is a bright young lady."<br /><br />"Indeed. She was here, two days back, asking after you.",<br /><br />"I think they suspect something, that I am ... different.", I continued, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_81">Nareth</span> didn't respond, but continues to watch in silence. "but she said something too, something about your gods."<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_82">Nareth</span> reached into a pocket and took out her spectacles, setting them on the bridge of her nose.<br /><br />"Does she know about you?"<br /><br />"My gods....Before I faced Moriarty, I came across him in the attic of the theatre. In order to accomplish the ends you desired, I needed him to believe that I was an ally. I said many things. Some of it was true...I did not know that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_83">Myrtil</span> and a number of other children had crept into the shadows and were <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_84">listening</span>.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_85">Nareth</span> stopped and stared down at her fingertips as I sighed. "I have assured <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_86">Myrtil</span> it was a ruse, and she seemed to believe me. However..."<br /><br />"Then I hope I have not undone that work."<br /><br />"If this becomes...a problem...it is easily enough solved, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_87">Mistress</span>.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_88">Nareth</span> glared at me through her spectacles.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_89">Nareth</span>!"<br /><br />"Who would miss them?"<br /><br />"They are not wanted. They are homeless things."<br /><br />"b.but, but you, you cannot truly.."<br /><br />"Why?"<br /><br />"even <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_90">Myrtil</span>?"<br /><br />"They would be sweet..tender...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_91">Nareth</span> smiled softly, masking her true intent, though I have no doubt that she would do it.<br /><br />"They did smell good", I replied, grinning slightly.<br /><br />"Did they?"<br /><br />"It is hard to explain, it sets off a churning feeling"<br /><br />"You are conflicted. You have become one thing, and yet the ghost of you lingers. The ghost of that former you.<br /><br />"In time, this will change.", I remained quiet, her words corresponded to the words of the voice from the previous night, that I must change, be changed. "You will move by instinct, not these illusions of morality. Memories fade..."<br /><br />"Is that so professor?"<br /><br />"That is quite so, Mistress. And I am done playing *that* game with you."<br /><br />I must admit that it gives me solace to bait her, there is undoubtedly something that she is hiding, it may be true that there is no way back for the professor I knew but the reaction my jibes yield are evidence of a deeper conflict within her. I am stark evidence that this "process" is far from perfect, it stands to reason that with each consciousness consumed some remnants are left behind.<br /><br />"She is dead.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_92">Nareth</span> glanced at the floor.<br /><br />"aren't we all?", I asked, then reconsidering, "well with an exception".<br /><br />"No..in fact. To my disappointment.", she looked coldly at me.<br /><br />"So...what, exactly, did you say, Mistress? You appear as ever you have. You breathe. You are warm. You haven't even grown your milk teeth yet."<br /><br />I knit my brows at this. "Yes, I had noticed that".<br /><br />"I am growing impatient Mistress", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_93">Nareth</span> stood up, pacing slightly "This would be easier if you simply told me what did, in fact, occur."<br /><br />"I explained that we had used science to defeat him. That our minds had joined, that I'd helped you. They seemed to accept it. But there were other questions, I don't truly recall them and before I left they went outside, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_94">Myrtil</span> dragged Jimmy with her, like you do when you are making an excuse to talk about someone."<br /><br />"I never mentioned magic, they think it was an experiment".<br /><br />"They are children, Mistress. I shall have Lina watch them, however. She is eager."<br /><br />"Thank you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_95">Nareth</span>, I am sorry."<br /><br />"Somehow, I do doubt that, Mistress."<br /><br />"I should not have gone there."<br /><br />In the silence that followed we both sat staring at one another. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_96">Nareth</span> sat herself down on the floor beside the divan.After a minute or so, I cleared my throat.<br /><br />"The priest last night."<br /><br />"Yes?"<br /><br />"He was conflicted too."<br /><br />"Was he? I did not have time to form any clear impression."<br /><br />"You asked about his celibacy. He very quickly left without making an answer as I recall."<br /><br />"Well, yes...I suppose I was goading him."<br /><br />"That was the nature of the game was it not?"<br /><br />"We will discuss this further...but I think I should...walk.". I nodded, I had infuriated her, I could see her seething, she was actually worried about what I had said to the children. "You must learn secrecy. Secrecy is the one thing that we must endure. It is our law.". She stood, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_97">glaring</span> at me for a moment then turned to leave.<br /><br />"I understand, but it is not in my nature to lie."<br /><br />"That will change. As has your Nature, Mistress."I was a Prince of Lies...It is not a shame."<br /><br />"Have a pleasant walk <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_98">Nareth</span>", I called as she climbed down without another word.<br /><br />I lay upon the couch, turning over things in my mind. I probably fell asleep, for the next thin I recall, I heard and felt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_99">Nareth</span> ascending once more into the loft.<br /><br />"Well...", she uttered, passing into the loft, she seemed calmer now.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_100">Nareth</span>?", I sat up, "enjoyable walk?"<br /><br />She moved the room and sat on the divan next to me.<br /><br />"As it happens...I came across <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_101">Myrtil</span> and Jimmy outside the theatre."<br /><br />"oh?", I asked nervously.<br /><br />"They are never hard to find. I have told them they are not to enter the laboratory. I have made it clear that, if they do, I will involve the authorities.<br /><br />I nodded, "Was that wise?"<br /><br />"There are places for orphans, where they can..be more beneficial..."<br /><br />"but..telling a child that they cannot go somewhere, well....."<br /><br />"It was..rational, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_102">Beq</span>. I merely suggested to them a real world threat, should they trespass. Would you have preferred I killed them?"<br /><br />"A rhetorical question I presume?"<br /><br />"No. It was my first instinct. Let's have no more talk of those infernal children."<br /><br />"Yes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_103">Nareth</span>, I think it would be better for us both."<br /><br />"After I awoke, before I rose...something occurred to me, and I wished to bring it to your attention.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_104">Nareth</span> glanced at me.<br /><br />"Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_105">Wirefly</span> and Miss McMillan..."<br /><br />"Yes?"<br /><br />"Is it not true that they both knew that I had blessed you with the gift, and that you were dying, well before you actually did?"<br /><br />I swallowed unsure of where this was going. "Yes"<br /><br />"They knew, did they not, the jeopardy that you were in. Indeed, I met with them myself."<br /><br />"They did <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_106">Nareth</span>"<br /><br />"I had told them to leave me."<br /><br />"So...here is my question...", She turned slightly, to stare directly.<br /><br />"They knew what was happening, and, more than this, I told him how I could be destroyed."<br /><br />"you did?"<br /><br />"And yet..", she paused, staring at me, I moved my gaze down to the floor. "Instead of even attempting a rescue...they fretted over your supposed violation of their trust. "Now. These are friends? It vexes me...truly.". I glanced back at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_107">Nareth</span> her eyes looking deep into me and unable to meet her gaze settled to look around the room. "I told them...how I might be destroyed, and that I *could* be destroyed. They did not even try. I was...surprised.", She laughed derisively, "He carries that bloody great sword about...", she snorted. "Perhaps it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_108">has</span> some *other* function."<br /><br />"What could they do? I would not wish for them to try to destroy you, they would have only perished in the act."<br /><br />"No, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_109">Beq</span>. I told them that it was not certain that they would perish, as it was, truly, not certain.". My emotions, as ever, betrayed me, I was torn between her lying nature and the presentation of the facts as they appeared. "None of this is certain. Regardless....is this not how moral beings behave, risking one's life to save the life...the soul...of a friend?".<br /><br />"No,", I snapped, this is not true. they will save me. They will find a way, even now they will be seeking such."<br /><br />"They have already walked away from at least one opportunity, Mistress.". I felt the anger rising in me, no doubt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_110">Nareth</span> could feel it too and was keen to exploit it. "More than one, in truth.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_111">Nareth's</span> gaze never wavered, those dark eyes boring into me.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_112">Stop it</span>! I can see what you are trying to do."<br /><br />"And what would that be? What...exactly..*would* that be?"<br /><br />"You wish to destroy the ghost, the grip that I have", her face remained impassive at my accusation.<br /><br />"I would have you see the truth, Mistress. It seems to be the thing you value. You gave your life to save them, yes?"<br /><br />"the truth."<br /><br />"Yes?"<br /><br />"yes?"<br /><br />"Now..."<br /><br />"yes alright yes"<br /><br />"I offered them each the opportunity to exchange the favour. Clearly, plainly and they turned away. They let me have you. I find this...remarkable.<br /><br />"No! I can't <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_113">believ</span>e, they , they wouldn't."<br /><br />"Mistress...I gave Orchid the option of spending one night and one day with me, in exchange for your freedom. She said no. I told her man he might vanguish me by decapitaion or a stake...He wielded nothing. Ergo..", Nareth rose as tears welled up in my eyes and I dropped my face to my hands.<br /><br />"The truth, Mistress. I will lie, if it pleases you better.", Nareth looked down at me, no trace of a smile upon her lips.<br /><br />"I would not have you lie, I would not have half truths either.", I retorted, blinking away my tears.<br /><br />"I have not offered half truths. I see no point, at this time.", Nareth opened her casket.<br /><br />"You told them how to destroy you. But did you tell them that would save me? Would it save me?"<br /><br />"I will rest for a time...It might have, yes. I am not indestructable. Not this vessel. We will talk after I have rested."<br /><br />"You did not answer the questions! arrghh", I snarled with frustration and anger.<br /><br />"Which question, Mistress?", I threw the nearest thing to hand at the casket, Nareth watched as the book struck the stone coffin and fell to the floor.<br /><br />"Did you tell them that killing you would save me?"<br /><br />"Yes.", I balled my fists and looked away at this. If true then she was right. After a short pause she continued, "Well, I'm quite certain that it was a logical conclusion, at the very least. It was plain that you *could* be freed.", with this she slipped into the casket and lay staring at the ceiling. "Ask them, if you wish.".<br /><br />"Logical? To kill the only one who knows the answers? I think you misjudge them".<br /><br />"Perhaps I do. Animal logic often escapes me.", Nareth closed her eyes.<br /><br />"Sleep Nareth, I need time".<br /><br />"Yes, Mistress."Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-18997499492499404862009-01-19T01:29:00.002+00:002009-01-19T01:49:43.762+00:00Sometimes it doesn't even look like youWe emerged into the street, the bright sunlight dazzling me, ducking back inside the house, I grabbed a pair of goggles from the cloakroom emerging to find Nareth sniffing the air, glancing up and down the street.<br /><br />We moved quickly, passing along the street and down the side alleys to the laboratory. the professor's laboratory. The climbed to the sparse loft where 5 long days ago, Nareth had struck me down, infecting me with this lethal curse and yet now it was to be my home.<br /><br />It had changed in those few days now passed. In the corner where I'd submitted to her will now stood a simple white bed.Opposite, unchanged, the cold grey stone of the casket and alongside it, the single chaise longe/sofa that served as furnishing.<br /><br />"Where will I sleep?", I asked. Nareth held up a hand and the door slammed.<br /><br />"I would have you with me...but there is also the bed. Lina usually sleeps there.". I stared at the casket, cold, unwelcoming, sepulchral. "It is your choice."<br /><br />"I am no corpse", I answered, still looking at the casket.<br /><br />"No...you are not. Am I?", Nareth took a seat on the divan and I sat next to her. "The soil in that casket is sacred to us guarded for ages...Handed down."<br /><br />"I feel no attraction to it Nareth. Is that wrong?"<br /><br />"You are...different. I do not know what is appropriate for what you have become. But..already I see so many advantages.", Nareth looked about the small room. "Lina must be out hunting. A pity...". I gazed around the lofts four walls and meagre furnishings.<br /><br />"so this is home now?" I asked unimpressed and somewhat rhetorically.<br /><br />"For now...They would hunt you, Mistress. They would...I cannot imagine.",<br /> Nareth watched me for a moment, and then stood. I looked back up at her from where I sat, as unsure as ever about where these short pensive moments would lead. Nareth reached out, running her fingers through my hair. "Have your feelings changed...towards me? Is there only spite and hatred?"<br /><br />I did not have an answer, desire burned in me as it had previously, but was it led by feelings and emotion or simple carnal lust. Spite and hatred? I looked up her, she looked lost, even scared somehow changed from the earlier Nareth, a post feed mood swing? I looped my arm out around her waist and pulled her close she offered no resistance. "I can..I can be your Orchid...Even now...Not her face...but a receptacle for your longing."<br /><br />"or my professor..."<br /><br />"Yes...If you so wish. Anything you so wish.". I lifted my face, kissing the underside of Nareth's chin, Nareth closed her eyes and relaxed.<br /><br />"what would you wish Nareth?"<br /><br />"Mistress, I am bound to you. My wishes cannot subsume or proceed your own, unless you should wish..."<br /><br />A knock at the door below silenced us, Nareth raised a finger to her lips to silence me, a setting me giggling like a child. We waited, I stood moving behind her, holding her close, arms around her waist, I nuzzled her neck.<br /><br />"Mistress...there was something important...", Nareth closed her eyes at the touch of my lips on the nape of her neck.<br /><br />"how important?", I whispered.<br /><br />"Something very important...You should know."<br /><br />"really?", I licked lightly at her neck causing her to moan softly. "please go on", I prompted continuing my exploration. I looked up as she wiggled free of my hug.<br /><br />"Please, sit.", she indicated down to the sofa and I sat, confused and frustrated at the passion, now inflamed, that had been denied. Nareth, looked down at me and removed her spectacles and I looked up into the deep wells of her eyes.<br /><br />"Since I first laid eyes on you, there was desire in me. Not hunger...not only hunger. But you know this.", I smiled a little and nodded as she held out a cold hand stroking the side of my face sighed at the warmth as I closed my eyes the cold touch sending a ripple of sensation through cheek to my spine. "You must know what was done to this vessel...that it might contain what I am".<br /><br />"you are more than a vessel Nareth", I replied trying to offer some comfort but she shook her head.<br /><br />"I am a vessel...literally. Tepes...he took the body of Sang Li, which by then contained the mind of Nareth Nishi...It was carried deep into his fortress in the mountains." She paused, as though the memories were difficult to recount. I...it...it was bound. It was bound". I held up a hand to Nareth, an offer of reassurance. "Mina and the others, they came too late...What he guarded...was passed into this vessel. Relics from the dark times...", Nareth glanced down at her belly. He put into me certain artifacts.Into me. Into..her. Deep...into her. That they would be carried in this womb."<br /><br />"Do you see?", Nareth watched me closely. Looking into my eyes.<br /><br />"I see but I do not understand why".<br /><br />"Because, he knew that he was going to die. That he would lose the battle with the Company of Light. Elenore Darwin told him that, and he believed her. The relics had to be kept safe and he looked at your professor, the Impaler did, and he told her, "Now...I will make you perfect. Now," he said, "I will make you even as the angels were made and no man shall ever enter you.". The vessel was..sealed.". Nareth had begun to tremble. A realisation of what she was saying came over me.<br /><br />"sealed..? Oh ....Nareth", I looked up with pity in my eyes.<br /><br />"I am...a reliquary. I am..the mother of all Damnation. And no matter the desires he poured into me, I am...unable...", Nareth reached to unbutton her coat, I took her hands in mine and then raising a finger, unfastened her coat, letting it drop to the floor. "You must see this...and you must understand this...Can you look upon such a thing?".<br /><br />I sat back in my seat "I would look upon you with these fresh untainted eyes".<br /><br />"Very well.", she whispered. "It is the mark that brands me, even as his kiss branded me.", She pulled off her gloves, removing her vest and somewhat reluctantly, unbuttoning her trousers. I watched her as she undressed, reluctant and shy she was quite different to her normal self. I watched her solemn facing following hers hands down across her pale white breasts and stomach as she stepped from her trousers. "As smooth...as inviolable...We must know these truths."<br />Nareth looked around at the scatter of clothing on the floor. Looking up from the clean smoothness, between her legs, I reached out, tenderly, to pull her down to me. Nareth stood back resisting, uncertain.<br />"There is more than violation, Nareth, and I am no man".<br /><br />"If that is so, this mind does not recall it. No, you are not...I will not choose men.". I smiled up at her and ran my fingertips across her stomach, looping down, feeling the intriguing smoothness between her legs. She watched me sadly, "I had no *need* of it, after all. No need...". I let my hand slip round behind her, cupping her buttocks and pulling her forward, this time, Nareth did not resist. I pressed my lips against Nareth's stomach. "She is in there, after a fashion. My Lady...".<br /><br />I reached down unlaced my boots and cast them aside, resting my head once more against her body. "It is...it all..so...strange now...It is become so...strange." she said, as I looked up. Nareth bent down kissing the top of my head and I swung my feet up onto the couch laying down upon the cushions<br />"You know..there is no love in me.", she continued, smiling down at me as I began to unbutton my jacket. "But...I have made you feel wanted.". I nodded. "When my Lady comes....", she trailed off, her dark eyes watching me as I undressed.<br /><br />I lifted my body slightly, slipping my trousers off and casting them onto the floor, smiling up at her, she seemed more lost than ever now, overtaken by a kind of innocence. I reached up to her hand and pulling her down, sat her on the edge of the cushion brushing my body against hers. I lifted my arms above my head, pulling off my top, throwing it on to the pile around us. Pressing firmly against her, causing her to flinch at the touch. I looked up into her eyes, grinning, and mimicking her intonation asked,<br /><br />"would you look upon me Nareth?". She looked back her face unmoving, the simple joke lost in her confusion".<br /><br />"Yes...I would. My mind...", she smiled. An odd, nervous smile. I pulled off my undershirt<br /><br />"For one moment, let me not be the Messenger...For one moment.", her voice pleading, though with whom it was unclear.<br /><br />"would you mind Nareth? remove my panties for me. Please.", I settled back waiting for her, as she nodded and gently leant forward, tugging at my panties, slipping them down across my legs and then off, sniffing them before dropping them to the floor.<br />I smirked, and ran a finger gently down the side of Nareth's body, then pulled her closer, laying her next to me. I raised my left hand to her hair, as she moved down, licking at my left nipple, the roughness sending sending a pleasant shudder through my body as with my right hand I caressed her back, laughing playfully and tickling her gently with my fingertips, then holding her head to my breast.<br /><br />I pulled at her hair, drawing her head up pushing her back down, as she smiled briefly before letting her teeth pierrce the flesh of the aureole, and she began to gently suck as I squealed at the shock and relaxed as the sensations of blood sharing replaced any pain<br />"yes, Nareth, you too can feed", I said, breathing faster. Nareth nodded, and sucked harder, her right hand sliding down between my legs. I let my thighs drift apart, accepting her touch, and started as she stopped sucking, looking up with her pearl black eyes, her lips rouged with my blood, and I felt her fingers slip to the cleft of my vagina<br /><br />"I must be invited..." she laughed, I chuckled looking down at her.<br /><br />"You have my personal invitation Nareth".<br /><br />"Thank you.", she replied, and I sighed as she slipped a finger inside finding me already wet. I craned my neck and kissed the top of her head, running my hands across her shoulders, as she lifter her face to me and we kissed. She broke away quickly, dropping down to my crotch<br />"So...so..perfect.", she sighed. I brought my legs up, wrapping them behind Nareth's back, lifting myself slightly from the cushion, as Nareth slipped her cat-like toungue inside me, drawing blood from delicate tissue. I shuddered, my body tensing, then, opening my legs wider moved my pelvis in a rocking motion, pushing down onto her then pulling back as her rough tongue worked and I worked my hands through her hair feeling the roughness inside me. A soft growl rose from Nareth's throat, becoming more like a purr as her tongue probed deeper.<br /><br />I squirmed with the pulses of peculiar pleasure as the penetration moves inward, and threw my head back, swallowing the saliva in my mouth tasting blood and realising that I had bitten my lip in the course of passion. Nareth's arms ranged along my body and she placed her hands firmly at either side of my hips, holding me firm and still. Then pulling out her tongue, paused for the briefest instant before sinking her fangs into me.<br />I screamed as the fangs tore into me and Nareth bore down, holding on. Her tongue moved on to my clitoris, and working it carefully. I tensed again, nearing cramp, wrapping my legs tighter still around her feeling blood and saliva run through my vagina, my breath quickening, the surge of beautiful sensation building in my abdomen as Nareth's sharp nail's sank into my thighs. Nareth withdrew her teeth, turning her face up to stare at me, her mouth dripping, I panted, licking my lips<br />"A kiss?", she asked and I blinked slowly, nodding, releasing her from my legs, guiding her head up to me, rubbing a trail of blood along my body. She raised her head, her mouth lingering but inches from my own, teasing me as I flicked at her lips with my tongue, lifting my mouth towards her.<br /><br />"It is...the blood...he said, it is the Life.", she called out before leaning back down , to lick away the trail of blood, sending bursts of electricity through my skin.<br /> before returning to hang in front of me. "Kiss me...", she demanded and I did not deny her pulling her close, biting down hard on her lip. She snarled, but did not pull away as I tilted my head, placing my lips over hers, shocking her with the heat of my breath. Nareth pulled away very roughly, blood spilling from her mouth, spattering across my breasts. "No..stop...", she cried, a note of alarm in her voice, "...the breath.". I shuddered at the sudden loss of passion, gasping for air. Nareth shook her head.<br /><br />"The breath Nareth?", I looked back at her worried and confused a almost equally confused, she leant down and licked away the spilled blood. Nareth raised her head again, her teeth bared.<br /><br />"Something...I do not know...you are not only alive...", She sat up, wiping at her face, staring at the casket. She spoke then, her voice distant and as if reading, or recalling from memories long buried. "There's always a siren...singing you...", she paused, looking back to me, "Three. And each of us so very different. Yet..each of us...", Nareth closed her eyes and shivered. "Singing you to shipwreck.". She broke away, staring down at ours clothes on the floor. "There is no love in me, nor life..and I am not your Professor."<br /><br />I looked at her, watching, then shifting my gaze to my own body, watching the torn flesh of my abdomen reform.<br /><br />"but she is there, Nareth, I feel her"<br /><br />"Yes...she is in me. Always. I am the Messenger, and you are...you are something..that must go before the coming of our Lady.", Nareth laid a hand on her bare stomach then paused. before speaking in a strangely masculine voice... "My mind is overthrown.". I looked up in shock as Nareth stared blankly at the wall. I wriggled up into the corner of the couch, pulling my knees up in front of me<br />"I have crossed oceans of time..Oceans of time, and there is always a siren, singing you...", silence, for a moment and when she spoke again, her voice was her own. "Nyarlathotep...*that* is my name. And..this is only a skin I have been given for a time. There must be no forgetting. Nareth stood, gathering her clothes...<br /><br />"no forgetting", I echoed.<br /><br />"No...", Nareth walked toward the casket, holding her clothes to her body. "You may lay with me, or take the bed. It matters not.". I stood, walked naked to the casket, running a hand along the surface. Pausing for a long moment, then without meeting Nareth's eye, I turned and walked to the bed. "So be it...", she called after me.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-69832045749345844942009-01-16T20:25:00.003+00:002009-01-16T20:37:55.254+00:00What can never come back?The final stage of death is generally unobserved, except by the unreliable witness of those rescued from death who often lack the rational thought to distinguish the process from their religious faith.<br /><br />Reliable...a subjective term. I sit here writing,some weeks after the fact, in these brief stolen moments of lucidity between the despair of understanding the gravity of what I do when this conscience is suppressed and the inevitable return and submission to those overwhelming hungers that drive this thing that I have ... that drive my kind. In these moments hoping, that in their recollection, there will be some small glimmer of hope, some indication of a way out. But even as I write I must wrestle with myself, is this truly me writing or am I suborned to her will, as she in turn is held captive? Is this record to be trusted?<br /><br />Of course, full true death does not come with the bodily death, with heart's failure, nor with the cessation of breathing, it comes after a period of intense pain as every working nerve in your body screams out its final cry for help, after the last reserves have been exhausted, or when the brain itself, the final repository of life no longer functions. In this last sense, I never died, my eyesight dimmed, through oxygen starvation and the excess of sensation, of pain. I lay insensible to all intents, trapped in a dead body, my mind a flaming smoke filled building. Was this the work of Harmonia? More likely the despicable blood virus itself, I should make a note to ask her when she awakes, for I am different to her in at least this sense, my brain is still fed by oxygen rich blood, not whatever "magick", for I can name no science for this, whatever "magick" binds the rest of my kind to their mockery of life. No, it lives in the regular sense. Is it this that vexes her so, denies her the ultimate control? And yet I fade, each passing week submitting more to these terrible urges, killing, hunting, raping.How long now until these brief respites are gone forever and I am lost beneath the waves of blood lust forever? When that time has come I can but hope that someone end it all, though I know that in all probability I will fight for this existence, it is my instinct.<br /><br />The silent darkness of the insensible enveloped me, and how long I lay like this I cannot say......<br /><br />A swirling light, a burning, searing pain tore through my body, my back arched, convulsing violently, as muscles contracted with renewed strength, my heart engorged with blood jumped to life, a strong powerful beat, pulsing through my veins, its echoes thumping away in my mind. The lungs inflated, forcing out the liquid inside, and now full of air, they screamed at the shock.<br />"hhhhhhharrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh", a monstrous noise, of air forced out across newly living vocal chords.<br /><br />.... and with an agonized scream Beq Janus was born.<br /><br />"nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!!"<br /><br /><br />My skin crawled with the stings of 100 million tiny insects, as the blood pumped through the veins feeding it anew. My eyes still open, clearing, still fringed with darkness revealed two people stood at the door as if ready to leave, their faces stained with tears they looked back in shock. Frozen between running away and returning to my side.<br /><br />"O dear god", Rip's voice low and scared, "This isn't right, Orchid we shouldn't be here".<br /><br />Across the stairs the balcony doors opened with a bang, and a sudden, violent whoosh of air roared through the entire house. In the back of my mind a burning rage once more took up its place.<br /><br />"NO!", shouted Nareth's voice from below them.<br /><br />I growled, a wild, instinctive animal growl, startling Rip and Orchid forcing them to step back from the bed.<br /><br />"ruuuuuunnnnnnn", I screamed my lungs still driving enormous flows of air through my system.<br /><br />"Orchid we need to leave NOW!", Rip took Orchid by the arm pulling her to the door as Nareth ran in to the room.<br /><br />"NO.", Nareth stopped staring in disbelief at the bed, a hitherto unseen rage about her. Orchid unsure whether Nareth was shouting at them or not froze to the spot.<br /><br />My mind was engulfed in the twin turmoils of Nareth's rage and the throbbing sensational pain of pins and needles throughout every part of my body.<br /><br />"Move away from her. Now.", Nareth snarled, and the pair backed away towards the door. ""What trickery is this? What magick? It cannot *breathe*".<br />"Na....r...eth?", my breathing now coming in ragged breathless pants.<br /><br />"It is *dead*.", she glared at my new body, and screamed, "I am *not* Nareth. You *know* that bloody well."<br /><br />Hesitantly, Rip started to move down the stairs, as Orchid lingered staring back at the events in the room, dumbstruck<br /><br />I sniffed the air like a beast, my stomach growling loudly.<br /><br />"Yessssssss....", cheered Nareth "The hunger comes. Then, all is not lost."<br /><br />"Orchid... we need to go", Rip nervously tugs at Orchid who seems fixed to the ground outside the bedroom door, her face aghast, nodding silently, unable to tear her eyes away. Nareth turned to face them.<br /><br />Struggling against the pain of returning life, I pulled my self up to a sitting position, rubbing my limbs. Looking about the room as hawk surveys the fields below it.<br /><br />"I would start running now, were I you. She is starving.", advised Nareth with a sneer.<br /><br />"I haven't ever agreed with you more Nareth", replied Rip, pulling Orchid harder, then pushing her in front of him down the stairs. Nareth growled as she watched them leave.<br /><br />"What has happened.", asked Nareth her voice still enraged and bitter. I stretched my arms feeling the renewed muscle tissue burn with blood."Answer me.", she screamed, shaking with fury.<br /><br />"This is what you wanted., I spat back.<br /><br />"You are...living. our body draws breath.". This much was evident, I raised a hand to my neck feeling the deep firm pulse. I swallowed realising what had happened.<br /><br />"The amulet...Yes? Harmonia. The amulet", she laughed, her rage seeming to subside into a wicked mirth. "Oh, what a sweet, sweet twist. What is it I have fashioned? A living vampire?", she laughed again.<br /><br />The throbbing and confusion starts to subside and my head begins to clear.<br /><br />"I am hungry Nareth", I sniffed the air again.<br /><br />"Yes. You are...And what do you want?"<br /><br />"So thirsty....", I looked down at the meagre fluid in the vial at my neck, but instead Nareth held out her wrist.<br /><br />"But only a little....", she said smiling. I licked my lips edging forward across the mattress. "Yes..that's it.", she added, beckoning to me. I sat on the edge of the bed and taking Nareth's arm in my hands, then pausing looking up, confused. Nareth watched me, licking her own lips, "Oh, still no teeth....so frustrating, yes?". I stared up at her mocking smile, a snarl building in my throat. She laughed and a gash opened in her wrist. "There, suckle". I snatched the wrist greedily to my lips, drinking deeply. as Nareth closed her eyes, moaning softly with pleasure. "Yours lips, so warm...". I looked up not lifting my mouth from her wrist, and licked playfully at the wound, causing he to moan louder. "Already, your tongue grows rough and yet,...alive."<br /><br />"Beq...listen to me...Mistress", her tone more serious now, I kept watching her, as the warm Ecstasy of the feed spread through my body. "When...when you have fed....You must dress, and we must leave this place. They will be back...Police..."<br /><br />"Leave? But...my home"<br /><br />"It is now the home of a monster, to those in this city. You must hide, with me, where it is safe."<br /><br />"safe? where can be safe"<br /><br />"My haven is safe. It is protected. Lina will watch over us." She assured me and at this I leant back down to the wrist, running my tongue along the flesh one last time, feeling Nareth shudder and hearing her soft growl. "Mistress...I have desire...you cannot even comprehend...even now. Do not tempt me."<br /><br />"Pah, I am done", I replied, smiling, pushing Nareth away as I liked my lips clean. The wound closed. "then I shall dress, help me stand", I paused, "please".<br /><br />I stand, expecting weakness, dizziness, some remnant of the process I had just emerged from, but instead I found myself renewed, invigorated. Alive.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-47827765520907066412009-01-09T21:18:00.009+00:002009-01-09T23:35:53.193+00:00Say goodbye<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Nareth?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />Mistress...</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I am with you.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><br />I am coming....falling now</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br />Mistress, it's not a fall.</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> You are flying now.</span><br /><br />Nareth was beside me again, I had almost come to expect her presence when I awoke. Pain throbbed and bit through my body as I fumbled with the vial, my hands shaking, unable to release the lid. Stepping closer, Nareth leant forward.<br /><br />"Do you need me to help?", she asked and I nodded as best I could, "Speak only to my mind. Do not waste your strength.", She reached down, opening the vial and pressing it to my lips. I coughed in an involuntary spasm as the warm liquid hit my parched dry throat, curling up in pain as a shudder ran through my body. Tears welled in my eyes as I stared up at Nareth. "Take all you wish. There is no need to hold back now.". Nareth grit her teeth against the pain she was obviously feeling too. Stepping back slightly she closed the vial.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"you should leave me, I will hurt you too"</span><br /><br />"Should think I have a little pain coming to me, yes?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"I would not wish this on anyone, even you"</span>, Nareth's gaze wandered down to stare at my bruised and wasted form.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3528/3178172472_b040d27e65_b.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 512px; height: 384px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3528/3178172472_b040d27e65_b.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />"I knew far worse...when my time came. If that knowledge gives you comfort...take it."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"no comfort in another's suffering Nareth"</span><br /><br />"It is the way I was made to be, Mistress. I cannot now be any other way. You are beautiful in this agony."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"beautiful...agony"</span>, I buckled and writhed at the pain in my abdomen now excruciating, probably the effect of Nareth's essence reaching the near dead digestive system. Nareth staggered and took a step back and then taking a further step back from the bed, let a small growl escape her lips, like a wounded animal. I retched every sinew screaming, my mouth filling with dull lifeless blood and bile which dripped from my parched lips. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Nareth.."</span><br /><br />"Mistress...No..Beq..." Nareth seemed to be struggling within herself. "If I could...take this...back..."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Professor"</span>, I croaked and at this she shook her head, growling more loudly. Perhaps it was the confusion of pain and fading consciousness, perhaps a simple memory, but before me I saw not the Sang Li incarnation but my own Nareth, the professor. <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"she would know...you would know how"</span><br /><br />"No...", Nareth was firm, her eyes cold. My body was wracked with coughing, and I began to weep openly as blood leaked from my mouth again. "That woman is dead, Mistress. Just as...just as Sang Li is dead."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"dead....its no longer as final as it was."</span>, I faked a smile, throough the veil of pain. A shudder passed through Nareth and I saw blood running from her nostrils.<br /><br />"I am merely a vessel.", Nareth's voice grew angry and confused."Do not fool yourself. It makes this..harder. Echoes...only echoes.". Nareth cramped, and almost fell, grabbing the wall for support. Her cries undirected seeming more an appeal than an answer<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"who are you talking to?"</span>, In my declining state, my mind focussed on the bitterness that I held, I sought to anger her, perhaps she would end this.<br /><br />"I am speaking to *you*, Mistress.", Nareth struggled to stand up straight, sweating blood.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"you are sure? I have been deceived before, you are so good at deception"</span>, it felt good to mock her for a change, as she had done to me so many times.<br /><br />"I am...sure. I deceived you..I cannot be..deceived. I am the Black Pharoh. The Messenger...".<br /><br />In my mind I laughed to she see Nareth's struggle. My breath was labouring by now throat gurgling with fluid build up. I coughed violently and a gob of blood sprayed the bed sheets and more dripped from my nostrils. Nareth's nose was bleeding freely now too. She looked down at the blood on the bedspread, at my face.<br /><br />"This is NOT a game, Mistress."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"game is nearly over. check mate, you win."</span><br /><br />"Stop fighting. Pain only makes me stronger. Your's *and* mine."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"which Nareth grows stronger?"</span> I questioned. She staggered, cocking her head to one side, looking very confused.<br /><br />"I..must...I must go. You want to find me, when it is done."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"yes, you are wanted, Nareth, professor...."</span>, in my mind I saw my professor again, not the one that stood before me.<br /><br />"There is no Nareth, Mistress.", Nareth clenched her teeth. "And...your precious...Mr. Wirefly...and his Orchid...they will not be safe from you...when it is done. Take care with them.". She wiped blood from her nose and managed a dry laugh. "When the hunger takes you, no one..will be safe."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"If you say so, Nareth"</span>, I sneered as Nareth turned abruptly away, clutching her belly as if in agony.<br /><br />"I say...so...Mistress."<br /><br />*"go, leave me, I will find you and this vicious tawdry life that you have given me.".<br /><br />Nareth stumbled away from me, out of the bedroom and down the stairs, in my mind I saw her leaning against the glazed balcony door for a moment as she gathered her strength. Nareth quickly opened the door. and the air was filled with a roar, like a thousand wings beating at once, my mind assaulted by her rage, with images of Nareth stomping, trudging across snowy rooftops. There are bloody tears on Nareth's face, freezing, turning to rubies, and falling on the snow.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Mistress..."</span>, her voice is vicious.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Professor?"</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"No Professor! It is a silly game, Mistress."</span>. Once again I fix in my mind a single image, the professor as she was. Standing outside the museum.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Yessssss...I knew that woman...I watched her die...I watched the darkness devour her."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"as you will watch me"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Yesssssss...",</span> My mind leapt to Nareth's projection, the streets of the city, filled with rats. And then of a fire, and the city engulfed in flame. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Do not taunt me. It is all within my grasp."</span>. I burn with pain, my mind rages at the image, seering, burning pain in my mind and coughing takes hold of my body. Nareth observes me, but at this distance, does not feel the pain...<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"no taunt, Nareth, just memory"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"Let those memories die. They are useless to you now."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"no! they are me, leave me, leave my mind,let me die in peace"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Peace...</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">A thousand rats, a million, fill the streets. I will show you peace soon enough."</span><br /><br />I'd pushed her away, forced her from my side after all, as I fell into unconsciousness, my inner voice called out, and a single tear ran from my eye. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"profeso....."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Sleep, Mistress. Sleep one last time."</span><br /><br />I slept, a broken sleep, threaded with the painful spasms of my failing body, I woke with my head pounding, to hear voices in the house<br /><br />"Should I check upstairs? I'm worried about her.", a woman's voice, echoing from downstairs, the familiarity lifted my heart but still I could not place it.<br /><br />"Me too", a man's voice."lets go upstairs"<br /><br />"Beq?", the woman again<br /><br />"we should check her room", the man.<br /><br />The door creaked slightly as it opened<br /><br />"Beq, it's Or-"<br /><br />The two new arrivals stood staring for a moment, as I lay with my back to them, the full extent of my decline visible on my skin.<br /><br />"What has Nareth done to her?", the mans voice a low whisper. "Beq?"<br /><br />"Nareth?", I mumbled, not fully lucid. The woman moved closer to the bed.<br /><br />"Beq? Are you alright?" she asked. I stirred, recognition returning to me, I rolled over to face the pair, wincing with the additional discomfort. Looking up I could see Orchid, flanked by Rip, her mouth open as if to speak but finding she had nothing to say. I was taken by a fit of coughing and doubles up in pain, a small thread of bloody spittle running from my lips, tracing the cracked red line of dried blood, evident from previous bouts of coughing.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3413/3177338577_98469d05db_b.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 512px; height: 384px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3413/3177338577_98469d05db_b.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />"Beq, wh..", started Rip, stopping, not knowing what to say as in evident pain I struggled to focus<br /><br />"O...Orch...id...Riiip", I sighed, letting the escaping breath form the words.<br /><br />"Beq" said Rip softly peering over Orchid's shoulder<br /><br />"n...ot , not long now"<br /><br />"Now beq, you will be ok, you have to", he continued, forestalling acceptance of the mortal state he had found me in. I coughed again, weeping freely with the pain, parting my dry cracked lips in an attempt to smile. Orchid started to reach out a hand to me, then pulling it back it back in, hugged her arms around herself.<br /><br />"Beq.. this.. this can't be..", She shook her head sorrowfully.Rip, visibly pale looked on in silence<br /><br />"I ... have paid my price yes?", I ventured, looking up to Orchid, summoning my last strength, realising that I had woken now for the last time.<br /><br />"But what have you needed to pay for?" replied Rip as Orchid blinked hard, looking away to one side.<br /><br />"but I ...w...ill...", more coughs, more blood tinged fluids, " n..n.not be a..alone..not n..now", I rocked slightly, resting as Orchid blinked away the tears forming in her eyes.<br /><br />"Beq, you never were alone!", she protested.<br /><br />"w..wanted..sh..she wants..me"<br /><br />"But what of you, Beq? What do YOU want?". I looked at Orchid, my eyes full of pink blood tinged tears<br /><br />"n..n.not th this". Rip looked down, unable to look at me<br /><br />"n..n.never. w.w.wwanted th...s.s.sh...she lives..."<br /><br />"Did she do this to you? Do more than she has done to hurt you already?"<br /><br />There was a loud thud on the roof followed by the sound of running footsteps....<br /><br />Rip jumped slightly and looked up, as Orchid and I too turned our eyes to the sky<br /><br />"sh....she...prof..eesssor, isss good, iss there....I.I..feel her"<br /><br />"Orch...id....Riiip, I .. I... will see you, do ... do not tr...ust...eat....hung....geeerrrr"<br /><br />Rip looks saddened and confused as I was taken with a spasm of pain, my skins broke out in a sweat, and I coughed up a glob of blood which soaked into the sheets. Rip lurched forward towards the bed before stopping<br /><br />"Beq.."<br /><br />"nearly...." I croak, my voice itself failing now, Orchid reached forward again stopping short of touching me, uncertain if she should. I reached out my hand and lay it limply on the mattress<br /><br />"good bye", Orchid rested her hand atop mine.<br /><br />"Beq...no", Rip's protest, becoming tearful. I cry, weeping pink tinged tears freely.<br /><br />"Beq! No!", enjoined Orchid sobbing, squeezing her fingers around my hand tightly<br /><br />"You cant leave us beq, you cant"<br /><br />"must..die, body is ... gone. Help me...she.. f...ears Elen...be tray...". Orchid McMillan began to sob uncontrollably, fingers still clenched tightly around my limp hand<br /><br />"Elenore then... you want us to find Elenore?", Orchid asked, as Rip put his hand on her shoulder, tears dropping down his face. I closedmy eyes, coughing, then opened them once more. Orchid McMillan shook my hand, pleading, "Beq... Beq... is that what you want? Beq?"<br /><br />"help me..d.d.do .....do not let .....", I shudder passes across my body, my breathing laboured more heavily, a gurgling, rattle rose in my throat.<br /><br />"do not let what beq?", Rip stared at me, waiting. I coughed, dislodging something, blood flowing freely from my mouth. Orchid closed her eyes, turning away, unable to look at me any longer<br /><br />"her win", I gasped.<br /><br />Orchid McMillan whispers, "Alright Beq."<br /><br />"all ends", the words merely a gasp. Rip stands with tears rolling down his face.<br /><br />"She will not win beq"<br /><br />My body convulsed, shuddering, my chest gripped with the pain as my heart failed...I drew my legs up before forcing my eyes open. Drawing the deepest breath I could, a moment of clarity,<br /><br />"go, run...not safe now, I am not safe for you...save your... selves", A final violent cough tore threw me. My breath spent, my heart stilled, my body broken and finally at rest, I stared at the ceiling as the world closed in...<br /><br />... and with a shudder Beq Janus died.<br /><br />"Beq, we cant leave you, not like this" sobbed Rip as Orchid watched through tearful eyes, clenching my hand in hers, falling to her kness, tears falling in steady streams from her eyes. "Beq?...BEQ?"Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-66303512813862079242009-01-08T21:10:00.003+00:002009-01-08T22:02:11.389+00:00I miss the kiss of treachery...Throughout my long dying days, Nareth was forever with me when I woke. Yet often it was hard to tell who she was, which of the conflicting personalities, the professor and the beast as I had come to think of them. Was she there to care for me, ease my suffering? Or to ensure that I died, that I was beyond redemption? But in those days I came to look forward to the visits, whether to spar with the beast and goad its anger or to call out to the professor. I felt a certain warmth that for whatever reason might being compelling her presence at my bedside, she would at least be there with me at the end. In this way I would not die alone. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span></span>"Mistress...Wake up."</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"mnnh?....Nareth?"</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Of course."</span><br /><br /> Nareth was by the bedside, smiling down at me. The preceding day's anger and malice removed from her visage, replaced with a look nearing compassion, though she would never admit to entertaining such notions. I lifted my head from the pink spittle stained pillow.<br /><br />"It is bad, yes?", she peered into my eyes. I nodded weakly. "Have you been using the vial? It's no good, if you dont use it.". I took the vial from around my neck, fumbling with the lid as Nareth pulled off her gloves.<br /><br />"Yes, I've been asleep though, it is worst when I wake"<br /><br />"Yes, it would be. I feel it..."<br /><br />I touched the neck of the vial on my tongue, letting the liquid flow into my mouth. Nareth glanced around the room.<br /><br />"Nareth?"<br /><br />"Yes?"<br /><br />"There is something different"<br /><br />"Is there? And what is that?"<br /><br />"come closer". Nareth circled the bed again.<br /><br />"Is this close enough?", she asked, I smiled.<br /><br />"you have a vial too?"<br /><br />"I meant it as a...surprise. No. No vial."<br /><br />"yet you have colour,"<br /><br />"It was an unforseen consequence of my changing Lina. Her heritage is...complicated."<br /><br />"it is, a surprise"<br /><br />"It is very fortuitous."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"wonderful surprise"</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Yes, wonderful."</span><br /><br />Nareth stood in front of me and tied her hair up.<br /><br />"I have half a mind to cut it all off, truthfully.", I raised a hand<br /><br />"no, I like it"<br /><br />"My hair?"<br /><br />"yes", I replied nodding. Nareth laughed softly. "when all was cold, it was still, alive", I added.<br /><br />"You look terrible.", Nareth cocked her head to one side, repeating what she's just heard.<br /><br />"I am ...I have felt better I don't think I have long Nareth"<br /><br />"I should think not. I am surprised that you've last this long. You need to let go, Beq. Stop fighting."<br /><br />"give me your hand", I beckoned to her. Nareth smiled and held out her hand and I closed her eyes as I felt the warmth.<br /><br />"I have just fed...it should be fairly warm."<br /><br />"so it is colour only then, your skin"<br /><br />"Yes...colour. Complexion. And I can take the sun a bit better."<br /><br />"I see, but you are warmer than I", Nareth peers through her pince-nez, narrow her eyes.<br /><br />"I am, aren't I?" her features seem to soften as I sigh, "It hurts, Beq. I feel it, and it is as painful..when I feel it...". Nareth glances about the room again.<br /><br />"the vial, the liquid, it softens it, blunts it, but it does not leave"<br /><br />"I think, perhaps, you are hanging on... It will not leave until you are dead.", Nareth bent forward slightly, cramping, the pain worse as she came nearer.<br /><br />I winced at the pain echoed in Nareth's mind as she stood staring at me, lay out upon the bed my sallow complexion, the signs of death growing by the hour on my skin.<br /><br />"Echoes...echoes of echoes...". Nareth reached up wiping sweat from her brow, then stared at the blood on her hand, "Let me end it now, Mistress. I can make it fast, easy.". Nareth flinched slightly.<br /><br />"No, Nareth, I would, I would like to say good bye"<br /><br />"Good bye. To whom?"<br /><br />I looked down<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"To them</span>"<br /><br />"Never mind..I see it in your mind...". Nareth almost doubled over, steadying herself on the edge of the bed...I looked up at her a hint of concern in my eyes. "Fine..then...have your tearful good byes. You commanded me not to hurt you again."<br /><br />"Nareth, please don't be angry, allow me my last human moments", Nareth gritted her teeth and stared at the pattern in the bedspread. "The time for anger has passed, Mistress. I am not...angry.". I winced and smiled a little, then with cramping in my stomach curled in to a ball.<br /><br />"I would only...ease...the passage...", she cried out and almost fell, then laughed a hard, bitter laugh.<br /><br />"I .... thank you for that".<br /><br />Nareth cursed under her breath.<br /><br />"Ride the pain......", I added, smiling, remembering...<br /><br />"Indeed.", Nareth looked up, her face slick with bloody sweat. "Mistress, this is..intolerable..."<br /><br />"I am hurting you? Or is it more?". Nareth held a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.<br /><br />"The proximity. The bond.I'd not antocipated this."<br /><br />"then leave me Nareth, I have the vial to blunt it, only distance can help you"<br /><br />"May I at least do more to make you comfortable?", I nodded freely. Nareth opened her eyes. "I will offer you my wrist, and you will drink, yes? Drink deeply?". I swallowed and finding my mouth dry, licked my parched lips. "Please?". I watched Nareth, she began to look positively ill.<br /><br />"Yes Nareth, Please give me your wrist"<br /><br />Nareth held her wrist to her own mouth, tearing it open with her fangs, then sat on the edge of the bed and pressed it to my mouth.<br /><br />"Deeply...", Nareth squeezed her eyes shut again and I held Nareth's hand before her palm up.<br />Nareth whispered, "You are so very near to the precipice now. My Lady is waiting to welcome you."<br /><br />I pushed out my tongue running it up through the stream of warmth, feeling a shudder run through Nareth. I sighed at the pleasurable warmth that filled me.<br /><br />"Such a story...the heroes come too late...", Nareth licks at her own lips. My tongue found the tear, licking at it before bringing the wrist to my lips kissing, sucking, drawing down the blood. Nareth's legs buckled and she sat on the edge of the bed. "Deeply as you may.". I closed my eyes and murmured with satisfaction. "Is it not joyous?"<br /><br />I drank, sucking at the wound feeling a blood run in motuthfuls across my taste buds. Nareth stared at the bedspread, at red drops of her sweat falling and leaving dark spots.Lifting my face, from her wrist I looked up at Nareth. Nareth stop still, as I lifted my face to hers, kissing at the red drops, licking them gently with my tongue. Nareth turned her face to mine, and near tears, returned the kiss before pulling away, standing her face hard and stern.<br /><br />"Stop it...stop...", I shuddered as Nareth trailed off staring down at me, laying on the bed licking my lips, looking up wide eyed unsure what it was that I had done that was so wrong. Nareth stood up straighter still, fussing with her vest, trying to appear more composed.<br /><br />"One more day...that is all. If it is not over, I *will* end your suffering."<br /><br />I looked up with sadness and Nareth took two steps back...<br /><br />"I must go. Please, do not fight, and remember the vial."<br /><br />"I am sorry, I...didn't mean to hurt you"<br /><br /> Nareth shook her head.<br /><br />"We are beyond the place of regret, Beq Janus. And I am only a vessel for pain. It is no matter."<br /><br />"no, you are so much more Nareth, so much more"<br /><br />"No...", a confused looks crossed her face. I am what I am required to be. ", she turned towards the door, making to leave.<br /><br />"is that all it is? just a job?"<br /><br />"Not a...job. A calling, Mistress. I was called...", I frowned at this gilding ."One does not ignore the pipes.". Nareth cramps again and leans against the door.<br /><br />"then you are dismissed, thank you Nareth, for easing my pain."<br /><br />"No matter, Mistress. I serve."<br /><br />I followed her sadly at Nareth as she left, then in my mind I saw her stumble to the balcony and peer down at the snowy street.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Please, Mistress, do not fight."</span>, with this thought Nareth vaulted over the balustrade.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Soon, Nareth, I am coming."</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"I am waiting."</span>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-30943747681134796552009-01-06T00:42:00.005+00:002009-01-07T00:59:07.380+00:00One more treacherous nightThe kidney and liver are early victims, failing fast and, by their very nature, repositories of the putrefying toxins that will soon bring down the remaining organs. The ensuing fever and the unquenchable thirst unite to provide some limited cleansing of the bloodstream through perspiration; urea excreted in one's sweat drying as an unsightly frosting of salt-like crystals on one's skin. The cramps have now begun in earnest, muscles deprived of nutrients atrophy, the stomach and bowel begin to breakdown, the lungs no longer expand as they did, filling slowly with fluid. Externally the most noticeable effect is the discolouration of the skin and the whites of the eyes as Jaundice takes a hold. But for the mind, the living mind existing in a putrefying body, it is the fevers and the nightmares that are the worst of it.<br /><br />The surging sea of ecstasy from the night before had tossed this body through wave after towering wave of energy and exhilaration before dashing it upon the shore, abandoning the rotting carcass like seaweed cast upon the beach as the tide turns. The fever had come with a vengeance, every muscle ached with the poisons that flowed through my veins, every movement risking cramps. Yet I had found some solace, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nareth</span> had shown me that I was wanted that there was more than friendship, that I could be loved and so despite everything my heart beat faster when I heard her voice the next day as awoke from fevered dreams.<p></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"Mistress....I am with you."</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Nareth</span>......"</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"You are hurting. I felt it when I woke."</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"fever, so hot...."</span><br /><br />"Yes...fever. Putrefaction has begun, I suspect. Gangrene. Organ failure...". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Nareth</span> sniffed at the air, a slightly puzzled look on her face. She had entered as I drifted in the fevered <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">miasma</span> that served for most of my waking hours.<br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"cramps <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Nareth</span>,"<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Oh, yes. I should think so. Your body is beginning the purge."<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"dying...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">soo</span> thirsty". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Nareth</span> nods slowly, watching me carefully.<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"And these things are as they should be...but...something is...wrong.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Nareth</span> sniffed the air again. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"The wound on your throat has healed. How?". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Nareth</span> cocked her head to one side, her brows furrowing. I look puzzled, raising my hand to the right of my neck.<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It has”, I mouthed<br />“How can that be?”, her tone had a bitter edge, a different note to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Nareth</span> I was looking for. No sign now of the love and desire.<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I....I don't...”, I was scared, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Nareth's</span> tone, her demeanour conveyed menace.<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Some other force...Something I have not seen. It isn't saving you, but...still...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Nareth</span> glanced about the room.<br /><br />I had not even noticed the wound was missing, in fact I could not recall ever having seen it. I thought back to a few days earlier, to the scratches on my neck, those too had vanished overnight, I'd thought no more of it. Then I realised....<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"amulet", I struggled. "it will save....preserve"<br /><br />"What are you speaking of?", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Nareth</span> snarled, clearly annoyed. My mind wandered drifting to other images. "What amulet?"<br /><br />"easier to think"<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Is it...easier. Then I should command you to speak.”<br /><br />"the necklace, Harmonia it is named"<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Harmonia....And this trinket healed your throat?"<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">yeesss</span> it would have"<br /><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"But...Mistress..even now you are rotting from the inside out. I smell it. So...what is the point?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"I simply own it, I do not understand it, </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Nareth</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">, please believe me."</span>, My strength was ebbing away from me it was futile to speak when the mind could do so much. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Nareth's</span> face shifted to a dark look of anger, concern, not for me but for herself, for her plans, she was worried worried that her precious "gift" might be rejected. Then her voice softened.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Beq</span>...It is no matter. Forget it. We will speak on this another time. When you are...better"</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I tried to project my memories, explain what I knew.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> "Juliana, drowned, revived, and drowned again"</span>, in my head I saw my dreams, my re-imagining of her ordeal, the autopsy. <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"It only fixes what is broken, I don't know"</span>, I looked up apologetically, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">attempting</span> to shrug, I could only guess.<br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Nareth</span> flared her nostrils again, her anger returning<br /><br />"And you did not tell me this."<br /><br />"So, I am not alone in deception."<br /><br />"An ..omission.", I returned trying to grin, it was funny to see the tables turned whether deliberately or not. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Nareth</span> laughed softly.<br /><br />"Indeed. Admirable. I have chosen well.", She <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">leant</span> forward on the bed, staring intently at me. "I prepared for you a gift. I had thought to lessen your suffering...but...this omission...well...", I smiled at the suggestion that my pain might be lessened, but catching her tone the smile soon fell from my lips; then, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Nareth</span>, striking almost too swiftly for me to even detect the movement, seized me and hurled me across the room, towards the window. I landed hard upon my side, feeling tissues once pliable and alive, crush beneath me with a sickening squelch. I did not have the time or energy to cry out, as the pain dimmed my vision, I simply lay where I landed, watching her, waiting for her to strike again, to finish my fighting. I looked on in disbelief, just a day before she had taken me to a happiness I had not known for years, she had truly wanted me. I saw then the illusion, the deceit once more, there was truly nothing beyond her power, and this time it was my feelings being crushed. I looked on in disbelief.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Nareth</span> stood by the bed observing me.<br /><br />"Now...As you lie there...or maybe try to crawl back to your bed...Think on my admiration for you."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Nareth</span>!", the words spat out in spasms of pain and sobbing, "you are hurting me". Pointless words, pleading for some sign of of woman from last night, but her anger swirled in my mind as much as in her own.<br /><br />"Am I?", her lips curled as she sat beside me, watching me cower at her approach, "Well, your amulet, it will make it all better, no doubt."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Nareth</span>...", I paused seeking enough breath, would she kill me now before I could finish?<br /><br />“Yes?”<br /><br />"not again...",<br /><br />"Not again...what?", she mocked me, I summoned my strength.<br /><br />"you will not hurt me again, I ....command"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Nareth</span> shuddered, there was silence for a moment.<br /><br />"Yes, Mistress. My anger...I forget...myself.", She bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood and reaching out lay a gloved hand upon my shoulder. I lay on the floor not wanting to move, not able to move.<br /><br />"When I was with you...when I gave you the kiss...It was all so...strange.", she growled softly. "Strange.". She reached into a pocket of her coat and took out a silver chain with something hanging from it.<br /><br />"how? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Nareth</span>, I was not the first. Nothing new"<br /><br />"I do not understand the question, Mistress. I...felt...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Nareth</span> stopped herself, for a moment, a brief moment I had controlled and perhaps allowed freedom, but it had been clawed back.<br /><br />"Don't hold back <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Nareth</span>, I can see your mind still, clouded as it is"<br /><br />"It is clouded, isn't it? Does that seem right to you?"<br /><br />"I assumed decay..."<br /><br />"My mind..does NOT decay....", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Nareth</span> glared, more than a hint of anger returning to her for a moment, long enough for me to flinch.<br /><br />"but mine..." I gasped. "is it dying too?"<br /><br />"It will survive. The pain merely blurs your thoughts. This will help...", she dropped the chain on the floor in front of me. It comprised a glass vial filled with a red substance attached to the chain along with a couple of charms of an indistinct metal. "It was prepared with the aid of my new girl. It is my essence, distilled. Not merely blood. Unscrew the lid, and merely take the smallest taste. The pain will fade, for a time."<br /><br />"New girl?", I asked, had she taken someone else as well? Orchid? Despite the promises? But no she would not have been able to conceal her joy at such a betrayal.<br /><br />"You will meet her.", she assured me, watching as my hand reached out for the vial. "She has sought me out. And she has many uses. I think the two of you shall become quite close, yes?", she gently stroked my neck as I unscrewed the lid of the vial raising the bottle to my lips and letting little of the liquid seep into my mouth.<br /><br />"yes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Nareth</span>".<br /><br />"Only a small taste, What is contained in that vial could undo this entire city, it is so concentrated.".The tiny amount of liquid filled my mouth with warmth, which flowed into my body as I swallowed. Lina is quite the alchemist. It is enough to see you through. So hot...like a kiln, you are.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Nareth</span> pulled her hand back, then sniffing the air again, she stood. As the warmth spread, my discomfort began to subside<br /><br />"Is it working? Yes...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Nareth</span> looked on, pleased with herself as I pulled myself into a sitting position.<br /><br />"I cannot linger, Mistress... But..there is something. There will be a man...I do not yet see his name. Only his face". I watched <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Nareth</span> speak as I fastened the vial about my neck. He comes seeking answers. He is a sort of...hunter, and another man, a priest, I think."<br /><br />"Both may try to free you. It is too soon to say. The dice are still rolling."<br /><br />"free me?", I echoed. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Nareth</span> nodded slowly, looking at me.<br /><br />"They cannot, but they will try."<br /><br />"A euphemism", I muttered, it was clear in my mind the kind of saving these men would have in mind, echoes from history, from the old continent, drownings and burnings, saving the "souls" of the poor possessed. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Nareth</span> laughed softly.<br /><br />"Surely, yes. A euphemism. Mostly, they will seek to destroy me. We shall see.". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Nareth</span> crossed the room towards the doors and then pausing, she looked back. "I did as you bade me.", her tone accusatory, she raised her voice, "I did as you bade me. You wanted to feel...wanted. I tried...I...tried to give you that.<br /><br />"I felt wanted <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Nareth</span>", felt wanted, and yet how does the feeling of being wanted differ from the reality? I clearly lacked any power to distinguish, perhaps this deceit was beautiful after all. In knowing the deceit you embrace the cold reality that one can never truly know <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">another's</span> mind.<br /><br />"Then...I did not fail you?", There was a sudden change in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Nareth's</span> tone. She seemed almost submissive.<br /><br />"No <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nareth</span>, many things are failing me it seems, you did not fail.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Nareth</span> nodded at this, I...I have not felt like that for a long time".<br /><br />"I would...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Nareth's</span> voice trailed off. "No matter. There are three of us now. There will be more soon.". I frowned at the lost words, too many times now her mind had clamped down as her heart was speaking. There was much conflict in her, no matter how bitter she may seem it was not without spirit, there was hope for me yet. "Rest. Use the charm for the pain. I will be with you again soon. And always I am in your mind. And you are...in mine.", I smiled ruefully, they would have been such a beautiful sentiment had it not been so literally true, no deceit, just cold fact.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Nareth</span>....", I called as she turned to the door.<br /><br />"Yes, Mistress?"<br /><br />"Did you feel wanted?", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Nareth's</span> hand lingered on the door handle.<br /><br />"The question has no meaning for me...None...none, at all.". My heart sank, this aspect of her at least had no concept of love. This confirmed my fear, the anger, the violence, that had been truth, the rest all illusion, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">fakery</span>. I stared down at the carpet.<br /><br />"You may leave", I said sullenly, not looking up.<br /><br />"Thank you, Mistress. Please, rest."</p>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-83098270217415244742009-01-02T22:24:00.002+00:002009-01-02T22:36:12.344+00:00All I wantIn the late afternoon, I rose again, still I had no appetite for food but drank heavily, noting that I had not needed to avail myself of the chamber pot or toilet despite the volumes of water I had consumed. I dressed to go out and wrapping a warm scarf around my neck over my jacket I strolled for a while on the top of the palisade wall. My mind dwelt much upon my life, my former life I guess.<br /><br />There are many types of love, in my native tongue we have less ambiguity in the concept, many words, each with its own subtlety of love. Would all that be lost to me? Would there be only lust? I could feel even then a lust growing in me a burning warmth in my loins, a contrast to the "butterflies" in the stomach we associate with love. What subtleties existed in lust? But what was it that I sought in love, had not Nareth already shown to me that in at least part what I sought was represented as well by lust as by love? The answer came to me as I returned, it was a guilty selfishness, a need for that love to be reciprocal, it was not enough to love, I needed to be loved, to be needed.<br /><br />I arrived home quite tired out by such relatively minor exercise. Removing my scarf and jacket and filling my water jug, I headed to my room and laying down upon the welcoming sheets fell straight to sleep.<br /><br />I awoke as night was falling, the house was becoming dark, in my mind I saw the street lamps outside. She was awake, she was coming.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You are near me, why do you come?</span><br /><br />There is the sound of a door opening, soft footfalls on the stair<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You hurt. I would have come sooner. There has been much work to do.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You hurt me, I do not hurt by my doing alone</span><br /><br />The bedroom door opened and closed, gently.<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />I brought you pain, yes. I know. But I can also ease the pain.</span><br /><br />Nareth stood looking at me for a moment.<br /><br />"It is a small pain, dear.", I looked up acknowledging the lurking presence at the bedside. "It is only your body dying.". I stared at her, a fury burning in me like nothing I had known, she smiled seeing the look of anger on my face and turned towards the chair. "You are still strong."<br /><br />"no thanks to you,", I spat back, "why Nareth? This whole elaborate deception just to take me?". I rolled my legs off of the bed where I had lain fully clothed, and stood as boldly as I could muster.<br /><br />"I do the will of my Lady. Only rarely do I fathom her will. You need to be like me. That is all I know."<br /><br />"You think that I believe that your lady cares or even knows of me, to what end is this murder?"<br />I staggered back a little, wavering, Nareth's words hitting home, "to be like me".<br /><br />"Rest assured, my Lady *does* know your name, Mistress. A small part of her is in you now, growing. I would have taken Orchid, but you stopped me." She smiled as if there was a tiny victory in that for her. "This also suits my Lady."<br /><br />"I have been laid low, once you saw a great good in me, a burning sun. What now?", I swayed as the anger coursed through me.<br /><br />"You should lie back down, Mistress. You are not that strong. And yes, there is a great good in you, which makes this all the more remarkable.", her smile revealed her amusement it her "prize". She enjoyed the game. I snarled at her, thinking to lunge, but sensing the weakness in my legs chose instead to sit upon the mattress. "I appreciate the anger. You wear it well. It is...so fine.". Nareth sat watching me closely for a time, motionless.<br /><br />"your condescending words are not welcome Nareth."<br /><br />"Mistress...It was not intended as condescension. I am sincere. There is great beauty in anger."<br /><br />"Mistress? this pretence of servitude. You have destroyed me."<br /><br />"No. I am only remaking you. Soon, when my Lady comes, you will see the difference. She will destroy me. Nothing will remain. It will be as if I never existed. But you...", she closed he eyes for a moment, "These are only birth pains. And you *are* my Mistress.", her voice firm but oddly sweet, a longing and a despite present in her mind that I didn't fully understand.<br /><br />"yesterday I felt remorse at that, pity, that your were to be gone.".<br /><br />"And now?"<br /><br />"and now I wish ....", whether it was the tone of her voice, a calmness spreading through from her mind or something darker within my own. I could not come to see her destroyed, as the anger rose, the pity from the night before, the vulnerability I had seen prevented me from wishing to strike, I held my hand to my head and Nareth cocked her head slightly to listen.<br /><br />"What is in you, it should be spoken."<br /><br />"I wish I had never met you.", I stared at the floor, as she laughed softly.<br /><br />"If wishes were horses...beggars would ride."<br /><br />"You mock me in my confusion"<br /><br />"Please, mistress. Lie down. The pain will ease. I will help."<br /><br />"is this what you came here for?"<br /><br />"You mean...today, or in general?", she replied obliquely. I ignored the question, looking down at the pillows, contemplating rest, a respite from this torment. I won't lie. Your suffering is beautiful to me. As is your anger at the...betrayal, as you name it. But I opened no doors you did not leave unlocked".<br /><br />"won't lie, can't lie, all lies, damn it, everything is a game to you."<br /><br />"Yes. The dice are rolling."<br /><br />I stood once more, throwing more energy into moving, striding purposefully, the few paces to her chair, Nareth's watched me, unmoving.<br /><br />"Perhaps, if you loosened your corset you would breathe easier?", the suggestion conjured simple carnal images of desire. I reached out grabbing her firmly by the shoulders with all the aggression I could muster, she did not flinch, there was resistance.<br /><br />"YOU have done this to me, can you not see it is at an end!", I screamed in her face.<br /><br />"Do you wish to hurt me now?", she smiled up at me.<br /><br />"I would hurt you, but..ARGH", I snarled, pausing, understanding the smiles.<br /><br />"But?"<br /><br />"It is what you want, everything, anything, it is all for you", I groaned. Nareth looked towards the window.<br /><br />"No. It is all for the glory of my Lady.", she turned back looking at me once again as my legs buckled and I sat on the floor in front of the chair, almost as I had those few day before with Orchid. Nareth leant forward and started to knead my shoulders. A deliberate echo of Orchid, mocking me once again? It was too late now I was past caring, I was lost at sea and she controlled the very waves and currents that surrounded me.<br /><br />"It is only pain, Mistress."<br /><br />"Only pain, only sensation."<br /><br />"Yes."<br /><br />"Soon, you will understand more completely.", She pressed her thumbs at the base of my neck and as I relaxed,tension leaving my body I arched my head back to look at the ceiling. "You have spoken with Orchid."<br /><br />"I have....and I was weak"<br /><br />"Weak. Tell me..."<br /><br />"I thought to drive her from me, to save her from your tricks. But I could not."<br /><br />"No. I have seen to that."<br /><br />"I do not think she would have gone even if I had tried."<br /><br />"I spoke with her and Mr. Wirefly. You may know this.", I breathed deeply as I felt Nareth's hands working."<br /><br />"I know some yes. I know of your deceit, your attempt to take her too."<br /><br />"Of course, I know that they mean to try to save you, and hope to find a means to destroy me. To take her...it was a fair offer."<br /><br />"and of the deceit within that too"<br /><br />"I was only proving a point. Oh, Mistress...this could be so much simpler. I wish you to see the joy."<br /><br />"They will find a way. They must, I am not you, I cannot be like you". At this Nareth rubbed a little harder.<br /><br />"They will try. It is not inconceivable that they will succeed.", I shuffled slightly at a discomfort at my hips. "But...my Lady will still triumph.". The jabbing at my hips continued and I reached down, clipping the offending buckle on my skirt, slipping it free and discarding it to one side. I looked back over my shoulder and Nareth smiled softly.<br /><br />"Mistress, you must see, I am not like Moriarty. I am not some villain from a dime novel. My Lady has devoured worlds."<br /><br />"And yet you expect me to believe that she knows of me?"<br /><br />"Yes. All things may pass within her gaze, both great and small, if they serve her ends."<br /><br />I leant back against Nareth's legs and she spread her knees slightly letting me settle against the chair.<br /><br />"I would soothe you. If you would allow me.", my eyelids were starting to feel heavy, as the pain was lost in in the emotions that bubbled inside me. I nodded slightly, "Thank you, Mistress" and with that my mind was filled with a soothing darkness."Now, try to relax. Ride the pain.". I let my shoulders drop further, pushing back against her hands, and the cushion of the chair. "Tell me...what do you feel, physically?"<br /><br />"tiredness, weakness", I murmured.<br /><br />"Yes...that is how it begins. In my mind the darkness became speckled with millions of stars, cold white points of light that grew very slowly brighter. "Concentrate on the stars, Mistress.". I closed my eyes. Nareth leant forward, sniffing my hair, then kissing me lightly on the top of the head. I gave a slight sigh. "These two things..light and darkness. The void, and that which is not of the void. But Void is our mother. She cradles us all. And we go back to her."<br /><br />Nareth continued massaging with her left hand, working the knots of muscle delicately, but raised her right to the side of my face, the gloves on Nareth's hand helped dampen her cold touch. I smiled at the sensation of touch along my cheek, my heart beat faster.<br /><br />"Watch the stars...", then One by one, the stars grew bright, flaring and burning, then flickering out. "No fear. This is only the Nature of all Things. We need never fear again."<br /><br />"no fear...", I echoed softly.<br /><br />"There has been so much fear in your life. I am taking all that away.". In my mind the last stars blinked out, only perfect darkness remained. She slipped a finger across my lips and I bit gently, playfully at it. Nareth laughed softly. "yes, Soon, Mistress, you will have such fine, strong teeth."<br /><br />I arched my back looking up into Nareth's face briefly, stretching out my legs, through her goggles Nareth stared down at me. "Such beauty.", she sighed, slipping off her goggles, feeling safe in the deep darkness of the night, "You will be even more terrible than am I. You will shine.".<br /><br />"shine like the sun", I murmured contentedly.<br /><br />Nareth stopped massaging long enough to remove her gloves.<br /><br />"Yes...brighter than the sun.", I started at the chill touch, then, adjusting to its soothing coolness, relaxed once again. "They will all stand amazed at the sight of you.". I reached down pulling at the laces and kicking off my boots, working my toes into the pile of the carpet, in mimicry of the kneading of Nareth's fingers and the waves of exhilaration that coursed through my body. Nareth sniffed at the air, flaring her nostrils slightly. "Tell me what to do, Mistress. Guide me.". I knew immediately, I had recognised it that very afternoon, the void, the need.".<br /><br />"Hold me Nareth, make me feel wanted.", I shifted position, lifting myself from the floor and settling into the chair next to Nareth.<br /><br />"Oh, that is a simple thing. For only one thing in the Cosmos is more desired by me than are you.", came the reply and my heart and mind were as one.<br /><br />Nareth slipped her arms around me, holding me tight, but without hurting me. The coldness of her touch even through her clothing a contrast to the heat that raged inside me now. I lay back against her, letting her hands move easily across me. Her head dipped down to my ear, whispering<br /><br />"Beautiful...". She slipped her hand toward the cleft between my thighs. "Exquisite."<br /><br />"We are beauty", I stuttered, flinching slightly, at the coldness of the approaching hand, then lifted my right leg slightly , parting my thighs, and draping my leg over the arm of the chair. Opening up, yielding.<br /><br />"Yes. WE are. In a world of ugliness, we shine.", I felt Nareth grind her teeth slightly, looking down across my body. "Then I may enter?". I leant back, pushing my head against Nareth's shoulder raising my face.<br /><br />"yesss", a sigh, a pleading. Nareth smiled and slipped a finger past my undergarments, and over the secret folds of my motte.<br /><br />"Oh, I am so filled with echoes of longing." sighed Nareth and then gently, stroking my pubic hair for a moment, she began working her finger inside. I shuddered, a short moan issuing from my mouth, turning my face in towards Nareth. "Cold..yes? But it will not last. Savour that cold while you can feel it.". I writhed slightly at the insertion, clenching muscles around the finger as Nareth slid it deeper, then withdrawing it slowly pressing against my clitoris.<br /><br />"This is the passion of the Daughters of Lilith.", she whispered, "This is the beginning.", I convulsed as the sensation sent sparks through me.<br /><br />"yes Nareth", and the she hesitated as I pressed my lips against the cold skin of her beautiful neck.<br /><br />"Would you see me, in this moment, destroyed?", I stopped, looking up at Nareth, shocked at the sudden cessation, shaking my head, then suddenly Nareth returns working her finger in very deep. I gasp, my heart pounds, I hold that breath releasing it in shudders of ecstasy.<br /><br />"You are so very thirsty. Water does not help.", Nareth works her finger steadily in and out. I kissed Nareth's neck, working around her throat, across her body until my tongue found the wound. Sensing my intent, Nareth turned her head to the right, easing my access, opening the seething punctures. My mind was awash with blood, the images drove a hunger and desire, no fear. "Drink as deeply and as long as you wish.".<br /><br />I lay back across Nareth's lap, across her breasts, resting my head against the opposite shoulder now, my tongue probing the incisions, lapping at the dark red stream oozing forth.<br /><br />"I am your fountain.", Nareth's voice a whisper, a note of excitement and anticipation. She closes her eyes, gasping as she feels herself flowing in to me. A second finger slides in between my legs as I pull her closer, pressing my lips against the wound sucking, working at the edges with my tongue. My body tenses the ecstasy of feeding courses through my veins.<br /><br />"Bite, if you so desire. Bite as hard as ever you may."<br /><br />I shook my head, and mouthed "not yet".<br /><br />Nareth's voice now seemed less like a voice, and more like strands of music and light swirling about them, elements of an orchestra rising to crescendo.<br /><br />"Very well. Not until you are ready.", I let go with my left hand reaching to my throat or unbutton the high collar, exposing the flash of my throat. Nareth watched my fingers work. "You give yourself to me?"<br /><br />"you took me", I breathed the words, ragged, hurried, "but now I come" and Nareth began working her fingers more rapidly, in and out....My breathing became ever more shallow and rapid, I shivered with every pulse of my heart.<br /><br />Without another word, Nareth leant forward and sank her fangs deeply into my throat, finding my jugular. Hot blood, my blood sent gushing into Nareth. Nareth's teeth gripped furiously, and a growl rose from her throat as I shrieked at the pain; but the ecstasy rising within me, keeps me from struggling, my nipples stood hard and erect against the lace of my blouse. As I arched and writhed in the exquisite thrall of simultaneous pleasure and pain there was a struggle in Nareth's projected mind and I felt her fighting her own hunger; a desire to feed deeply on this sweet sweet blood with a greed that would destroy me. Her free hand rose tracing my ribs and cupping my right breast. I begin to feel light headed.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"The blood-dimmed tide..."</span>, her voice in my mind<br /><br />Nareth growled loudly, withdrawing her teeth.<br /><br />"Enough", she muttered, blood oozing from her mouth. "You are not yet strong.", Nareth's fingers lingered on the button of my clitoris, a surge of sensation passed up from my groin and I felt Nareth's body warming, the heat of my blood.<br />"Oh, I wish..I wish I could show you now...what you will see so very soon.", she sighs as I lifts my arm behind Nareth's head, pulling her down to kiss her. "The joy...it is all so joyous.". She accepts the kiss, the blood in her mouth leaking into mine. I tasted then the warmth of my own blood as my tongue sought into Nareth's mouth, my eyes closed I could see my face through Nareth's eyes, I feel her own excitement, the beauty of her perception, and I feel both sides of the touch and slick wetness as Nareth's fingers work harder, faster, driving me towards orgasm. I kiss harder, my breath quickens to a ragged frenzy as I feel the passion rising in me. Nareth's tongue brushes the roof of my mouth, and it is so rough, that tongue, that draws more blood.<br /><br />I tensed as my body reached the zenith of its pleasure, wave after wave of shimmering elation cascading through my every fibre. Nareth closed her eyes, pulling free of the kiss, and as she sensed my climax, she sliced the inside of my vagina with a fingernail.<br /><br />"Ride the pain.", she whispered in my ear. I shuddered and yelped, "Yes...Now...show me your delight." and Nareth worked her finger faster...I threw back my head groaning and crying with the sensations that held me now in rapture. Nareth licks the drying blood from her own lips, smiling at the sounds coming from her Mistress, whispering, "The sun...and you are brighter.". I pull at Nareth's hair as surge after ecstatic surge passes through me, Nareth does not resist, relishing the pain. "Delight...It comes into your world." and Nareth withdraws her wet fingers...as I rise, my back arched is a final crescendo and I cradle Nareth's head in her arms, holding it to my chest.<br /><br />Looking up Nareth licks lightly at my face, cleaning away drips of blood.<br /><br />"You are wanted. You shall always be wanted.". I nodded as Nareth now cradled me...waiting for the orgasm to subside, and as I lay panting, my breath recovering, Nareth whispers, "It is good you drank. It will ease your pain. And speed the transformation."<br /><br />"I am refreshed", I smile, my breath still coming in shudders and we both laugh.<br /><br />"Yes. But, still, you should rest.". I smiled, licking my lips clean. "May I help you to the bed?"<br /><br />"Sleep, seems like a good idea", I reply, "I'll be OK" and I untangle myself from Nareth and the chair, and stand up. Nareth nods.<br /><br />"I am strong in you. You have strength from me.", Nareth turns and goes to the window. "Lie down, Mistress. You are light headed."<br /><br />"are you staying?", I ask.<br /><br />"I will, if you wish.".<br /><br />"I would sleep, I do not command you to stay"<br /><br />"It would be...fine..joyous...to see you sleep. To go down to sleep near you.". We lay on the bed facing one another and Nareth stared into my eyes.<br /><br />"Would that my demon had been half so careful with me.", she smiled. I stared back at her.<br /><br />"I am glad it was you Nareth", Nareth hesitated a moment, then whispered, "There is something I would show you, that you might better understand me. What I am. But not if you are too weary.", and then she senses in my drooping eyes that I am nearing sleep. Nareth closes her eyes. She does not sigh, but her face looks like someone sighing with great relief.<br /><br />"Sleep, Mistress. Sleep and grow stronger.", she mutters as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep. The deep restful sleep of the contented and fulfilled.<br />Seeing this Nareth leant forward, and kissed my eyelids. "Sleep...I will watch over you."Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-73193730355170051322009-01-01T00:34:00.003+00:002009-01-01T01:05:40.560+00:00Death is a lonely business<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">The human body does not die quickly from the vampires poisonous infection. The cold parasitic blood invades the carriers own arterial system, spreading it toxins throughout the corpse. The sanguinary dysfunction leads to the decay of the primary organs for supporting life, within hours the effects start with minor respiratory affectations, rapid breathing and shortness of breath, an incredible thirst and peculiarly a lack of urine production. Left to its own devices the body will gradually atrophy, stagnate, and decay, individual organs failing at their own rates leaving their roles unserviced until finally, the pump, the heart, will fail, the only question is whether the brain has been poisoned with toxins before this. It is neither painless nor rapid and until ones eyesight begins to fail the victim can but watch the ravages of the disease as it is reflected in the skin, which pales, discolours with jaundice and a rash of lentigines more commonly associated with the ravages of age or alcohol.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">This is the death that awaited me now, but I get ahead of myself. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">That first night, through the exhaustion, brought on by the terror and exertions of the act of violation, yielded sleep; though it was a sleep dominated by dark and fearful overtures in my mind. It was not until the morning that the emotional trauma and fear subsided and the tears came. The terror of the moment, the fear of the future, the shame of the violation, the thoughts of what has passed and what is still to come possesses one, crushing the will to go on, but of course that choice, the choice of dying has now been removed. I lay in my bed, a dark coldness in my stomach feeling every bit as dirty and desecrated as the young child I had once been had felt in the early days of incarceration. Back then I went to the safe place in my mind, shutting out the physical world, keeping the Self secure. But now even my mind had been assaulted, there was no place left inviolate, nowhere to hide the desecration complete.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I ran a bath as hot as I could bear. I have no recollection of how long I had sat there, staring, crying, scrubbing but it was here that Orchid found me.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq? Beq where are you...", hearing the sobs and the splashing of water Orchid tentatively opened the bathroom door, peering into the steam filled room."Beq?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I looked up, my eyes red and puffy from crying.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Orchid?", I sobbed, wiping my eyes as if to cover the evidence of my anguish. She steeped into the room, not able to meet my gaze directly, biting her lip nervously[6:38] Orchid McMillan bites her lip.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">" Beq...what.. I ...Nareth, she..", Orchid stumbled and sputtered, "Beq, I know.". She squeezed her arms around herself, eyes fixated on the floor</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Then leave me, you know what I am, what I will become", I lifted a hand to the back of my neck, to touch the scratches there and pulled it away, puzzled to find that they were not there.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"No! You know I won't do that Beq."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I know,", I sighed</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I, I honestly have no idea what is happening... how all of this works. Nareth asked Rip and I to hide you both."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That is the problem. I know you will not leave me and I'm scared, you must not trust me now. Not trust us, She took me, trapped me, I am so stupid."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I may keep one eye over my shoulder, but I can not let the Beq I know go, not until I know she is gone forever and no, Beq. She is too strong, too sly. Do not blame yourself."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Orchid", I stopped her, my eyes staring at her.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Yes?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I..I am dying, did she tell you that?". Orchid nodded, glancing at the wall, unable to look at me.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"But then... what does that really mean? She has died, yet she is here. I do not understand all of this. She's asked if we would hide you two, from prying eyes. She made it sound as if there was more of a danger, that if I want to keep hope, we must hide you and keep you safe. You both have been welcomed into our home...". She covered her face with her hand. "Beq, have I made the wrong choice?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would have you abandon me, but I know that you would not."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You are right, I would not. I made every decision last night based on what I thought may bring the best outcome for you, Beq.."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"but she, she has lied, deceived and corrupted me....I do not even know that the bargain I have to save you both stands now. I fear that she will use me, use me to take you because she cannot have you herself."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"She tricked me last night...", I looked up in horror, what had Nareth done? "she made me an offer, to be hers fully for one day and night, in return for releasing you. I almost accepted Beq, I really almost did. After I denied her, she laughed, she had never meant it.". I stared down into the water and sighed.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It is as I feared. She will twist us."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You can only imagine what Rip's reaction was as I stumbled to deny her.". I looked up, my eyes full of tears and sorrow.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Orchid, I am so sorry, I have brought all of this upon you, you would have been better to have never known me.". Orchid knelt down beside the tub.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Don't you ever say that Beq, I cannot imagine my life in Babbage without ever having known you.", I wept openly at her words.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"thank you Orchid, you are far more than I deserve, you both are."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You know we will not give up on you Beq, so please, do not give up on yourself.". I wiped my face, washing the tears away and tried to force a smile. Orchid laughed slightly, </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You needn't force a smile when all you feel are tears."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I will be as strong as I can."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That is all I ask", Orchid smiled and I smiled back.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"See it is working already"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You are my best friend Beq. You are the only one I trust as much as Rip.". I looked up awkwardly, aware that the water was cooling.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"would you pass me the towel please?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">" Yes, of course..", Orchid grabbed a towel from the towel rail and handed it to me, turning so her gaze wandered from the tub. "I'll wait in the bedroom.". I stood up, letting the water drop from my body before quickly drying myself and wrapping the towel around me and walking back in to the bedroom where Orchid was waiting. "We're going to get through this, okay?". She smiled weakly. I stood for a moment,watching Orchid.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I'm so scared", I admitted.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I can only imagine Beq, I can really only imagine. I hope it gives you even the tiniest bit of solace knowing that we are here for you."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"For weeks now I've lived with the certain knowledge that I might die any day. Now it seems that was all a lie, a deception, those events have passed. The disaster averted, perhaps because She was here, because I commanded it but now the choice is undone, there was no final reckoning, I remain bound to her, and she has violated me. There will be no death, no sacrifice to the world's safety, The price went up, I will not receive my final reckoning now there is eternity."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Orchid shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around it all</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I will never again know love, for there is no feeling, only memory, I will fade, this body will die", Orchid blinked away tears that welled up in her eyes. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I can't let that happen to you...There must be a way.". I stepped forward, hugging Orchid close to me, I smiled as Orchid returned the hug tightly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Listen,in but a few days, I will no longer be able to do that. Not safely". Orchid nodded sadly, her head on my shoulder. I held her, feeling her closeness, holding on to the memory.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Then now, Beq, while you understand love, I must share something with you. I-I know it isn't what you would've liked, but, it is at least, happier news than all of this...". I released Orchid from my hug and looked into her eyes</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"happier?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Rip, he's asked me to marry him, Beq."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Oh Orchid, why do you say it is not what I would want for you. I can think of nothing better. My feelings for you, they should never have been shown."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Well, because I can only imagine the pain of loving one that does not return the same love, that is all.", she looked saddened at what should have been such a happy moment. She was afraid of hurting me. It brought tears to my eyes.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"come here", I hugged her again, crying. This time with happiness for us, we had got through this, our friendship had survived. Orchid wrapped her arms around me, holding her tightly to herself.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would never have wanted to hurt either of you. This is such lovely news, you are going to say yes aren't you?" Orchid laughed, as she rubbed her sleeve across her eyes, wiping way her tears.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Of course! I already have.". I smiled taking Orchids hands in mine and squeezing them, tightly. I realised then how cold my hands felt. Orchid squeezed back looking nervously down at my hands. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Maybe you should get dressed, you're chilled..". I walked over to the wardrobe and put on some underwear, selecting something plain, comforting. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I feel so dirty still.", I said, turning to smile slightly, Orchid nodded solemnly. "There is a pit of cold in me, my body fights it, I try to ...". I closed my eyes. "I force my self to be sick. It will not move.". Orchid looked back and urged me to keep on fighting, I sighed and shivered. "I will Orchid, I have to."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I cannot tell you how glad I am to hear you say that.", she smiled.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Who's going to be your maid of honour if I don't make it eh?", Orchid laughed and shaking her head</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I don't know...I guess that means you just have to.". </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I moved to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Orchid,",she moved closer at my beckon, "I had thought of how I was to have this meeting. I thought to drive you away, to tell you how much I hated you to show you the monster inside me. I was too weak."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"No Beq. I see that as strength."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Facing this head on? That takes courage."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Is it? is it not selfish? That hurt, hurt for us all would pass, in time you would forget me, you, Rip, the children", I grinned as best I were able, "I am asking you to risk all that, that is not fair."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Let me ask you this, Beq...If the tables were turned, and I were in your place, would you abandon me? Would you wish for me to run you out of here?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You could try, I'd never accept that. I see that now.", I yawned.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Perhaps I should let you rest, I imagine you haven't had much since, well, in a while."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"no, I need to sleep, I get tired so quickly it seems. I'm sorry. Thank you for coming to see me, it was brave and selfless.". Orchid moved towards the bed, reaching out to rest her hand against Beq's arm. "I will not give up, you must not forget that. Rest well Beq, I'll be checking in on you again soon.". I looked up at Orchid and reached out for a hug, resting her face against Orchid's chest, listening to the warm beat of her heart. Good bye Orchid. I will see you later I promise". Orchid McMillan wrapped her arms around me again,holding me or a moment. Then she left. I watched her leave, the future Mrs Wirefly, I smiled, the door closed and I was alone once more.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I did not sleep immediately, my throat was dry, and so I poured myself a glass of water from the jug by the bed. Before I realised it the jug was empty, the insatiable thirst had found me. I fell asleep and my dreams filled with blood.</p>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-70467729030716795312008-12-29T23:26:00.003+00:002008-12-30T01:28:43.079+00:00The Kiss<style type="text/css"> <!-- @page { size: 21cm 29.7cm; margin: 2cm } PRE.western { font-family: "DejaVu LGC Sans Mono", monospace } PRE.cjk { font-family: "DejaVu LGC Sans Mono", monospace; font-size: 12pt } PRE.ctl { font-family: "DejaVu LGC Sans Mono", monospace } P { margin-bottom: 0.21cm } --> </style> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"Mistress....."</b></i>, in my mind I can see my home, viewed as if from the direction of the port. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nareth's</span> voice in my head.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"You are near"</b></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style=""> I project back.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"Very. We have to talk, and we have to talk soon."</b></i></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"OK <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Nareth</span>, I will make a polite excuse"</b></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="">, there is a pause, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Nareth</span> is searching for something.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Jedburgh</span>. My mind is racing, and there are too many images. I am become confused."</b></i>. I smiled to myself, she was prying into my mind and could not divine my emotions. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"If I must leave her now, after a pleasant evening. I cannot simply walk away."</b></i></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><i><b>"Do what you must do, Mistress. I serve you.</b></i>"</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> I bid good night to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Jedburgh</span>,and without a thought for the night time and the cold air, left by the front door and headed to where I had seen the view of my house.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Mistress..."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Nareth</span>..."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You were occupied.", I flinched at the prying, and changed the subject as I sought my response.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Would you prefer somewhere less public?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It would be best, yes."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I was occupied, yes. my mind may no longer be my own, but my life is. We should go to the lab. We are less likely to be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">interrupted</span>"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Very well.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Nareth</span> lead the way, we walked in silence, both mentally and verbally. There was a new tension in her mind, things had changed, she had changed.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">As we entered the lab and climbed to the loft, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Nareth</span> relaxed noticeably. I rubbed my arms to warm up, the meagre heat from the stove downstairs did little to heat the loft.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Curse this cold weather, I really should have brought a proper coat out with me.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Nareth</span> rubbed her fingers over the lid of the coffin.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"We have much to talk of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Nareth</span>."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Yes", she replied and raising a hand, the loft door closed at her gesture. "Are you pleased? Have I served you well?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You have gone beyond our intention. He is gone."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Have I then?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"you have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Nareth</span>"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"And how is that?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"The choice you gave me. It was couched in the terms of two events that I felt at least were to coincide. The destruction of Moriarty, or his removal as a threat, and the distraction of your lady to prevent the destruction of this world. Though she did not come, is she still a threat?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That was not an element of our bargain. My Lady lies beyond my servitude to you. Moriarty is not presently a threat and, in the bargain, the Cuckoos are gone. How have I gone farther than was your intention?". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Nareth</span> stared down at the coffin.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You misread my thoughts, I am very pleased with the results of your service <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Nareth</span>."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You vex me, Mistress. My mind..is...thrown down...Speak...as plainly as you may."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Nareth</span>, the return of the twins, was always your choice, it served my purpose also."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"They did not wish to be here."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Moriarty, has been vanquished"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Moriarty...Jason...Jason...is broken now."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"He was always broken <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Nareth</span>, dysfunctional. Eliot made him so."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I do not mean that he his insane. I mean, Mistress, that now he is broken. The pieces will not soon reassemble. He is shattered."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"But he lives? May I sit?", I indicated to the sofa, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Nareth</span> distractedly caressed the coffin lid, and without looking up signalled me to sit.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I did not kill him.", she turned towards me. "He may still live, in some form.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Nareth</span> smiled softly at me.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"So you have achieved what I wanted and the return of the twins an added bonus"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"So, you are pleased?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Of course I am."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"As is my Lady."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"However, we have a problem do we not?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That is dependent upon your definition of "we". I have a problem. My appearance now, will not pass for human, and people saw things. I almost destroyed them all, to hide the truth. But...you would have been displeased.". I thought of my friends and neighbours, how could she even contemplate such loss?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would. You fear them. They will fear you.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Nareth</span> took out a bit of ribbon and tied her hair back.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I do not fear them...I need have no fear of them. They can only destroy me."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"and that holds no meaning for you?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"No. Even that would serve my Lady.", She paused, looking at the coffin once again,"Mistress...there are things I must say...You are aware that my honesty in our bargain was...compromised? That I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">withheld</span> facts?". I looked down at the floor, fearful of what other condition I had missed, what further consequence of my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Faustian</span> pact was about to be revealed. "You know this, yes?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"yes, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Nareth</span>"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes. My Lady cannot lose. My Lady will always win. All ends suit her needs.The dice are still rolling. I can try to speak more plainly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Those dice <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Nareth</span>, they are weighted against me?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“They are weighted against no one and nothing. You cannot weight chance. You cannot weight chaos.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“If all ends suit her needs then why <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">withhold</span> facts, you play with me, with my life, my friends, my .. loves.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I serve my Lady, even as I serve you. I act as she bids me act.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Nareth</span>.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Beq</span>.”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Nareth</span> laughed very softly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“In our bargain, at then end when she arrived she would decide my fate.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She decides the fate of all.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Neither you nor I can dissolve this bond.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No. It will last for all time. But..I have served well. Yes?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You have, except for the deception”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Deception...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Nareth</span> looked hurt</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Too strong a term. I'm sorry”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No. I did act to deceive. It is what I am.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“What you allowed between <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Orchid</span> and I, hurts still, though I am sure it pleases your lady.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“What I allowed? You are puppet?”. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Nareth</span> turned, smiling.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No, and yet I am human.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You wished me to intercede? Stop your passions?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You play with me, those passions lay buried.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No. They...are still in you. They are strong. But...I will not touch the Orchid. Nor must you. Unless it is your wish?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“They are, but they are not returned, those passions must remain untouched.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Does that not anger you? To be so denied? To be seen as...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Nareth</span> smiles.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No, I have denied them for many years, not for Orchid alone.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Not for Orchid alone, no.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<i><b>..alone, no.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Nareth</span> glanced down at the floorboards.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I vowed never to let another into my heart <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Nareth</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Talem</span> was the only one. But the heart does not accede to such requests, and so I bury those desires deep, I am well practised, I was..”, I trailed off</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Talem</span>...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Nareth</span> whispered.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“My first, my truest love.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes. I see that now...”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<i><b>..see that now.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “Mistress, will you suffer me to come nearer?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You may come <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Nareth</span>”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Nareth</span> nodded moving closer, bringing her face near to mine.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Please, look into my eyes...and look deeply. I must know something.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<i><b>must know something”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> I looked up, lifting her goggles clear from her face I met her gaze, being drawn deep into the rich black eyes.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Is there anything left of her? Anything at all, left of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Nareth</span> inside me?”</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>I try to find her.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “You are there, but I cannot tell how much. it is different now.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You...I...you mean...I am here?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<i><b>I am here?”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “Yes, but also no, I am confounding this with vagaries.”, at this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Nareth</span> looked extremely confused and suddenly vulnerable.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Then do not be vague.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You were there before, a presence in her mind, separate, perhaps trapped; a distinct will.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“There is a secret I must tell you...though I do not know why I...A secret...”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“If you will, though I do not ask of it”. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nareth</span> nodded slowly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She had strong feelings...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Nareth's</span> face slackened, “strong feelings..for you.”. I sighed deeply, shaking my head slowly in wonder. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Nareth</span> stared down at the floor. “You did not know this?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No, never. She was always ... remote”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes...she was...she..was...a person unto herself. But...I am filled with echoes of her. They clang and they clamour within me. I would crush them...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Nareth</span> sniffed at the air.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Crush them... bury them.”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Nareth</span> nodded slowly, watching me.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“The rift that Moriarty opened, I closed. It robbed me of the last traces of my mortality.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“We are the same, we hide”, I mused, half to myself, whether this was the thought that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Nareth</span> hoped to insert in my mind or not is unclear, but she ignored my words. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“But...I have done it. But...the rift is still there. All one needs is the knowledge, to open it. My Lady will come soon.”, she looked up at me, her large eyes meeting mine solemnly, “She will not come as a storm, but as a mild breeze, and she will stand where I stand, and all I ever have been will be no longer. These things are true, and I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">withhold</span> no part of it.”. There was something almost like sorrow on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">Nareth's</span> face, or the memory of sorrow. I stared back at the face before me, a great sadness in my mind. “Professor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Nishi</span> would have sealed the rift.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“and she still can, that part of her the still survives.”, my voice almost pleading, betraying my desire to see the real professor once again. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Nareth</span> turned back towards the casket.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It is a small, small boat, lost at sea, Mistress, at best...”</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>...at best.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “I fear it is dissolved within that sea, for I no longer sense it as a whole, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Nareth</span>”, listening, she nodded very slowly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Nothing I do will contravene the will of my Lady. It is not possible.”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Her will.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Is all..and yet...what is this I feel...?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“and all ends are to her pleasing”, I added, mimicking her words. A tension grew within <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Nareth</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">anxiety</span>, impatience.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She is all ends. The dice are still rolling but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Nareth</span>, I see it in you, you do not want her to come. You love this world, this place too much.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">Nareth</span>...You tell me she is dissolved.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“like salt in the sea.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She did so love the sea...I do not love. I remember love.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Is there a way back?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“A way..back? To...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Nareth</span>?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Perhaps, yes. Can we reclaim her?”. My enthusiasm had drawn her attention back. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Nareth</span> stared intently at me for a moment.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“May I touch your hair, Mistress? I only mean...to touch...”, I gazed into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Nareth's</span> eyes, trying to sense her intentions, her desires, my mind echoed a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">curiosity</span>. “..to feel...”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You may”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">Nareth</span> nodded recognition of the permit.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You are..kind...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">Nareth</span> lay a hand on top of my head, working her fingers into my hair. I closed my eyes, and swallowing at the build up of saliva, allowed myself to relax under her touch. The touch was delicate and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Nareth's</span> fingers continued until they reached my scalp, where the cold of her hand caused an icy a shiver to pass down my spine.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Beautiful. She dreamt.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">Nareth</span>?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Nareth</span>.”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">Nareth's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">hand withdrew</span> for a moment, then returned, her fingertips brushing the nape of my neck, the frost flowing across my skin, the touch was alien and yet not uncomfortable, the shiver part cold, part emotion; a mixture of fear and desire stirring in me. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Mistress, I could give you everything. All time.”</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>Take what I can give you.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">Nareth</span>, I fear that cold, the ice of your touch.”. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Her hand slipped around the back of my neck. “It is only death, and you will die, regardless.. All things die. All things.”, her face was close, she was whispering, I gasped, taking a deep breath in as the touch moved across my skin.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I am no evil thing. I would have you know that. I am only indifferent.”. The sadness, loneliness in her voice echoed my inner feelings.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No, not evil”, I looked at the casket beyond her. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">Nareth's</span> nails dug into my neck, breaking the skin. I shuddered, jumping back slightly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">Nareth</span>!”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Mistress...”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You hurt me”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It is only a very small pain. It passes so quickly.”</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>Let me make you strong.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “I am strong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">Nareth</span>”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No...you are brittle as autumn leaves.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“This life, this life is strength”, a note of panic rose in my throat and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Nareth's</span> grip tightened very slightly. The shiver of cold became a wave, the fear and desire surging in equal parts, “to hold on to it takes will.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Miss Janus...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">Nareth's</span> voice had changed very, very slightly. A familiar tone. I tried to pull away.”Do not struggle. She will kill you if you struggle.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“who? who are you?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I am a ghost. Nothing more. I am salt.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span style="font-size:85%;"><span lang="en-GB"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="">Is that her, Mistress? Is that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">Nareth</span>? is that me?</span></span></span></span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<i><b><span style="font-size:85%;"><span lang="en-GB">Is that her, Mistress? Is that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_73">Nareth</span>? is that me?</span></span></b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_74">Nareth</span>, you knew me, you loved me.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I love you still.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“..but she would take what is in me, what makes me me”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“She...it...is all that remains.”, A great darkness welled up inside my mind, threatening and dominating all thought. The fear won through, though the rush of energy from my own heart served both ends.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Why would I want that?”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_75">Nareth's</span> grip had now become painful, I struggled but could not break free of her forceful hands. “This bleak desolation. You are hurting me <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_76">Nareth</span>, crushing.”, my eyes are wide and fearful. I writhe and pull trying to break free.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Only a very brief pain.”. Then <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_77">Nareth's</span> voice changed again. The Professor is gone.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Mistress...”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_78">Nareth</span> looked down at her hands and released my her grip on my throat.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_79">Nareth</span>,” I stood up backing away from her. “ <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_80">Nareth</span>, you hurt me. please stop.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes.”, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_81">Nareth</span> licked at the blood on her fingers.“You command me.”. I gingerly dabbed my hand at the wound on my neck, wet and sore to the touch, the same wet slickness as that on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_82">Nareth's</span> fingers. There is a twinge, in my stomach, a connection, an arousal, I rub my bloodied fingers together, feeling the thickness, the silky depth of my own blood.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I command you, and yet you can choose to hurt me?”, I am breathless, my heart still calming from the rush of the moment. There is no anger, not yet.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You did not command me not to..do..so.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Nareth, I do not seek eternity.”, I see her offer, I imagine my life in her stead, it is a fearful, desolate, sad image.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Whether or not you seek it, it has found you, Mistress. Eternity is nothing easily dismissed.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Nareth? What have you done?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I do...not...know...Mistress.”, her sad eyes now look back, lacking remorse. I backed away, seeking the door away to my right, with her in between, I would have to out run her. “It was not my *intent* to harm you. Command me to keep my distance.”. I stared at Nareth, but could I truly escape her? The thin light, catches upon her pale skin, her long slender neck and delicate throat. The fear, the threat, the power summoned up the desires. Nareth licked at her dry lips. To escape, to bury again that which would fill the void?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Command me..if that is what you wish. But think...Power...Freedom...Love.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Love”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Her echoes are within me.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“no”, I shook my head, but even as I did so I felt my resolve crumbling. In the back of my mind a fight was raging, fear and desire, a roiling torrent of emotions. A voice screams out for control, my voice.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“And I may satiate all your...hungers. I may appear to you as her.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“her memories, you do not know love”. I grit my teeth, the voice, my voice returns.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“If you so wish. I cannot know love. But...I know devotion. I will be devoted to you forever. When the stars are embers...”, my head is filled with imagery, lovers touching, holding hands, caressing, walking, together. close, comfortable.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It is not the illusion of love, the memory of love, it is the feeling, Nareth”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“...the feeling...”. Nareth stepped forwards. “I think you lie to yourself, Mistress. You would know this passion. You would be...free. You have not commanded me...”, and she is right, of course, she sees the doubt in me, I am torn. My head cries out against me, my heart races. “Only a very brief pain....”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I ..”, I stumble back, “No Nareth”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Then we do not have to sleep alone.”, My heart convulsed at this, an end to my emptiness, a chance to fill the void. If I could not have what I desired, should I settle for that which desired me? Was it enough to be wanted?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No”, my protestations continue.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No... It is an ambiguous statement.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I do not want this, this existence you promise”, I backed up, finding myself now cornered the door a short dash way, but the path blocked but Nareth. She stopped before me and nodded slowly, a look of hurt on he face.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Then I cannot give it to you. I was raped. I will not rape you.”, Nareth growled....a low sound reverberating. “I...no...not I...”, Nareth's face was in turmoil, I feel the pressures in my mind, Nareth was fighting, fighting herself as I did the same. I looked forlornly to the door and dropped to the floor, the energy , the fight leaving me. “It was not me...Mistress...The dice are rolling.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I lay for a moment breathless against the wall.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“There is something in your eyes. I cannot touch you against your will. So..speak true.”, the question pierced me, my mind replayed the events, her hands in my hair, the curve of her neck, the light on her skin, the touch...</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“the touch....that sensation...”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“When I have fed, I am warmer.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I see it in your dreams when you sleep, Nareth”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You see it...You will always see it. Every kill I make.”, I closed my eyes, and relived the thrill, the kill, the rush of sensation as the warmth flows in to the body, the desires and hungers burning at the moment of the kill. Beneath that the joy and wonder of torture and pain. Her life as an animal, instinctive and inhuman, yet passionate and through her eyes through her senses made something of delight, every act rendered sensual.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“The kills I have made, and those whom I have tortured.”, Nareth laughs softly. Saucy Jack...oh, he would have loved you.”. Nareth looked down at me, no cruelty in her eyes, beckoning to me, offering comfort. “You need not be alone anymore. Ever”. She reached up with a slender arm, and pulled down her long flowing hair.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“May I sit with you?”, I looked away, huddled in my confusion, waves of emotions fought for my mind, the voice of strength now a shallow cry in the howling gale of sensual experiences. “No, I may not.”, she interpretted, “very well”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“not with, Nareth, no, near”, my voice a whisper, I wanted to hold her, to be held, to feel those desires first hand, but she had assaulted me, my mind raged, she had attacked me, what else had she done to me? Nareth took two steps back, watching me as I raised my hand to my neck once again.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“You have not been infected, Mistress.”, the battle raged on, Orchid and Rip, assuring me of our friendship, assuring me that they were by my side through this.Their words comforting, buoying my resolve.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I am not alone Nareth, not truly”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No. I am here. Always. I will never leave you.”. Nareth looked up at the ceiling, then back to the crumpled form on the floor, back to me.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“The sun is setting.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I have my friends too, I lost sight of that, I felt the emptiness”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Your..friends. Yes..you do. Mr. Wirefly. Others...”. I felt stronger, the emotional currents had subsided a little and I struggled back to my feet, leaning against the wall. She watched me carefully, I looked to the ceiling as she had, and then to the door, the pale rectangular outline fading fast with the setting sun. “It would be easier...in the night.”, Nareth looked down at the blood on her fingers. “Such pleasure, you cannot imagine.”. My mind was filled with a red warmth, satisfying, sustaining warmth. “Such...desire and the...ends of those desires.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It would be the end for they would destroy me”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">It is not so simple, Mistress.”. The wound on Nareth's neck reopened, slick, dark blood oozed forth. “All things and all moments... When Nareth kissed Mina Harker...she saw you and now, echoe s of her have crossed ages...If I but gave you a taste...it would not change you. But you *would* see.”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“not change me?”, lies and deception.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No. That would require far more.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Is this another deceit Nareth?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Command me to truth.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Be truthful Nareth”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I am not seeking to deceive you. I am seeking to seduce you.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“and to draw me down?”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“There is no up, Mistress, and there is no down. I am not trying to debase you. Quite the contrary.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“To change me though, you seek to have me by your side, I fear the casket, I , do not seek this desolation.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I feel that, yes. And yes, if I had my way...that would be my wish. I do not have my way. “. I looked up into Nareth's eyes. She stared back at me, back at her Mistress, licking her lips slowly. “Only the smallest taste...”, she raised a hand to the wound in her throat and I saw the red slickness there, the holes two puncture wounds, catching what light remained. “This is the kiss of Vlad Tepes...this was my birth.”. She slipped a finger inside the wound, sending a cascade of sexual sensation through to my own mind. It was followed by dread images, fear and shock, as Vlad Tepes took Nareth.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“He forced himself upon you.”, part statement, part question. Nareth withdrew her finger, it was red and wet.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“We were trying to kill him, Beq. We hunted him. But..yes.”. Nareth held out her bloody hand and I shook my head, denying it. Defying the impulses, my lips and teeth restraining the tongue that would probe and test. “Only a small taste...and you will feel such wonder, and such awe”. I turned my head to one side, my eyes watching the finger, my face straining to keep the distance, fearful of losing the internal battle as much as any other.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Please, Mistress. This tiny gift.”, My breath now erratic, shallow and ragged, I cried out for my friends.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Orchid!, Jed!”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“They are not here. I am here.”, once more the images returned, the promises of support, Orchid, Rip, friendship.....trust....the void that needs to be filled, and loneliness, longing. “And you are free”. I stared wide-eyed and frantic around the room. I was trapped. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“free...”, a pleading, near silent whisper escapes my lips.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Free.”, Nareth took a step nearer, raising the finger, “Please...”, she dabbed her lips with it, rouging them with her own blood. “A kiss.”. I stared up at Nareth, I licked my lips with my tell-tale tongue. “What so few mortal women have ever known.”. My heart pounded in my chest, my mind screamed, I parted my lips, my breathing quick, but as I did I turned my head away fighting the urge. “Why do you fight so? Your desire is so great.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“freedom”, I whimpered.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I shall not rob you of freedom.”. I felt the closeness of Nareth's face, a cold proximity. She delved into my mind. “I would be warm for you, if I could.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It is the feeding I fear. I would not destroy my friends”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It is not necessary. We could leave this place. There are so many worlds...”, my mind was filled then with the glorious sight of the night sky, of suns, of galaxies and great constellations. I reached up and touched Nareth's hair and she cocked her head to one side, still staring into my eyes. “A kiss.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“a kiss.”, she stepped forward, putting her arms around me. The fight now lost, I gave myself up to desire, turning my face upward, I close my eyes and Nareth kisses me...</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I feel her cold lips upon my own, the tingling...I lick my lips, slowly, sucking at them, chewing them, turning away before turning back and kissing Nareth. MY lips planted firmly on hers.</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>Tell me...Tell me true.”,</b></i> Nareth's voice a whisper.</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “deceit, beautiful deceit”, I say.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes. And also truth.”</p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “<i><b>...there is now no need of words.”</b></i></p> <pre class="western"></pre><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> “...no words...”, I ran my fingers through Nareth's hair, pulling her face away, then returning to kiss her lips once more. With this Nareth gashed her own lips with her fangs, and blood flowed into my mouth. She held me tightly, I could not have moved if I had wished to, but I did not need to, did not want to. Without thinking about it I tasted the blood in my mouth, running it over my taste buds before swallowing it. I tensed, my body arched and writhed as a surge of pure ecstasy flowed through every muscle and sinew, every nerve and fibre, a wave like every orgasm I had ever had occurring simultaneously and pulling Nareth closer, squeezing her to me, I found she did not resist.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Nareth let her tongue slip past her teeth, entering my mouth, exploring. It was rough, like a cat's. I relaxed and accepted the tongue, probing around and beneath with my own. Nareth's hands rose, gripping each side of my head. She squeezed, but not in passion, there was force there, I snapped out of my reverie, opened my eyes and stared into Nareth's face, her open eyes staring back. I realised then that I could not move, and for a moment I simply hung there my lips parted, pressed against Nareth's mouth, my tongue flicking, licking at my teeth and gums. Nareth's body shudders, and a great gout of blood rises from her belly, up through her throat, flooding my mouth....her grip tightens. I gag, trying to deny the blood, it is icy cold...and it keeps coming, filling my mouth, my throat, I choke, I cannot breath, I have no choice. I swallow, drinking deep as the blood flows, and I remain locked in a vampires kiss. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">As the flow of blood subsided Nareth began to relax her hold on me. I stared back, motionless, in shock and horror. Nareth pulled her mouth away from mine, a string of blood stretching between us for a moment.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Mistress?”, she watched as I licked the blood trail hanging from my lips. “You are..beautiful and Nareth was filled with love for you. But...I am not Nareth.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“not...Nareth”, the words strike but do not register.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“And you...you made a very bad bargain.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“deceit”, the only response I have, the trauma and shock, the after thoughts careen through my mind. Nareth held me with one hand, while she wiped her mouth. “Do you feel all that I promised, because...that was no lie.”. Nareth leant forward, gently wiping my lips clean. “Mistress...”. I stared blankly back at Nareth. “It will take...days...There will be great pain, as this body dies.”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“dies...”, I echo.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“I will take all the pain that I may. I will make it easy. It was not made easy for me. I was locked in a tower....alone.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“alone”, I mouth the word. Anguish filled me, the terror of the experience overwhelmed me and dizziness came, I went limp. Nareth released me and stepped away.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“All ends serve my Lady.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I slipped to the floor, no grief, no sobbing just cold, stark emptiness.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“And she will be among us soon. You will see her beauty.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“There is no love, no love left”, Nareth watched me...</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No...no love. I would be sorry for that, if I had regret in me.”. I dropped my head into my hands but the tears would not come. “What happens next...it is not easy for me and there will be much danger.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“no love, no freedom, just deceit and danger”, my words dripped bitterness and sorrow.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Beautiful deceit and desire. And hunger. We have a name in the old texts, Beq. We are named the Daughters of Lilith.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Lilith”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Others have named us Plague. I have touched every rat in this city. You told me to.”, she looked down at me on the floor, “I should take you home...”. I nodded weakly. “You should have your own bed.”. Nareth held otu a hand to me stood up. “Follow me mistress”, Accepting the proferred hand I stood up and walked shakily to the loft ladder. Then out of the Laboratory and into the dark streets.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">The night sky was beginning to lighten, it would soon be day and Nareth looked nervously up at the rising sun. As I walked my body started to fight back, trying its best to expel the invasive blood. I stopped, doubled over by the cramps that shook my body, retching but producing nothing but small gobs of saliva and bile. I straightened up. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“It will do no good. Your body will reject the blood, but it will not be able to expel it. Quickly now, we should get out of the day light”.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I paused at the door and Nareth walked straight in, no invitation required. She looked back at me and grinned.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“No need now. Come along”, She guided me to my bedroom. “Now...Mistress. I will go to Mr. Wirefly. He will try desperately to save you, as will many others. They will try to destroy me. The dice are still rolling. All outcomes suit my Lady's needs. You should lie down, Mistress. You do not look well.”. Nareth stood watching me for a moment. “Tell me, please...did you truly not see this coming, once you realized your initial error? It was a sloppy bargain.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“you trapped me”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes. But...I do so truly desire you. It is as near we can come to love”. Nareth glanced about the room.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Sleep now, and dream of me. I have work to do.”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“desire. It is what we have now”</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">“Yes.”. She leant forward and kissed my forehead. I wearily reached out a hand to touch Nareth. “Sleep. Rest. You will need it.” Nareth turned to leave the room and pauses to draw a sign in the air above the threshold....</p>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-78408100189151540502008-12-29T16:56:00.006+00:002008-12-29T23:04:22.919+00:00Last DanceI suffered with the cold shock of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nareth's</span> tussle with the portal for some hours after my return, sleeping fitfully. I shivered, a cold, chill fever if such thing could possibly exist, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">possessed</span> my body while in my mind events circled around me like dreams, nightmares. Fragmentary comments from disparate times and places, coalescing as a whole, a singular stream :-<br /><br />I am cold, the darkness surrounds me, I stutter, my voice frozen, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Nareth</span>, the cold it is inside me", then <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Nareth's</span> voice is in my head loud and close, "It is the Void" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">then</span> someone is there, a large dominating shadow standing over me. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Beq</span>, you have a void in your heart that needs filling but Orchid is not the one. I am sorry..sorry...sorry", Rips words echo <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">through</span> the caverns of my dreams. Then the darkness shifts and moves and as it moves it forms as a mist into a shape, I see the shape and it becomes human, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Talem</span>, she laughs, tossing her dark curls around her shoulders, a gun shot rings out, and blood, blood spreads through the darkness, I scream. "Tali!", she fades, flickers and is gone. The void fills the space where she had been.<br />For a while I lay watching the void, then it shifts again, reforming, a shifting sequence of friends, of feelings suppressed and evaded, buried and untouched, unknown and unrequited Eloise, Anabella, Lizzy, Orchid, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Jedburgh</span>, the Professor, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Misi</span>, the cycle plays over faster and faster each image vivid and real but fleeting, a memory held momentarily, then fading to darkness only to return in a new from, to be replaced, the cycle gains speed, flickering, dissolving, reforming blurring the memories into one. The darkness moves around the shapes, encroaches, consumes. The flood of memories halts, a single moment suspended before me, Orchid, but not Orchid, standing in my home, smiling. Her lips move she speaks and her voice echoes with the voices of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Nareth</span> and Rip, and of me.<br />"It is the Void"<br />".....inside me"<br />"void in your heart"<br />".....in your heart"<br />".....needs filling....not the one"<br />Orchid licks her lips, her necks bleeds from an open wound, "...feel your appetite, Mistress....offer you the means...satiate...", now Orchid fades, dissolves and reforms, the void takes a new form; and that form, the pale beauty of Sang Li/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Nareth</span> is all that remains.<br />"I belong to you...to you...to you.<br /><br />I awake, the images hang there, oppressive, as a storm cloud in my vision. I shiver. There is such cold still. I return back to sleep, and the visions come again....<br /><br />I eventually rose mid-morning and dressing warmly went to the bakery for elevenses. I saw few people on the streets, the world had been saved and few had noticed it seemed. This fact alone made me smile some. The tea and pastries were, as ever, delightful and I left <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Myrtil</span> an extra large tip. Whatever the portent of my dreams, however I must resolve the turmoil inside me, today I would enjoy myself, whether <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Nareth</span> wished to be part of it or not. Miss Red <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Llewelyn</span> was having her first party and I was not going to miss it. She had retained the services of Rip and Orchid for entertainment with their fire show and after there was to be dancing, drinking and merriment.<br /><br />I spent the afternoon selecting an outfit and appropriate jewelery and arrived at the party in time for the entertainment. The early evening event passed in spectacular style, the recent snows had allowed the construction, of ice forts and children and adults alike fought with snow balls until the light failed. Those of us remaining moved to the dance floor or the bar. I sat at the side trying not to be seen to be watching as Rip and Orchid span through dance after dance. They were beautiful together. It was then that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Jedburgh</span> appeared, she had clearly been demonstrating her prowess with snowballs, her hair was damp with melted ice, the hem of her dress soaked and muddied. I asked her to join me for a dance, she agreed, and we never left the floor until the others had deserted us. It was getting late now, and we walked home, laughing and happy. It had been the evening I had wanted, that I had needed and "she" had been asleep throughout; but that changed soon after.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-15134343091025917722008-12-26T03:07:00.002+00:002008-12-26T03:12:33.744+00:00The Rise and fall of Jason Moriarty and my part therein, and the saving of my life.<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Three days passed with no contact from Rip or Orchid. I had resolved not to contact them, it was unfair to push myself back in to their lives, they had assured me of their friendship and I had been unable to assure them that I was strong enough to fight the burden that I carried in my head. I busied myself at home, ignoring the world outside. It was not until the fourth day, that the potential cost of my decision was brought home to me.<br /><br />The house had been empty, Polly Anna had not been around for a few weeks. I could not worry excessively, she had left in a good mood and it was not unusual for her to take her leave like this. Equally I had not seen Miss Dagger, my house guest, for a number of days, her efforts to establish a new detective business is hard work and often takes her away for long periods; and so it was with some surprise that I emerged from my daily routine of bathing to here muffled groans and curses from upstairs.<br /><br />I pulled on some clean bloomers and ran half naked onto the landing, calling out Jed's name. Another curse issued from the room and I ran up the stairs, as Jed lurched out, her face a picture of discomfort, broadly covered in a patchwork of red blotches, but more <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">notably</span> her hands swathed in bandages. Thinking suddenly to my less than respectable state of attire I crossed my arms but seeing the state of the poor woman proceeded to help her. As is her way <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Jedburgh</span> dismissed the obvious problems that she was suffering with and simply replied that she was just fetching some tea. More worryingly , she accounted for her injuries with a single word, "Moriarty". I told her to make herself comfortable while I got tea for her and quickly ran down to the Bel <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">étage</span> to prepare.<br /><br />I had no sooner prepared the tea than there was a knock at the door and a shouting from the street. It was young <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Myrtil</span> and another urchin, a young boy named Will who I had not met before. I grabbed a cardigan from a closet covering my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">embarrassment</span> at least to the edge of decency and ran down to open the door. The children poured in.<br /><br />"Miss Janus!, Miss Janus!, Please please!!! Miss Janus! Mr Rip would like to see you. Moriarty attacked Miss Orchid and him!". The children did not want to stay, I beckoned them in they needed to see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Jedburgh</span> too, but they were certain that delaying a call to Rip and Orchid would perhaps increase their danger. I was torn, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Jedburgh</span> clearly needed <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">some</span> care and attention and yet this mystery was deepening and, my friends, so recently the victims of a bomb had once again been attacked. I managed to persuade the two children to come and meet Miss Dagger quickly.<br /><br />It transpired that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Jedburgh</span> had been walking by the theatre when an unseen assailant had attacked her from behind, holding her with an electrical force that sounded very like the power that Moriarty had attacked me with a month or two back. Jed had sought her gun but failed to get a close range shot before throwing herself into the deeper snow drifts, a quick witted act that probably saved her life, and certainly her appearance from the burning that engulfed her. It can only be presumed, but with a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">relative</span> degree of security, that the assailant was Jason Moriarty, now <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">possessed</span> of the ability to become invisible to the human eye as noted in the reports from the Van Creed because not long after as Doctors <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Kaligawa</span> and Watson had begun their treatment of her wounds, Moriarty returned to assault Mr Holmes. It seems then that he had fled out to the palisade to attack Rip and Orchid. Almost before this account had been concluded we were joined by Loki Eliot who had heard the earlier commotion and come seeking his friends.<br /><br />At this point the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">story</span> and events breakdown the children babbled about cloud angels, and apocalypse, and that Moriarty had threatened that we would all die tomorrow. IT was clear, I had to go immediately to see Rip and Orchid, I must abandon poor Jed to her wounds but if this was the event, the coming of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Azathoth</span>, the arrival that my unseemly bargain with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Nareth</span> had been established to fight, then all would be moot if things were not ready.<br /><br />It was broad daylight, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Nareth</span> slept, my mind about as calm as it got, and since the confrontation, since her anger, I had started to develop some limited means of withholding the images, at least when she was sleeping and the stream was placid and calm.<br /><br />I told Jed that I really felt I ought <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">to</span> go but that I'd return as soon as I could. True to form Miss Dagger put her injuries <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">aside</span> and assured me that she would join me. I raced upstairs to get dressed and then we hurried to Rip and Orchid's house.<br /><br />Inside the house was charred and the furniture thrown to the walls. Rip and Orchid sat forlornly on a sofa in the midst of the devastation, surrounded by a group of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">concerned</span> friends.<br /><br />They both seemed pleased to see me and explained, doubtless for the fourth or fifth time what had happened, they had had a very lucky escape. Moriarty had arrived and attacked the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">pair</span>, Rip, his skills and training as a fire bender allowing him to absorb much of the energy of the attack had thankfully shielded Orchid, leaving them both shocked, charred but alive. Rip was clearly exhausted, Orchid had suffered some damage to her arm, a sprain or twist of some form caused as she was thrown across the room during the initial attack, and minor burns.<br /><br />The assembled group consisted of the three of us, Miss Dagger, Miss Trafalgar, Mr Holmes, and the two doctors as well as an assortment of urchins. We discussed much about the proclamation of the end of New Babbage and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">resolved</span> to enact what plans we had made. We would lay a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Faraday</span> cage in his path, trap him and deal with the then weakened, near powerless form. A simple plan that would require careful coordination. We agreed that he would have to use the major source of electrical power in Babbage for his <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">attack and</span> thus a meeting was arranged at the Tesla plant in the Canals for the following day where we would lay in wait. We left shortly after and I escorted Jed back to the house, certain now that the poor lass was suffering more than she would allow her "hardened detective" image show. I wished that I had had her inner strengths in recent weeks.<br /><br />But what now of my choice, was this perhaps my own last day? If this was the threatened event then it stood to reason that my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">joining</span> with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Nareth</span> was about to pay us back. At the end of this, all was unknown, "her lady", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Azathoth</span>, the void, Labyrinth, so many names it is hard to know which to use; she would "decide my fate". Even in my naivety I had <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">recognised</span> that that rarely suggested a good outcome. Yet it was my choice, and if by this union Babbage and all that I love was spared then the choice would be repaid many times over, and if <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">no one</span> ever came to know of my part in the events, I would hope that at least Orchid and Rip could remember me for my friendship and not for my weakness.<br /><br />As soon as we arrived back home I sent Jed up to the 1st floor lounge, the fire there would be warm and the room cozy. I went to the bathroom and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">collected cotton</span> gauze and a bowl of warm water, and a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">collodian</span> salve for the burns. I removed my boots and knelt behind Jed, who had sat on the rug and was staring motionless into the flames. Placing the gauze, water and cream on the floor beside me I proceeded to examine her.<br /><br />"Right, let's take a look at these burns"<br />"like I told Watson, so much for the tough girl image". I smiled, she had shown the exact opposite but clearly felt her facade had slipped.<br /><br />"You seem pretty tough to me.", I looked at the marks across Jed's shoulders, I took a small <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">piece</span> of gauze, soaked it and starts to dab lightly.<br /><br /><br />"...and he ruined my new dress, the wretch."<br /><br />"I'm just glad he didn't ruin anything more important.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Jedburgh</span> turned her head slightly and smiled weakly up at me.<br /><br />"I knew he was powerful, but I didn't know he could become invisible."<br /><br />"These burns are quite extensive, there is some slight blistering on the back of your shoulder here.", I prodded a red patch gently, testing the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">sensitivity</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Jedburgh</span> grimaced<br /><br />"How was Orchid?", the question took me by surprise.<br /><br />"pardon? Oh, Orchid, I think she was actually in better shape than you, her arm looked to be hurt and I think she'll have bruising where she was thrown but it looks as though Rip took most of the energy.". Without making eye contact I worked gently round Jed's neck and shoulders. I picked up the pot of salve and daubed a piece of gauze with the cream. "This is a mixture of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">collodian</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">castor</span>-oil, it might sting a little but it'll help take the heat out.", I looped an arm underneath and across her stomach, her hair smelt sweet, and she relaxed a little. Supporting her with this arm, my right arm was free to gently spread the lotion. I gently pulled the fabric of Jed's top away from the skin, at the back of her shoulder blades, the burns went further down, not limited to exposed skin. I dabbed further down her back beneath the line of her clothing but was unable to make much progress. With an uncomfortable reflection of my seduction, for I can think of no other word, of Orchid, I found myself once again in close proximity to one I cared for. I steeled myself, thankful that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Nareth</span> was still sleeping, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">leant</span> forward.<br /><br />"Jed, I think you may have to take this top off", I shivered as I said the words. Images even now came unbidden to my mind. But Jed made no response. I smiled to see that Jed has fallen asleep in my lap. A relief came over me, she was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">comfortable</span> enough to sleep, the treatment could wait. I whispered, "maybe not then, wouldn't want to wake you" and taking a fresh cloth and started to wash along Jed's arms, frowning at the assorted red patches. "poor poor Jed, you sleep honey.", I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">leant</span> her back, her head lolling softly against me, her face looking up to the ceiling, stray hairs in her eyes. "yes sleep is good". I brushing the hair away from her forehead, then leaning forward rested my head on hers, closing my own eyes for a while.<br /><br />I sat like that for perhaps half an hour, listening to Jed's murmured dreams, content in my own way. The sun was sinking lower in the sky and in fear that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nareth</span> might wake, that somehow she might be able to wreck another friendship. I moved around, and lifting Jed as best I could carried her up to her room. Leaving her on her bed and heading out for an early evening walk. I decided I would pay another visit to Rip and Orchid, I took an assortment of additional bandages with me to support my excuse.<br /><br />I walked up to their door and knocked cautiously, hoping not to disturb them should they be sleeping. The door swung open and I looked once again upon the devastation of the attack. There was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">no one</span> around, but Rip appeared from the bedroom shortly after.<br /><br />"oh Rip!", I span around startled and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">embarrassed</span>, "sorry, the door, err it swung open"<br /><br />"We were just resting, probably blew the hinge this morning"<br /><br />"I'm really sorry I'll go, leave you two alone"<br /><br />"No you are here now"<br /><br />"I brought over some bandages for you", I indicated the small bundle I carried with me. Rip smiled uncertainly.<br /><br />"have a seat and I will get her", he paused. "Thank you for your thought". He went to summon Orchid and returned, we sat in silence for a time. "Have a lot to clean", he mused as Orchid appeared.<br /><br />"Hi <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Beq</span>", I smiled slightly at Orchid<br /><br />"How are you both feeling?"<br />"At least a bit more rested now...", Orchid replied, "I won't lie and say I'm not terribly frightened."<br /><br />"I don't blame you, you have gone through so much recently, both of you and your lovely new home too, this is horrible. I think that arm should be supported better than that Orchid." I nodded to her arm that she nursed gingerly.", I began to root through my assorted bandages.<br /><br />"Do you have something I might use?"<br /><br />"I do.", I looked up at her smiling, pulling a large triangular cotton bandage from the bundle. I paused looked at Rip, then back to Orchid. "err would you rather Rip did this?". Orchid McMillan glanced from me to Rip. "I-it doesn't matter to me... Rip?".<br /><br />"If she <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">doesn't</span> feel comfortable doing it then I will", I stepped forward and knelt nervously by Orchid, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">folding</span> the bandage to the right shape as Rip <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">watched</span> me intently. I took Orchid's hand passing it across her chest, swathing it in the cotton bandage, finally reaching up to pass the bandage behind Orchid's head and back. Orchid and I both deliberately looked away as our faces came closer, we both <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">giggled</span> slightly at the silliness of it all. I looked nervously back at Rip and smiled as I knotted the bandage and then stood back up. Orchid smile, letting the sling take the weight of her arm.<br /><br />"Thank you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Beq</span>."<br /><br />"That should allow it to rest"<br /><br />I felt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Nareth</span> stirring in her casket, she would wake soon. I had much to discuss and I didn't need her to be angry again.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Beq</span>?", Orchid, prompted, I had paused too long.<br /><br />"Sorry", I blinked away the images, "I was ... was thinking". I returned to my seat. Rip looked at Orchid then back to me and raised an eyebrow briefly. "Rip are you OK, is there anything I can do for you?"<br /><br />"I think the best thing for me right now is to rest, today drained me."<br /><br />"My head and ribs will be fine.", I smiled sincerely at him.<br /><br />"That is good to hear, truly I am so pleased that you are both <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">OK</span>. You could so easily have been killed today, I could not bear the thought of losing either of you despite what I have done.", Orchid smiled awkwardly<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Beq</span>, do you think <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Nareth</span> has a shot? Against him, I mean?", Orchid looked at me searching for an answer. I sat back.<br /><br />"I don't know. Its my shot remember, she is mine as much as she invades my mind and bends my emotions she is mine to control but I have not been prepared".<br /><br />"Yes, sorry....Do you have something planned?"<br /><br />"The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">Faraday</span> cage right?", interjected Rip. I nodded. "How do you plan to get him in there?"<br /><br />"That will be up to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Nareth</span> I think, he trusts her", it was Orchid's turn to raise an eyebrow now. "He thinks that he summoned her, which is true but he does not realise that he lost her."<br /><br />"Well, I suppose that's to our advantage."<br /><br />"Perhaps, but I don't know that I am ready. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Nareth</span>, has told me that I have much to learn before I am ready. She plays with my mind, makes me see things, feel things,", my mind wanders to recent memories and I dismiss them, "she tempts me to join her. I resist, and she laughs telling me that I am learning, but weak.".<br /><br />"I'm so sorry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Beq</span>.", Orchid frowned.<br /><br />"No, it was my "choice", my decision. But if I fail because I am not ready I do not know what happens next."<br /><br />"Then you will not fail, so we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">don't</span> have to find out.", Rip was there once again, the optimism <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">unbounded</span>, his <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">positive</span> thought. All meant so well<br /><br />"We won't allow it.", added Orchid smiling at me.<br /><br />I looked down at my feet and shyly returned the smile.<br /><br />"I guess I need to get ready then. If we are to fight him tomorrow we need to rest. You two more so than any."<br /><br />"If you need my help <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">tomorrow</span>, you know it is yours", Rip stood, "take care then <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">Beq</span>, we will see you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">tomorrow</span>. Do have a good sleep."<br /><br />"Sleep well, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">Beq</span>." added Orchid as I stood to leave.<br /><br />"Do you think this is it? Really it? The arrival of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Nareth's</span> lady? I think Moriarty has made an error, I fear that this is not the last threat it is not the threat that I am being prepared to face. If I am not right and this is indeed it, then win or lose, tomorrow is likely the last time I will see you both. Please, if it comes to that, look after one another, I know you will. Your love is strong, never lose it. You do not want to be alone in life.", I looked away and headed for the door. "Goodnight". Orchid whispered goodnight and Rip moved forward to show me out.<br /><br />I turned at the door, and looked back at Orchid and Rip.<br /><br />"I love you both, I wish it could have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">been</span> different", I looked nervously at Rip, who loomed close and now stood between me and the door. For a moment who simply stood there looking at me before stepping forward and putting his arms around me, hugging me tight.<br /><br />"It will be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">OK</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">don't</span> worry". I hugged him back, it felt so good to feel the touch of friendship returning. " Be safe". Orchid had stood up and come up beside me, and reaching her right arm out to me, smiled <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">meekly</span>. I took her hand and squeezed it gently in mine.<br /><br />"Thank you both"<br /><br />"I-I would hug you, but..", she looked down at her arm.<br /><br />"I know, I understand."<br /><br />"Don't forget <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Beq</span>, we are here for you."<br /><br />As I left, I felt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">Nareth</span> awake. Perhaps she saw where I was, if so she said nothing. As I walked back to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">my house</span>, I related a summary of the days events, and of the plans for the next day. She made little comment and left me feeling somewhat more confused as to what was happening. I suspected that she too felt that this was too soon, but she said nothing. It was not long after that I collapsed into bed and slept soundly.<br /><br />I awoke the next day, fully refreshed and met the group at the Tesla coils as planned. The children had bought flutes and whistles <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_73">which</span> created a high pitched noise that apparently will drive away a werewolf. Others had lit fires at the entrance and it was between these fires that we erected the cage. There was no sign of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_74">Nareth</span>, she was sleeping and so I decided that we might have to manage without her. Rip was to lead Moriarty through the cage, slamming the rear door behind him, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_75">even</span> as I slammed the front door, trapping Moriarty. A neat if simplistic plan.<br /><br />We waited...<br /><br />A large group had formed, what would Jason do? After all if he was about to destroy us he could hardly show fear at the crowd and then all at once a shout went up, footprints in the snow had been seen, he was coming. It was young Jimmy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_76">Branagh</span>, the urchin boy who first saw him.<br /><br />"Jason where are you?!", Rip cried into the wind, drawing his sword<br /><br />"Rip run through the access tunnel", I urged Rip through the cage, deliberately suggesting access to misdirect his thoughts on the cage., there was a flurry of action as Rip ran through in to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_77">cage</span>, but could not open the rear door, as he fumbled with the catch, the footprints followed him in. There followed an angry few moments as Rip managed to duck outside and push the cage door shut, as I ran to the front and shut the front door too. "We have him", I cried.<br /><br />A chorus went through the crowds as the cage was lit with sparks and fury, as the form of Jason <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_78">Moriarty</span> blinked in and out of view.<br /><br />"let me out", he screamed, he was clearly livid at being trapped so easily, and yet moments later, he stepped through the cage as if it were not there.<br /><br /><i><b>"Wait..."</b></i><br />"Wait...", it was the professor, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_79">Nareth</span>, I had been so wrapped I had not not even seen her awaken, or perhaps she had not let me.<br /><br />Another chorus went around the crowd, this time at the professors arrival, at the mention of her name.<br /><br />"Where is he?"<br /><br />We indicated that he was most probably inside, from within the plant Rip called back out.<br /><br />"He is in here somewhere <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_80">Nareth</span>", only to be drowned out by a shout <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_81">from</span> within. The voice of Moriarty<br /><br />"I AM A MONSTER!"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_82">Nareth</span>, walked through the fire and into the Tesla plant.<br /><br />Jason...can you hear me?", no <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_83">response</span>, inside, through the flames I could see her moving around, "Jason!"<br /><br />Once again it was young Jimmy who saw the first sight of him.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_84">Oy</span> can see '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_85">im</span>! '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_86">ee's</span> a werewolf now! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_87">Behoind</span> the big coil."<br /><br />"Jason...Listen.", the professors voice was loud and firm rising above the noises and commotion all around. Now...are you stronger?"<br /><br />"I am what i was", the reply a growl.<br /><br />"That is a start, yes?"<br /><br />"but i lack what is needed to fullfill my Gods wishes"<br /><br />"Now...how does this end? Do you live another day? We must decide."<br /><br />"No, i am mearly the instrument, I shall show you."<br /><br />"We are *all* merely instruments.", Nareth's voice trailed off as Moriarty transformed into another beast.<br />"My dear Nareth, dear sweet Nareth, I so want to show you everything".<br />"Jason...speak! Show me now, for I lose patience."<br /><b><i><br />"Mistress...."<br />"yes Nareth"<br />"I am...I am burning. I have taken much...of him..into me."<br />"I will come for you"<br />"No! Tell eveyone...to stand away from the doors.<br /><br /></i></b>I could feel the turmoil about her, the heat of the flames and energies that passed through her.<b><i> </i></b>I shouted out her instriuctions in the confusion people didn't move.<br /><br />"Stand away fromthe doors!", I pleaded and ordered. Nareth had taken to her demon form, her wings unfurled and Myrtil and others had noticed.<br /><br /><br />"Everyone now. Rip that includes you please. Breezy please stand back"<br /><br />there was a surge in energy, I could feelthe tension in Nareth's mind as she shielded herself and perhaps me from the effects, yet still it was a deafening roar, a searing light in my mind's eye.<br /><br />"Nareth!"<br /><b><i><br />I think...he is gone.</i></b><br /><br />The surge had passed, but the burning, a ferocious bruning had replaced it, I could feel it tearing at the shield that Nareth had built, but still growing ever stronger.<br /><br /><b><i>"have you absorbed him, or has he left us?"</i></b><br /><br /><i><b>"I cannot...yet say. But...it is not safe..near me..unstable.</b></i><br /><br /><b><i>"I feel the tearing around you"<br /><br />"Yessssss..."<br /><br />"Come to me"<br /><br />"I cannot hold it."<br /><br />"Who can help? I offer you my strength"<br /><br />There was a pause<br /><br />"It is..no small offer...you make..."<br /><br />"We are joined, your loss would likely kill me I am helping myself"<br /><br />At this I felt an immense and cruishing cold pass through my body, a darkness so complete, and black as to be beyond anything I had ever seen.<br /><br /></i></b>I started shivering violently. My mind was lost in the darkness. In the distance I heard voices calling out, then the world slipped away.<br /><br /><b><i>"helping us?"<br /><br />"Smothering. Mistress..it is done. It is begun."<br /><br />"so.... cold"<br /><br />"Colder...to come."<br /><br />"Nareth ..."<br /><br /></i></b>I fell to the ground shaking and unconsciouos, my body felt to be trapped in ice, my mind full of blackness, un relenting, unchanging cold, cold darkness.<br /><br /><br /><b><i>I need...to release you...and I cannot."<br /><br />"The cold, it is inside me"<br /><br />"It is the Void."<br /><br />"I .. am ...so tired, the cold burns"<br /><br />"The port...the cloud angel..."<br /><br /></i></b>In my mind for moment I could see images, an airship, the cloud angel, the twins and Moriarty and with them all, Nareth.<br /><b><i><br />"What is the will of my Mistress?"<br /><br />"release it"<br /><br />"I would...."<br /><br />"can it leave this world?"<br /><br />"I do not comprehend the question."<br /><br />"I am too tired...."<br /><br /></i></b>I lost even Nareth for a time, the blackness abosrbed me, the world around me span and I was falling.<b><i><br /><br />"warmth, they are warming me"<br /><br />"Hold tight to them and to this world."<br /></i></b><br /><br />"Beq ... speak to me", I heard the voice, far away, and my hand, someoen was rubbing my hand, and I was rising again, the darkness subsiding. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Breezy Carver looking down on me, a look of terror and concern upon her face.<br /><br />"sssoooooc c cc c cold", breezy, lent down hugging me to her.<br /><br />"what did she do to you?"<br /><br />"w w we we f ff f ought it"<br /><br />"you did!!!!", a sound of confusion in her voice. Not unsurprisingly. "but but are you ok ??". Behind Miss Carver stood Miss Chernov, looking on with worry in her heart.<br /><br />"i it w w w will pass", Breezy continued to rub my back.<br /><br />"Miss Janus, are you alright?", Miss Chernov lent in.<br />"Miss Chernov she .. trembling so and .. soo cold. What did the Prof do to her ??<br />"I have no idea"<br />I tried to move but suddenly there was more energy, Nareth was fighting, she was sending them home, the twins.<br />I will not account for that which in all truth I have little recolletion of. The tale of the professor's bravery, the vanquishing of Moriarty and the return of the twins will live on for many generations. A new chapter in the heroics of Nareth Nishi. A glorious deceit of course, it was not her will, her direction. It was the choice, our bargain. She was fulfilling her role and soon, she would arrive, "her lady" and my fate would be decided.<br /><br />I collapsed into unconsciousness once more.<br /><br />"We need to get her to warmth right away, she is exausted"<br />"I have something here... it's an bottle of rum which belonged to explorer Magellan Linden... that should keep her warm"<br />"lets put it under her nose perhaps we can revive her yes ??"<br /><br />I heard the voices around me and the scent of liquor, it raised my mind once again and blinking, I returned to them. Natacha Chernov was kneeling down holding a bottle under my nose.". Breezy reached down and took my cold hand in hers once again.<br /><br />"Come on Beq", Breeezy pleaded with me as my eyes opened, Miss Chernov smiled.<br /><br />"Breezy?"<br /><br />"there there ..", she smiled warmly and looking up to Natasha beamed "You are wonderful Ms Chernov"<br /><br />"Miss Chernov?"<br /><br />"Well, thet's not me, thanks Magellan Linden... if anyone ever will find him"<br /><br />"There you have been through quite an amazing .. thing here"<br /><br />Miss Chernov handed me a shot of rum in the brass cap of a hip flask. I sat myself up, drank it and felt the warmth trickling through my icy veins<br /><br />"I must say I don't understand most of it..."<br /><br />The two discusse the events, they had hung back as the crowd had moved toward the port, held back to look after me.<br /><br />"Thank you for your help, without you I would not have found my way back"<br /><br />"Do you know what happened to Professor, Miss Janus? Or what she... become?", Ms Chernov aske the question directly, echoing earlier murmurs that I had heard from the crowd at Nareth's arrival.<br /><br />"I must not say, I am sorry, she did not harm me, not without my permission."<br /><br />"I shared my strenght with her, she was too weak alone"<br /><br />"Oh... well, I hope you know what you are doing... after all, she saved the whole town last year, so maybe I shall believe her and did she defeated Moriarty this time for good?<br /><br />"she .. is not all evil"<br /><br />"I know... but she is not all just good either, is she?"<br /><br />I looked down at the ground, at this moment I did not rightly know, she burned brightly agaiin in my mind, the shild she had used to protect us, keeping the intensity at bay.<br /><br />"no though perhaps there is no such concept, no black, no white just grey.". Natacha Chernov looked towards the tesla coils.<br /><br />"yes... maybe even Moriarty himself wasn't just plain black... who knows"<br /><br />In my mind the events continued<br /><br />you are with him ... I can feel him..he is scared<br /><br />He is harmless now. The twins...I am sending them away..<br /><br />home. send them home<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />My eyes grew wide<br /><br />"she has defeated him, he is harmless now"<br />"I hope he is...", Natacha Chernov looked over her shoulder up to the sky, than turned to me; "will you be alright? I think I'll try to take a look for this<br />Angel above Port..."<br /><br />"I will be fine, thankyou I owe you a greater debt than you know"<br /><br />"Oh, not thank me, thank Magellan Linden and his rum", she smiled and I smiled back. "Take care Miss Janus, hope to see you soon"<br /><br /><b><i>Nareth, will you be OK? They have left me now.<br /><br />My mind was fille with light and happiness.<br /><br />Beautiful. So..beautiful.<br /><br />Is She with you Nareth, your lady?<br /><br />She is...near.<br /><br />The gateway is opened...<br /><br />Was it her, is she the void? did she pass through me?<br /><br />We will talk of it all.<br /><br />I am going home Nareth, I am spent</i></b><br /><br />With the surge of colours in my mind raging, I staggered through the streets, I must get home, restwas what I craved most. Rest and proper warmth.<br /><br />I stumbled in through my doorway, climbed the steps and collapsed onto the couch.<br /><br />I will fall.<br /><br />fall? No not if I can help it.<br /><br />It is...done..Mistress. Now, my Lady. Close the gate.<br /><br />Do you feel my confusion Nareth, I cannot see clearly what is happening, it is jumbled<br /><br />My head was suddenly filled with pain, Nareth's pain, a pian that burned through every nerve and synapse<br /><br />I screamed out.<br /><br /><i><b>Nareth, what is happening? Nareth?<br /><br />Closing...the..gate.<br /><br />strength Nareth, be strong<br /><br />So much fire.<br /><br /></b></i>My head was filled with flame, orange and red flames tearing at Nareth.<i><b><br /><br />Quench it Nareth<br /><br />it will not win out<br /><br />The sea...The sea.<br /><br /></b></i>I saw water, in her mind, or perhaps in her vision. I have never asked. But it quenched the flames, dousied the tearing, clawing heat.<i><b><br /><br />Home..Must..rest..now...I have..been..so burned...<br /><br />Then sleep Nareth, sleep long, rest well. You have done well, your mistress is pleased<br /><br />Then...yes...I may sleep.</b></i><br /><br />Briefly I saw the inside of the casket and we both fell into sleep.<br /><br /><br /></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-3471643146841287642008-12-25T01:43:00.000+00:002008-12-25T01:44:37.437+00:00from conflagration to confrontationThe next morning, I awoke early with a dry throat and after an early breakfast and copious quantities of tea,I bathed dressed and headed out, resolved that I would start the day by clearing the air as best I could. I went to visit Rip and Orchid in their new home, she would not yet have received the letter, this was the ideal opportunity. As I approached the building I saw the most curious sight, Dr Watson, scurrying around the side of the house, beneath the tree the stands in their garden.<p></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">As I approached the good doctor pulled himself up and rapped his knuckles against the window pane.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Dr Watson?", I coughed announcing my presence and he turned to face me. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Oh, Miss Janus", he looked rather flushed.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I was looking for Miss Orchid and Mr Rip are they in?", I heard a shout from the house, it was Orchid.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq! We're trapped!", her voice was soon joined by appeals for me to stay back from rip and Miss Trafalgar.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"the steps, bombs!", shouted Rip. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">It transpired that while Miss Trafalgar had been inside some devious criminal had conspired to kill them all by placing high explosive devices on the door step, luckily the quick reactions of Rip had saved the all. The culprit had done his homework, through oversight or simple poor design, the house was a trap, with a single entrance at ground level. I ran back to my house, which was nearer than the firestation and retrieved my ladder, bringing it back and leaning it against the roof of the lower floor, allowing the 3 to descend in safety.</p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I don't intend to dwell too much upon these events the scurrilous broad sheets carried many a story of the event and how young Loki had saved the day, though more by luck than judgement, destroying the devices with a series of carefully thrown snowballs. Suffice to say, both Rip and Orchid were shaken and shocked, their beautiful home severely burned and tainted by smoke.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvbk8XcCTlDNLbSqedsxwZFQfQvzgqPZ_w-NNoS_8sRIZrm4IW8B-Sl4daf-WzRdGd3mpljbxvy3P7MbmBqRFYPuIKskM1XYYXXHpTVJm3KM8zrghYwmnML0BhxP-1-P6IOb6OagAfIdJ/s1600-h/Snapshot_001.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvbk8XcCTlDNLbSqedsxwZFQfQvzgqPZ_w-NNoS_8sRIZrm4IW8B-Sl4daf-WzRdGd3mpljbxvy3P7MbmBqRFYPuIKskM1XYYXXHpTVJm3KM8zrghYwmnML0BhxP-1-P6IOb6OagAfIdJ/s320/Snapshot_001.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283536689808860482" border="0" /></a></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> The tension had become too much for Orchid, she had left shortly after they had been released, to calm her nerves and Rip now faced with the charred remnants of his entrance lobby was unlikely to feel like talking. I approached him warily, offered my commiserations and promised them complete freedom to my home, that under the circumstances I would move out to the Vernian until their house could be made habitable. Rip surveyed the damage declaring that everything was fine. They'd sleep there that evening. He thanked me cordially and I left my plans in tatters, I'd now have to mentally prepare myself for this again. Moreover there was the mystery of why anyone would seek to kill or injure either of the three. I could only assume that this Relic character, a self styled terrorist was the culprit. Events were to prove me wrong, very wrong.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">It was about 5 hours later when I returned, Rip had done a good job, the smoke damage remained, the door charred but neatly rehung. I paused outside the door, took a final deep breath and knocked.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Who's there shouted Rip", his voice gruff, a note of wariness to it. He came out and opened the door, I smiled meekly."Beq"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Rip, Orchid, can we talk?", I asked my head bowed slightly eyes looking through him and into the house, he nodded, slowly opening the door.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Orchid was sat on a sofa at the back of the dining room, and nervously glanced back and forth between the two of us.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"yes we need to talk Beq",Orchid watched me as I sat down, one eye on the bottle of Absinthe left on the table. Rip looked across to me, hand on the couch, and is if reading Orchid's view, made it quite clear that I was not to touch the bottle. I smiled nervously. The air hung thick with the silence and tension. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Soooo....", said Orchid, staring into her lap.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"What did you want Beq?", asked Rip.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Rip, it is you that I have come to speak to, to perhaps answer your questions, to let you express yourself". Rip turned to orchid </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Would you please let us speak alone, if you are here, you will cloud both our thoughts</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"No", I shook my head. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"NO?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would rather she stayed, at least if that is her will", my hackles were up already and we'd not started, why must men feel that they should molly coddle women?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It's okay Beq... I think, I think he would only censor his true words if I were here. If that is what you are really after..", Orchid rose slowly and headed for the bedroom.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"thank you Orchid", Rip looked over at me, "How long of you known us, the both of us?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"long enough to hold you in my heart as dear friends"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">There was a knock at the door. Rip frowned and got up to answer but Orchid rushed in.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I-I'll get it.. you two continue, she pulled the door open. "ahhh, Mr. Renfold."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"ah just who I wanted to see miss orchid"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Might we speak outside?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"of course", Orchid stepped outside pulling the door to behind her.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Rip sat back down, "yes, long enough to hold us dear. Long enough to develop a large amount of trust?", I nodded, "that is what I thought. Trust, it is fickle is it not?n Takes a deal of time to gain and an instant to lose.".I looked to where Orchid had been sitting and Rip's eyes followed my own before return and settling on me again.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Do you really think I chose this path?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"We never choose our path, only how we travel it."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Is your view of me now so tainted that you think I went out of my way to hurt you?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq, I don't think you went out of your way to do that but by what ever means it happened you did</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I am guilty not of loving Orchid for I could never consider that a crime, I am guilty of a lapse in strength, a lapse that left me exposed my inner most fears and secrets open, had it been within my choice, those emotions would have been forever buried."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-weight: bold;"> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Do not grovel before this bastard."</span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Nareth's thoughts filled my mind.<br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;">"You are so strong, Mistress. You are so true."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq, how can I blame you for loving her, I myself do with all my heart, I hoped you would understand that, and I never knew you felt that way...but the lapse in your strength, that was a breaking of my trust, you do know that. You have NO clue, the respect I had for you, the trust I bestowed, the admiration.", his words cut deep. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Do you discard all your friends when their strength fails them, is that why you hide behind that sword? I saw how you looked up to me, I never sought such elevation, and I was not worthy of it."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Yes, you are, Mistress. You are worthy of far, far more. You have betrayed no one, no one who matters.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It pains me that you think I have discarded you, if I had would I be here speaking with you right now? I am beside my sword because it is my past, horrible things. We never seek to be admired but our actions make it so, just who you are does."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"The way that you look at me Rip, is it not a look of hatred? I did not seek this tension in my mind, how can you lecture me on my failings without knowing what I endure? I am sorry for the pain I brought upon you, I would have wished it otherwise but Rip, you are not the only one hurting.".</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> "<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">He does not know hurt, Mistress. He means to possess your love, as a man might possess a horse or a dog. Lock her away, make a secret of her....</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I looked up as the door edged open and Orchid crept slowly back in and up to the bedroom, a vial in hand. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It is a look of anger and sadness to see what the charm has made you become, YOU think I truly blame you? I know you are not fully in control, the Beq in there has to fight."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I was weak Rip, so very weak"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I know you are hurting too Beq, all three of us are. This has been a hard time for all of us."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"hard.. yes and so lonely"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"...Steal the light from her eyes. It is a trick, Mistress. There is no sympathy in him. None. He only means to gain the upper hand.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"If you say lonely then the charm has blinded you. Do you not see that even through this there are those that care of you still?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"There are shades of loneliness, as there are kinds of love.", Rip Wirefly nodded slowly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That I can understand Beq"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Imagine her, rotting in a cage...while he holds the key".</span><br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">An image started to form in my mind, Orchid pale, near death, locked in a filthy cage staring forlornly through the bars. Not this time, I had to dismiss this trickery I had to try to be clear.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Nareth, please!"</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"Please. We could set her free. She would thank you, in the end. Mistress....</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I shook my head, rubbing my eyes, trying to focus.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"We all seek solace when times are bad, it is in our nature. In my weakness, I allowed my base instincts to rise, I cannot deny them, but I would not have let them go if I had had the power to resist."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq, you have a void in your heart that need filling but Orchid is not the one to fill it, I am sorry", another palpable hit, it was the truth, the void in my life left by Tali has lain empty for years, all those who might have come to fill it have been pushed aside, the emotions buried, buried until now. Yet with that realisation came an echo of his words, it was not his decision, it was Orchid's.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That is her choice not yours, you cannot hold dominion over another's heart, no sword had that strength. She has made it clear that the passion that burns inside me is not reciprocated. I can respect her will, I cannot change my own so easily."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I never said I hold the strings of her heart, I no more control her heart than I do my own, Love happens and I understand that."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"He is locking her up like a canary. She will sing for none save him and in the end, she will not even sing for him. She will forget the song. But...you are free...Be wary...</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"yet you banished her to tell me that she does not love me? she needs no guardian, she knows her heart and mind"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"So now you will bend my words?", Did I? was I? I took a deep breath</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Do I? Did you see the look of fear in Orchid's face last night? I do not mean to tie you up with words Rip."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I did see her fear, that is a face that pained me to see but what did she fear Beq?</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It was a fear of violence Rip, the anger that boiled beneath your surface, the anger that wields those weapons.", I paused, I had lost my temper, I was attacking him, and to what end? Rip was a victim here not me. Was I sure it was a fear of anger, of violence, perhaps it was something else, a fear of loss, a fear of me, a fear that I might seek to tear them apart, as Nareth would have me do. I stopped. I was wrong, I should not be here at all. I stared upwards to the bedroom, wondering what Orchid was doing, sure that she'd be listening at the floorboards.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"There are many fears Rip"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq the fear she had was past the violence, it was the fear that two she cared for would part"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Is that your sentence then? You presume to judge me and I have admitted my guilt, my lapse of strength, yet you offer me no penance?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"How do I Beq, everytime I say that it was not your full control, that it was not you doing it you retort with another excuse. So then let me ask you, how are we to get through this beq?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would never have brought this upon either of you, I love you both too much for this, whtI have done I am truly sorry for. But it is done there is no through, we draw a line underneath it and move along, I have lost your trust but the only way forward is for that trust to return. Orchid and I cannot live with you forever looking at our every interaction with suspicion, and neither can you. It would kill your heart, destroy you."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">" But...he will always, always be suspicious..forever. You know that."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I need your trust Rip"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq, my trust, you know in time that it will return, but it will not be an instantaneous thing and you know that but for now I must trust I think."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I know that I am no longer worthy of it in your eyes."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It pains me trust you so readily but I must. Trust is a two way street Rip</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Pain... He does not *know* pain."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Do you not trust me Beq?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Not as I did, last night you would have cut me in two if you had thought to get away with it, your strength stayed your hand, but the anger, the fury fought it. I have to trust you with my life and more than that. You know the choices I have made.", as I said this the noises in my head were growing, drowning out all other sounds.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"If you don't trust me Beq then... I have never done anything against you, Last night I stayed my hand, anger and, and yet you do not trust me fully? Though you did that I would still give my life to save yours and you doubt your trust in me? It pains me you would think I would do that to a friend, WHY would I wish to bring harm to someone I HOLD dear."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I can trust you Rip when you trust your own heart, when you trust Orchid. She is the innocent victim in this, to look at her with suspicion hurts you both. It is me that you must blame not her, and I know that you will say this is already so, but do not answer me, think, take this deep inside and understand. She fought for you that night, she fought against her love of a friend in need, to see her way back to you."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Orchid stepped slowly out of the bedroom..</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"When have I EVER said I did not trust her?"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"no, you never have", Rip looked to the door, "then why do you assume? I trust her more then I do myself.", Orchid sighed heavily, staring down at the floor. a tear fell from Rip's eye, trickling down his face.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Then commit that to your heart Rip."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"He speaks from his position of authority and force..."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Who said I haven't already? You still assume I do not trust her". Orchid McMillan nodded, glancing to Rip, speaking softly. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It... it seemed that night Rip, at Loki's, that you were far more angered that I was there with her, than just seeing her could anger you.". Rip closed his eyes and bowed his head.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You assume too that I was angered at that.". Orchid opened her mouth to respond, then shut it promptly, her lower lip trembling lightly. Tears ran in streams down Rip's face and he held it low.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Rip, I... if I'm truly mistaken, please, make me understand."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Nareth's anger had become menacing </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> " He loathes you. You are loathsome in his eyes."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">The voice in my head rose to a painful crescendo </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"No!", I cried out at the throbbing pain.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"There was a bit of anger at seeing her with you again, admittedly, but that is not from a lack of trust with you, but of her, I was angered at the sight of her."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I leant forward holding my hands to my head squeezing, as if to steady my mind. the noise had risen beyond pain, and vanished, the silence the emptiness, the void left behind more painful than the sound itself. Rip stared at me, tears welling, not knowing the reason for my madness. the pain subsided and I sat, rocking slightly. breathing heavily. Across the room I could see the look of concern on Orchid's face. Then as my breathing returned to normal, she focused her gaze upon me once again.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Beq, I... you both sat here, speaking of trust..I think the trust you both missed the most, was my trust in you."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I looked up, meeting her gaze, sadness in her eyes. "We obviously had great trust in each other Beq, to... to even have me there with you while combining the charm... I've trusted you more than any other friend I have, and yet you put me in a position to choose! To choose between hurting at least one of the two I am closest to.". I bit hard at my lip, holding her gaze. Orchid lowered her head, staring at the floor again, speaking softly, "I need to learn to trust you again, all over again."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would undo that if I could Orchid, you must understand as much already. I can but try to rebuild this. If that is what you wish". Orchid nodded slowly, keeping her head lowered.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I-I can't bear to lose either one of you.", her whole body shook.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That is not the choice, I don't think Rip or I would wish you hurt more.", Orchid glanced up slightly, looking from Beq to Rip</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I would wish to not hurt her at all", he muttered and Orchid smiled, I swallowed as the words bit home.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Orchid McMillan exhaled slowly, turning her gaze upwards again. </p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Do either of you have any more thoughts? I'm not sure much more talk today will help, unless we all get a chance to clear our minds and think a little."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I have said my piece", Rip sat back, his tears drying. But what promise could I make, Could I promise to be stronger than a charm whose power now dominates my head, whose intensity had just crushed all sound and thought from my mind? I could not, it would be a lie.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I need you both to understand, I cannot earn you trust, not now,, not as you would like. I was weaker then for so many reasons, but still this charm binds me, and when I am struck low again I will fail. I have no super human power of will. If I could I would stand before you and shield you from anything, but my armour is not perfect, I am not that hero Rip saw, I am just a woman. Just a woman.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Rip puts his head down shaking it</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"None of us are perfect Beq, I would never expect an instant turn-around. All I ask is that we all try., Orchid was firm, her composure regained.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I could hold back my tears no longer and now the sobs came suddenly.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Did I not try? I failed but not for lack of trying". I had fought the demons in my mind hadn't I? I was no longer sure myself. "I think we have said enough, we need time to clear the air."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">I stood to leave, wiping the tears from her eyes. My own tears had brought Orchid back to the verge of crying once more as she avoided looking at either of us. "Rip, comfort the poor girl will you please.", I forced a smile and left.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">As I left the house, Rip's words echoed in my mind even as another pressure rose behind my eyes.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"You have a void in your heart that needs filling", a void....</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">As I stood in the snow outside the house, I was suddenly aware of Nareth. She was clearly angry still. The pressure began building inside my head again. Like a wave coming. Bearing down...Rage, Nareth's rage. Then within the roaring torrent came words</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">IF YOU HAVE NO WISH OF MY COUNSEL, THEN ORDER ME SILENT, MISTRESS, BUT, I BEG YOU, DO NOT ENDURE THIS INDIGNITY.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Your counsel, you know my heart you see the turmoil, I love them both dearly, what I did was wrong."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">In my mind I saw Nareth leave her casket.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"No...Mistress. It was not wrong. It was only contrary to the mores of this place. And time."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"But we are defined by our actions and their perception, to hurt a friend is wrong whatever the time or place."</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"What I am...what I just witnessed...There is unspeakable anger in me. And yet, I cannot act upon it, as I am bound.</span></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">And then she was with me, by my side. I could feel her glare from behind her goggles, the anger that seethed within her. We walked back to my home and I invited her in once again.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Mistress. You should know...you are free to dismiss me when you wish. It is part of the arrangement. I am bound to say that.", She glowered at the floor as she removed her goggles. "Night.", she whispered, an observation at the final setting of the sun. "I am...hungry.", Nareth's body shuddered, and I felt deep pity for her, for the way she existed, a small pained sound left her lips and then stared in disbelief as a pair of black wings un furled from her back. "I did not mean you to see this...I am weak...I have not fed...my control slips. Weak...and angry.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"That anger is not necessary"</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It is not something I can...help. I beg you, dismiss me...", Nareth's body shuddered again."I would not have you see...". Nareth stood.</p><br />"Please go Nareth do what you must". <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"What I must.", she echoed.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I am destined to be alone it seems."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"I cannot leave if it is not your will."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"It is my will, go Nareth, be gone."</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"Yes, Mistress. Summon me, when you have need.", and with that she was gone, and I was once more on my own. and rip's words echoed back again.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">"A void in your heart that needs filling".....</p>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-53578528010356328732008-12-24T23:22:00.005+00:002008-12-25T10:21:46.948+00:00Billet Doux<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">Following my drunken binge I had resolved to put things straight. An anger still burned inside me, anger at myself but misdirected towards Rip, towards his apparent aggression towards Orchid, who was blameless in this entire episode, poor Orchid, torn apart by my weakness and her friendship.<br /></p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">After Nareth had left me that evening I had sat down to complete the letter I had started many times earlier that day. I battled with my emotions and to this day regret that I was not more estrained in my writing any yet, it was the truth, my heartfelt apology not for my feelings but for admitting even submitting to them.<br /></p><p style="margin-bottom: 0cm;"><br /></p><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyB9YUiJ1RyJH2i40ZFa7GrnCiCjxOIWo5kvG0Jjf75aN9sSaAy0C2RFz7jaJbQeiCFEo624HTAj4QB0bNiOQ2DVBI505g_sZN9Yagx7Ai4MbQG8g43IutZOHz83xnOD2Rz7pvX3zEhsS/s1600-h/tear+stained+letter+to+orchid+page+1.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 233px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyB9YUiJ1RyJH2i40ZFa7GrnCiCjxOIWo5kvG0Jjf75aN9sSaAy0C2RFz7jaJbQeiCFEo624HTAj4QB0bNiOQ2DVBI505g_sZN9Yagx7Ai4MbQG8g43IutZOHz83xnOD2Rz7pvX3zEhsS/s320/tear+stained+letter+to+orchid+page+1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283501562186146466" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">7th December</span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> Maison Horta,</span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> Babbage Palisade</span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> City State of New Babbage</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> Dear sweet Orchid, </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> It is in great sorrow and ignominy that I start upon this letter, for, as you know so intimately, I had vowed never to accept another into my heart if not into my arms. It was not by wulfil choice that I let you in, and in solemn truth I had hidden these feelings as much from myself as from you.To my eternal shame, two nights ago, in an act of unconscionable passion through my weakness, I let this fire burn uncontained.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> Orchid, I trust and know that you have the elevation of mind to understand that I have never wished to force myself into your life, and yet through your caring caresses and patience when I needed you most, you have perhaps unknowingly nurtured a bond between my heart and yours. This tenderness enveloped and made physical just this long evening past. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> I cannot with ease forget, the soft warm pressure of your body,the fullness of you lips, the softness of your skin; it is seared into my mind and yet this fervent indiscretion is as nothing to the power that you hold over my heart. But I know now that I was right to hide this, to bury it deep, for I see that these feelings are not shared that there is no fire burning in you for me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> I acknowledge the great generosity of your heart, and consider myself highly honoured to be called a friend, a gift of inestimable value. Could I prevail with myself to prefer to peace of mind, the enjoyment of your affections at a cost to poor dear Rip? I know that in all good conscience I cannot and as I have been very sincere, I beg that you both trust once again that I will conceal this love which afflicts me. I cannot extinguish this, no more did I bid it come than can I cast it out. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> I have run out of space before sentiment, please turn over. </span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwc6vnR1InwdzwK7fVc-6QQw4IDoZ-ARtp4w50a9ywDZFKtYzTP5ocwpiI6DZE1jVzYh3xZhuadBeloY3rvfPYWzzi6h9SF82qqi-Ji4QMaUTm1n_vf_8pO_t_Rply3u60MYH6jsGt5vyv/s1600-h/apology+letter+to+orchid+page2_flat.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 233px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwc6vnR1InwdzwK7fVc-6QQw4IDoZ-ARtp4w50a9ywDZFKtYzTP5ocwpiI6DZE1jVzYh3xZhuadBeloY3rvfPYWzzi6h9SF82qqi-Ji4QMaUTm1n_vf_8pO_t_Rply3u60MYH6jsGt5vyv/s320/apology+letter+to+orchid+page2_flat.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283501595372876530" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">I have made my choice, and in growing certainty know that neither you nor he will need to endure my presence for long now. His anger at me is palpable and I worry that in a momentary lapse he would bring that rage upoon you. I have decided to face this wrath and speak the naked truth to Rip, indeed I would speak with him before you receive this letter.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">To the end and beyond, I remain in secret unspoken passion, ever your lover </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">Beq</span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> x</span><br /><br /><br />Shortly before midnight, tears still stinging my eyes, I had long since given up trying to avoid their falling onto the sheet, I folded the paper and sealed it into an envelope. So as not to lose my nerve I immediately set out into the streets and placed it in the post box before finally retiring to bed.Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-6403831565163872852008-12-23T13:49:00.002+00:002008-12-23T14:00:47.848+00:00Leads us not into temptationI think I have said in a previous entry, I write these notes now in retrospect, and as will become apparent from a new persepctive, hindsight is so often used to judge our actions, to damn us after the fact, but foresight, oh what pain we could be spared but for foresight.<br /><br />Nareth, had led me, rescued me perhaps from the bar, from my self-loathing and now we stood in the streets by the canal-side. Often one says that they “feel” that they are being watched, I however knew that she had her eyes fixed upon me, I could see it through the clamour of emotions in my mind, clouded and dulled by the liquor that flowed through it. We passed the journey in near silence, which was for the best, it allowed me a brief respite, concentrating on the mundane task of walking. We eventually came to my house and I invited Nareth inside. We climbed the marble stairs from the entry lobby and I slumped upon the couch, my head in my hands.<br /><br />"Do you need water? Anything?", Nareth looked down at me almost seeming concerned. Her hard features softened by an edge of worry.<br /><br />"Water would be good, thank you", She returned shortly with a cup of water. I sat, feet up upon the sofa, the cup in both hands, sipping gently until I became aware of the long silence and Nareth staring at me.<br /><br />"Nareth?", I prompted drawing her out of her trance.<br /><br />"You look ill.", she said, as if to explain her stare.<br /><br />"Do you mean to subvert the bargain?", I asked, her actions in the bar, her boldness in the face of Rip's fury had made me wonder at this.<br /><br />"I do not. I could not. However...", She paused, turning towards the windows, squinting at the sun.<br /><br />"Rip, he would have killed me, I have wronged them both"<br /><br />"Because you touched his woman? No one will harm you, Mistress. I cannot permit it."<br /><br />"but that would break the bargain"<br /><br />"No. There are many avenues open to me, physical harm is not necessary.", she turned back towards me.<br /><br />"I see, thank you Nareth", I returned my attention to the water. Nareth looked down at me, standing, hands on her hips in the centre of the room. "I am naive, you knew that, my trust of the professor has made me misjudge you and now I am caught".<br /><br />"You have many questions. Are you sober enough to listen?", she moved to one of the chairs nearby, sitting sideways to look at me. I sipped more water and nodded in answer to the question. "Yes, you were naive. My Lady had banked on that, but I have not lied; excepting by omission and I *will* not harm those two."<br /><br />I sighed, reaching down and removing my boots and relaxing a little, and rubbing my feet. Nareth sniffed the air, flaring her nostrils slightly.<br /><br />"I told them never to trust you, and then fell into it myself, but the choice, the choice I made", I paused, Nareth blinked, but made no reply. "Accepting destruction or facing it, is it still true?"<br /><br />"Yes."<br /><br />"Then I must shed this self interest, this pitiful mess you have witnessed today it serves no purpose but to extend the misery and hurt, you were right again"<br /><br />"Might I offer a very small bit of advice, Mistress?", I turned to face Nareth. "Do not make deals lightly, not with the likes of me. Mind the language of all such arrangements, even in the smallest of ways. What is done is done but...there will likely be other offers. Any demonologist would have told you....". Her voice trailed off, "...had you but asked."<br /><br />"What are you? what have you become?"<br />"You wish to hear the truth of it? Plainly spoken?", I rubbed my temples.<br /><br />"the plainer the better I think"<br /><br />"As you wish....I am not precisely Nareth Nishi. But then, I'm not sure she ever was, either. She fell in love with an English woman named Mina Murray. Together, and with the help of Elenore Darwin, they fought...the one who made me. They believed that they had killed him...but...", Nareth paused and staring at the floor. "That which is deathlesss cannot die.", she halted, looking back up. "We are bound now, you and I. That is why I can walk in the sun. In a sense, you have freed me. This would be easier...if you asked specific questions. Very specific."<br /><br />"Specific questions?"<br /><br />"Generalities can be fatal. Or worse."<br /><br />"Is Mina gone?"<br /><br />"Yes."<br /><br />"I'm sorry", I would never have been so careless with my questions had I been sober, but right then I could see no other route to the question. Nareth looked down at her feet. "It was her choice."<br /><br />"and Nareth she is within you but you are not her?"<br /><br />"I have all that she ever was... But I am, precisely, her. I am the Messenger. "<br /><br />"The thing that was destroyed, was not destroyed perhaps."<br /><br />"Which thing?"<br /><br />"The one who made you, you spoke of him and you and Mina"<br /><br />"Vlad Tepes. That is how he was known to men.". I swallowed at this name, it was the name I had not known, the bone... "Nyarlathotep, the black pharaoh"<br /><br />"it was his bone"<br /><br />"Yes."<br /><br />"he binds us"<br /><br />"And the soil of my grave. We are bound...", Nareth cleared her throat. "There are things, Mistress, that predate this universe. This reality. Relics from the Dark Times. A time, Mistress, when the universe, this cosmos, was very much smaller than it now is. A time of Chaos, when my Lady ruled. I am trying to speak plainly."<br /><br />"Would you have that time return? Would she?"<br /><br />"She desires this, yes. I have come to prepare the way. The dice are rolling.". I closed my eyes, the clash of voices in my head and ears disorienting and fierce, the alcohol now wearing off, "I am sorry Nareth, my mind is laboured, I hear your answers before you speak them, your voice an echo, in my current state it takes a moment to assimilate the facts.”<br /><br />"Because, Mistress, we are bound. I have gifted you with my...will."<br /><br />"May I.. try something?"<br /><br />"As you wish.", I closed my eyes so as to better focus and imagined a message to Nareth, spoke without a voice.<br /><br /><strong><em>“Can you hear me?”<br />“Yes, which is as it should be.”</em></strong><br /><br />I smiled<br /><br />"There is never any distance between our minds.", Nareth looked on, her face unmoved.<br /><br />“It might take some getting used to"<br /><br />"Likely so."<br /><br />"to speak without voice so unnatural"<br /><br />"There are very many voices in my head...but you hear only mine."<br />I sipped once more at the water, before placing it on the floor and removing my coat and boa.<br /><br />"That word...", Nareth's took on a look of distaste, "Unnatural. You would do best to lose it. It only brings you harm and you mean unfamiliar, not unnatural, in this instance."<br /><br />"I have a lot to learn", I said apologetically, Nareth nodded, watching me. After a few seconds, I spoke again, another question, "When will she arrive?"<br /><br />"Labyrinth may only arrive when the way has been prepared. The time is not predetermined. Many things must happen first or ..only a few. The dice are still rolling."<br /><br />" This is your role, your part to play out?"<br /><br />"Yes, Mistress. I am the Messenger. I am the wind before the storm. I accepted the role. Mina..did not."<br /><br />"Who was Lucy?"<br /><br />"Lucy Westenra.. A close friend of Mina's. She died...in England, before we chased Tepes to Transylvania."<br /><br />"You mentioned her last night. Like Lucy and Mina you said"<br /><br />"They were...close. I took Lucy's place when she died."<br /><br />"Did you kill Lucy?"<br /><br />"No, Mistress. The Black Pharaoh took her. The Impaler and then, when she was undead, Van Helsing finished her."<br /><br />"I see, I am sorry, my questions are so unkind"<br /><br />"I would not know, Mistress. It is no matter I serve you."<br /><br />"Then whose body do you wear?"<br /><br />"She was a woman from the Orient, a mystic seeking the Messenger. I killed her.<br /><br />" She found what she sought then", I picked up my glass from the floor, returning it to my lips.<br /><br />"Indeed. She died in joy."<br /><br />"in joy...?"<br /><br />"Yes. It is joyous, the face of my lady. I would show you...but...", Nareth trails off.<br /><br />"but? But what Nareth?”<br /><br />"Your mind is not that strong, Mistress. Later, when you are ready. Much must happen before then or only very little. The dice are still rolling."<br /><br />"How much does Elenore know of you?"<br /><br />"More than I would like. She suspects I am no longer Nareth Nishi. She was there...when the Impaler fell. She is..not who you think."<br /><br />"Will you tell me who she is then? You spoke a Gallifrey, I think it was, it means little to me."<br />"It was a planet. Elenore was born there. Long, long ago. Nareth Nishi was created to allow her to travel, and to protect her, in the event of certain crises situations."<br /><br />"Is she the one we feared? The one who sought the navigator?", I thought back to last year, a time that seemed so far removed from now.<br /><br />"It is complicated. Nareth Nishi was a machine, in essence. A living machine.She malfunctioned. She denied her own protocol. She wanted to be a living woman. But...she carried Elenore's DNA, that the Gallifreyan could be reborn when it was safe. The daughter is, in fact, the one who made Elenore, that Nareth could one day be her mother. Elenore is, in a sense, her own mother.". The circular concepts, the overlayed echoes of mind and sound, the stirring of old memories, my mind swam. "Nareth is, in a sense, her daughter. Elenore hopes to stop what is coming. That is why we went to England. To 1897. But...she failed.". Nareth stopped, then watching me carefully, stood up slowly, moving carefully, making no threatening moves. I barely noticed, focused on my water and keeping my mind steady.<br /><br />“Can she travel alone, without Nareth, is she stranded here?”<br /><br />“She can travel, yes. She has built a new machine". Nareth gazed towards the streets.<br /><br />"Are you OK Nareth?"<br /><br />"Yes, Mistress."<br /><br />"Should I call you that? Nareth I mean"<br /><br />"If you wish."<br /><br />"What would you wish? What would you have me call you?", Nareth turned to face me, her face unreadable.<br /><br />"The woman who wore this skin before me was named Sang Li.But...that name would raise further suspicions.". I finished my water and dropping the cup to the ground I attempted to stand, still a little unsure of my balance, Nareth watched, a look something near concern upon her face. "There are things I must teach you. Many things."<br /><br />"I am sorry Nareth, last night, I made mistake, and I will pay for that. But I have myself to blame for that not you."<br /><br />"There is no blame, Mistress.This is one of the lessons.". Nareth reached up and removing her goggles, squinting at the daylight.<br /><br />"The cost weighs on me, but I understand, you have shown me that the choice remains the same. If I was willing to risk all to save...to change things, then I cannot expect any less".<br /><br />"That is correct, Mistress.", I stood looking for a while into the sad beauty of the face of Sang Li, She flinched, perhaps under my gaze, perhaps as she suggested, simply the light. "The light is still difficult. So very much of it."<br /><br />"I feel it, the burning"<br /><br />"But...that will end. Oh...yes.. You will feel the sun now...more and more each day. It may become uncomfortable. We are so bound. When my Lady comes, the sun will die. All stars will die. I...she..has devoured worlds". Nareth paused for a moment, "May I ask a question of you?"<br /><br />"Of course"<br /><br />"Do you now feel my hunger..desire..passion...?", a pause, she knew the answer, where was this going? "Yes...?", she prompted again, I swallowed.<br /><br />"yes" I murmured, Nareth smiled.<br /><br />"Do not fear it, but also, you must not let it consume you, not yet.". It was only then, for the first time that I saw, revealed, the fangs in her mouth, she saw me step back and laughed softly. "I may not teach you anything you do not desire to learn. There are rules."<br /><br />My mind raced as the desires and hungers formed as images and sensations in my mind, my heart pounded in my chest.<br /><br />"I would not si...would not wish to be more or less than I am Nareth, I would not live like you, on gutter vermin.". Nareth looked up at me, a smile briefly alighting on her lips as I struggled to pick more pleasing phraseology.<br /><br />"It is not my desire to eat rats, Mistress.", Nareth took a step nearer to me, hesitating, I took a further half step backwards<br /><br />"Regardless of the mistakes you have made...I do feel your appetite, Beq Janus and I offer you the means by which to satiate it. I belong to you, in a sense. I may not refuse.".<br /><br />"My appetite?"<br /><br />"Yes. Your hungers. What you would have taken yesterday from Miss McMillan", her lips curled into a smile, "for example".<br /><br />"hunger and desire are one"<br /><br />"If you would have it so."<br /><br />"But Nareth, there is more than just hunger"<br /><br />"Surely. Love?"<br /><br />"I hunger for Orchid, for her love indeed but that cannot be sated by another."<br /><br />"I felt that yesterday. There are very few limitations on what I am capable of doing, Mistress. The dice are rolling."<br /><br />I blinked, Orchid was stood in front of me, where moments before Nareth had been, and dressed just as she had been the night before.<br /><br />"Orchid?"<br /><br />"Yes, Beq?", She reached out a hand toward me.<br /><br />"You have come back?"<br /><br />"I have. I was wrong, Beq.". I reached out taking Orchid's proffered hand<br /><br />The illusion faded, and Orchid's appearance melted away, Nareth/ Sang Li back where Orchid had been.<br /><br />"So, you see. Anything you wish."<br /><br />"no! Orchid!", I had been tricked the illusion so perfectly formed. Nareth laughed and turned away.<br /><br />I sighed, accepting the lesson.<br /><br />"I see".<br /><br />"Accept what is, Beq Janus. Accept what you have. What you may yet have. Do not cling to these old notions. They will drag you down.", Nareth turned back to face me once more. I stared into the black wells of her eyes. Looking for some hint, a clue to suggest that this was more than simple mockery of a foolish girl.<br /><br />"Your eyes are so dark, so deep Nareth.”<br /><br />“My eyes were given me by my Lady. They are a splinter if her being. They are not deep...They have no bottom."<br /><br />"I am so lost now, Nareth, my hunger for Orchid is defied by illusion but love..", I thought upon the ease at which Ihad been fooled could human emotions be so frail as to fall for the illusion. Could love be tricked?<br /><br />"You must learn new ways of perceiving. Take what you want, what you *need*. This hunger and love need not limit you.". Still staring, I raised my hand to Nareth's face, to touch the skin, Sang Li's skin. Nareth cocked her head to one side, smiling, inviting me forward.<br /><br />"I can show you other eyes, if these do not please you."<br /><br />"You are warm. I I did not expect that".<br />"Yes..you gave me warmth again. Your warmth. It will help deflect suspicion. I may even breath if necessary", I stepped back.<br /><br />I .. cannot, that thought alone, the feeding, it lives i my mind", Nareth looked confused.<br /><br />"It should live in your mind."<br /><br />"Try as I might it ...it... disgusts me, I am sorry, I sought a better word but had none"<br /><br />"You are part of this now.",Nareth's nostrils flared slightly. A wound on Nareth's throat suddenly opened. She touched the wound with an index finger, dabbing it with blood."It is only blood, Mistress. And blood is only life. You eat blood, when it has been cooked.", I looked at the blood, as it glistened, a deep ruby claret on the skin of Nareth's neck, "but...fresh...it is so much sweeter. Living and warm. The blood is the life.". My mind had became a maelstrom once again, Nareth's voice mixed with my own, both voices echoing across a raging sea of visions, images from Nareth's past, temptations, lust, a kiss, the warmth of embrace."It is only a very small wound. A kiss.". With these words, feelings and images rose in my mind, two lovers entwined, their passions...". I licked my lips, swallowed nervously. "It is yours, if you so wish...". Nareth held the index finger out to Beq, the blood glistening. "A small kiss...".<br /><br />My mind surged, the waves of images parted and reformed, I saw myself, I saw Orchid, naked laid out before me, as I was drinking, kissing, sucking blood from her throat. A vivid image but somehow not repellent, overlaid with the pull of sexual tension, lust, satisfaction. An angry cry rose inside me. I shook the image from my mind. Nareth shuddered slightly.<br /><br />"No, Nareth. I...you don't want this"<br /><br />"You are not weak, Mistress. That is good but...you *do* want...". Nareth looks at her bloody fingertip."We pursued him to his castle in the Borgo Pass. We thought we had won. We were so...arrogant."<br /><br />"but I .. if, If I do, the sun, we must both live in darkness", Nareth blinked, coming back to here and now.<br /><br />"No, Mistress. It is no longer that simple, you have created the Talisman. True, in sunlight, I am weaker...and all my abilities may not manifest, but I do not burn, and I have a reflection...The same would be true of you."<br /><br />"Not that I have offered to give you *that* gift. It would take far more than a taste. A kiss. Far more.", I found myself captivated by my companion, she seemed almost delicate. I stroked Nareth's hair avoiding the wound, and she closed her eyes a moment, smiling. "I have almost forgotten....touch..", Nareth opened her eyes again, regarding me with a curious air.<br /><br />"What of the kiss? What becomes of me?"<br /><br />"You know what I am, in a way that sight and smell and shared thought cannot teach you. Some of the weight falls away."<br /><br />"the weight...", as if to support this my mind filled with the heaviness of heart.<br /><br />"I know it is so very, very heavy. Like the weight at the bottom of the sea. I have felt it."<br /><br />"It is my burden"<br /><br />"It need not be.", Nareth looked at me, at my face my body, my breasts. I felt the urge to let my hand rise to touch her again, but held it, holding back the emotions. "Burden...is not necessary. Be free.". The image of Orchid still stood fresh in my mind, the sensation, and something new, the guilt<br /><br />"free"<br /><br />"Take what you may. Do not deny yourself because you cannot have all you wish. Yet.", The cascade and swirl of image and emotion whipped to a frenzy once more, my breathing became shallow and fast. "It is a lie...all this talk of burden...It is a lie...and I may only speak the truth to you". Nareth spoke passionately, almost angrily. My head snapped up meeting Nareth's gaze, the moment lost, the tide turned. "Do not live in the lies men tell, because they are afraid of the night.". I looked at the darkness outside. "Let me show you a fraction.". Nareth looks at her hands and the wound in her throat begins, slowly, to close.<br /><br />The images in my mind collapsed and faded in utter darkness for a moment, and then spiralling galaxies, and then Nareth's eyes again. I stumbled, a feeling of vertigo overtaking me.<br /><br />"There is so much I can show you...So much". The wound was closed, I stared at the skin where the wound had been. Nareth turned and marched to the balcony doors, flinging them open and stepping out into the night air. I followed her. Nareth's feet began to rise from the balcony, and in a moment she was hovering a few inches above the floor. I watched in astonishment as Nareth took flight and within a few moments there was no sign of her.<br /><br /><strong><em>"Good night, mistress"</em></strong>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-72518118958467948102008-12-20T17:57:00.003+00:002008-12-20T18:54:30.391+00:00A friend in need...<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">It is often said that a true friend is by your side when you need them. A true friend I would add is one who can see beyond mistakes, but does one truly deserve such friends, how does one justify such kindness.<br /><br />I had not slept well that night, the night that followed my debasement. My mind echoed visions from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nareth's</span> past, though visions does no justice to the sensation, for it is not seeing but absorbing, the suggestion of smell, sight, heat, taste, sound and feel of the memory wraps around me as in the most vivid night terrors. Yet these terrors did not cease when I opened my eyes, I had become now somewhat accustomed to their presence but I could not escape them. When she is awake I feel her, she feels me, sifting <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">through</span> my mind with the fingers of her mind. "Mistress", she calls me. "Mistress...." and in that first day, it was too much for me to bear; the memory of what I had done, the destruction of my friendships, the exposure of those fears, and desires that I had kept perhaps even from myself, alongside the constant presence in my head.<br /><br />I did not leave my bed that day until early afternoon, crawling into my clothes and slipping downstairs, peering guiltily out of the windows in case anyone was watching me.I forced <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">myself</span> to eat something, some day old bread and a small hunk of cheese, washed down with a glass or two of wine.I sat down many times to write a letter, a letter to Orchid, something to explain what had happened.How much of what had happened had been stirred within me? I knew now that I had suppressed my feelings, buried them deep for many years. Since <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Tali's</span> death I had not dared let anyone near me, I could not bear that hurt again, but that didn't mean that my heart had not yearned for companionship but that I had simply become deaf and blind to its calls. By late afternoon I'd managed only to fill my wastepaper bin with paper and shed enough tears to fill a bath. It would be dark within the next few hours, she would awake, the noise in my head, the pressure of the darkness of her coffin,was as nothing to the invasive sensations when she awoke. I finished the wine I had and grabbed my coat. A short walk to the square taught me about paranoia, every person I saw seemed to be looking at me, I imagined the words that dripped from their lips, words that I could not commit to paper here. I hid deeper in my coat and wandered faster across the town then down into the canals where I found refuge in Loki's bar. The bar was empty, I grabbed a bottle of imported beer from the bar, leaving a selection of coins in the brass ashtray by the till.<br /><br />I took up a seat in one of the darker alcoves by the window, shaded by the imposing Imperial. I drank to be numb, to escape. Surely if I could not feel my own thoughts, my own hurt, I would not be able to feel her either. Through numerous beers, whiskey and vodka I sought the solace of the pitiful drunkard, full of self-loathing and self-pity I set myself firmly upon a path of self destruction. The first beer prompted another which was joined by a bottle of vodka, and so the night arrived and I barely noticed <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Nareth</span> any more.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3112/3122523455_d0d199c91f.jpg?v=0"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3112/3122523455_d0d199c91f.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It was in this state that Orchid found me, though in all honesty I wish that she had not. She entered the bar and did not see me hidden in the corner, for my part I was to wrapped up in my own misery to notice who had arrived. I reached out to a bottle to refill my glass, misjudged and sent the bottle clattering across the table, scattering the other bottles arrayed there. Orchid had collected her own drink and hearing the noise walked toward the booth.<br /><br />"Oh, Excuse me, are you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">alr</span>-", Orchid stopped <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">mid sentence</span> seeing who it was in the booth. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Beq</span>? Don't... don't tell me you drank all of that yourself??". I looked up, unfocused though the haze of alcohol and self loathing. Orchid shook her head, lips curved in a frown, and whispered, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Beq</span>, I'm so sorry..". I sat up as best as I could, hearing Orchid's voice. Blinking I wiped my hand across one eye and then the other.<br /><br />"Orchid?", I backed into the shadows, "leave me. I .. I am not worth it". Orchid moved slowly toward the table, placing her hands on the edge, leaning downward.<br /><br />"No! I won't. I've told you I'm your friend, no matter what. You are worth my time or I would have stormed out on you much sooner and never bothered trying to talk sense into you. I... I can't lose you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Beq</span>.". Orchid slipped into the booth and sat opposite me. Glancing at the bottles, mentally counting the amount of liquid <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Beq</span> must have consumed.<br /><br />"I lost me, Orchid, not you. So stupid. She tricked me."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Beq</span>, there's no shame in being tricked by such a mastermind. She's within you now, as you're within her! How could you not succumb?", I dropped my head, staring at the table.<br /><br />"In me.. yes. No way out, but still me.". Orchid took a long sip from her absinthe.<br /><br />At that moment, Rip walked in.<br /><br />"You here <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Orch</span>...", Orchid looked up, unsure what to say. Rip looked at me and was silent. Orchid forced a smile.<br /><br />"Look who beat me to a drink before I got here Rip..", she laughed nervously. Rip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Wirefly</span> 's mouth tightened a bit and Orchid, broke away form his gaze, staring at the table, dropping her head into her hands.<br /><br />I saw my empty glass and started to reach out. Orchid stretched across the table, pulling the glass from me. I grabbed for it, knocking the bottles again. Orchid frowned, glaring at me.<br /><br />Rip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Wirefly</span> 's eyes narrowed<br />"Rip? He knows? Knows what I have done?", I stared straight ahead not meeting Rip's gaze, Orchid McMillan whispered softly, almost silently.<br /><br />"yes, yes he does". I looked down in desolation<br /><br />"I have hurt the ones I love. You and Rip are dear to me, both of you".<br />Rip strode over to the table, knocking over a nearby chair in the process, I shifted back in my chair, creeping in to the corner and Orchid cowered as the chair crashed to the floor.<br /><br />"He is right to be angry. I have messed it all up". I looked at the empty bottles.<br /><br />"No, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Beq</span>, no more alcohol. You can't just drown this away.". Rip growled a reprimand as Orchid buried her face in her hand before falling back <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">against</span> the bench with a huff, balling her hands into fists, her eyes shut tight.<br /><br />"It keeps her quiet"<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Nareth</span>?", Orchid asked, peering through her hands.<br /><br />"She is there, in me, through me"<br /><br />"I just never thought someone I cared for, someone I respected, would betray me in such a way". Rip's voice was low and gruff, his fists clenched.<br /><br />"Betray...", I sighed.<br /><br />"Is that not a proper word to use?", I buried my head into my knees, drawing them up like a shield before me. "A betrayal of trust?". Orchid sniffed her eyes shining with tears, staring up at the ceiling, avoiding all eye contact. "I always thought, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Beq</span> is strong, she can take anything on, do anything, she is true to all she cares about". Rip shook his head. A single tear let go running down Orchid's cheek.<br /><br />"I failed you Rip, I failed you all, she tricked me, she has me now. I have nothing left, I am spent. She wins.". Rip slammed his hand on the table, the bottles jumping. I yelped, pressing back in fear, trying to hide in the soft leather of the couch. Then Orchid McMillan screamed out,<br /><br />"Just stop it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Beq</span>! She wins when you give up!"<br /><br />"That is not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Beq</span> speaking.", it was Rip, his voice stern but calmer, "The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Beq</span> I see in front of me is not one that I know. One that fights against anything and does NOT give in".<br /><br />"I took the fight, the choice, to forfeit my life, maybe, but to the right end."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Beq</span> do you not see? You have hurt us horribly and we are still here with you, despite how angered we are you give up hope too easily."<br /><br />"but it was false, she tricked me. She controls me as much as I her."<br /><br />"then get over it and realize that you still have control over her. She may have some control but you have that much over her too".<br /><br />"You said it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Beq</span>,", Orchid sat forward, supporting Rip's words with her own. "As soon as the charm was finished... you said you had control!"<br /><br />Then suddenly, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Nareth</span> was there, in my mind, confused by the haze.<br /><br />"Are you "over it" Rip?", Orchid McMillan glances at Rip.<br />"How can I be? But at the present you need to look past it."<br /><br />"So I must look beyond the ruin of all I hold as right, beyond the damage but you can simmer and boil?"<br /><br />"I know I ask of a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">diffucult</span> thing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">beq</span>, but do you not see how much it tears me up inside to just speak to you right now?", Rip turned away, a glint of a tear welling in his eye. Orchid reached out towards Rip, then retracted her arm, unsure of herself.<br /><br />"She is near. She comes". Orchid sat upright quickly, glancing towards the door.<br />"H-how near?"<br />"close"<br /><br /><i><b>"Do you feel me Mistress?"</b></i><br /><br />"I feel you.".<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Nareth</span> entered, closing the door. Orchid seeing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Nareth</span> slid towards the wall, curling her legs up close.<br /><i><b><br />"That is good, I am with you."</b></i><br /><br />"Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Wirefly</span>...."<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Nareth</span>". <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Nareth</span> watched me cowering in the corner.<br /><br />"Am I interrupting?", Orchid wiped at her eyes with her sleeve, trying to conceal her tears.<br /><br />"About in the day again I see."<br /><br />"Yes...why shouldn't I be?"<br /><br /><i><b>"You are not well."<br /></b></i><br />"Not well, hurting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Nareth</span>, I see too much"<br /><br />"I have seen you but once in the day", continued Rip ignoring <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Beq's</span> random interjection. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Nareth</span> smiled very slightly.<br /><br />"Well, twice now. Your point?"<br /><br />"There is none."<br /><br />"Clearly."<br /><br />"but a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">statement</span>"<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Nareth</span> looks back to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Beq</span>.<br /><i><b>"Do you require assistance?"<br /></b></i>Orchid McMillan tips back the rest of her absinthe quickly, slamming the empty glass to the table.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Beq</span> Janus looks from Orchid to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Nareth</span> and back<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nareth</span> stands very still, very quiet.<br /><i><b> "I've done as we agreed. They are unharmed.</b></i>"<br /><br />"Unharmed? that is not so".<br /><br />"They are both...alive and well, are they not?", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Nareth</span> reverted to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">speach</span>.<br /><br />"They hurt, they hurt because of me."<br /><br />"But..not because of me."<br /><br />Orchid McMillan glares sharply at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Nareth</span><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44"></span>"Ergo..."<br /><br />"because of us"<br /><br />"Let's not argue semantics."<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">Nareth</span> turns and watches Rip a moment.<br /><br />"It would be beneficial, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">Beq</span>, if we spoke. We should have spoken <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">spooner</span>..."<br /><br />"More half truths?"<br /><br /><br /><b><i>"I have not lied to you."</i></b><br /><br />"lied? no. I failed to ask"<br /><br /><br /><b><i>"I was not required to be forthcoming. And I have kept my word. And you now hold my reins."</i></b><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Nareth</span> moved nearer the booth looking very closely at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Beq</span>. Orchid slid far into the corner as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Nareth</span> came near.<br /><br />"No! stand back <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Nareth</span>"<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Beq</span>, tell her not to fear me."<br /><br />"I could not harm her...not now."<br /><br />"But later?", Orchid muttered, shyly, barely audible<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54"></span>.<br /><br />"No", I replied as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Nareth</span> turned towards Orchid.<br /><br />"No.", she echoed.<br /><br />"The bargain was made, I will never harm you, Orchid."<br /><br />"And Rip? The one I love?", I looked away at Orchids words, a sting I had not expected.<br /><br /><br />"Nor him.", Orchid stared at the flickering candle. "I did not relish this arrangement...but.,...it is unbreakable.". Rip looked from the professor to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Beq</span>. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Beq</span>, you've had much too much to drink.", she barked, almost matronly. Orchid McMillan laughed nervously.<br /><br />"Enough to rest"<br /><br /><i><b>You are only causing them more pain, I think.</b></i><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">Nareth</span> stands firm, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">still</span> watching Orchid.<br />"you are right <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">Nareth</span>, no more pain"<br /><br />Orchid McMillan reaches the Professor's glare for a moment, before quickly looking away, staring off to the far wall<br /><br />"Come with me, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Beq</span>.", I tried to stand, my legs buckling under me at first, but with the assistance of the table I stood and took <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">Nareth's</span> outstretched hand, looking at Rip, then Orchid, as I did. Orchid turned her gaze to Rip, her grip tight on the table<br /><br />"They are safe. From me."<br /><br />"Semantics..", muttered Orchid<br /><br />"That is a start, I suppose. Shall I walk you home, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Beq</span>? You need to sleep. To rest...". For a moment I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">wavered</span>, looking back at Orchid and then nodded.<br /><br />"Miss McMillan, Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Wirefly</span>. I trust I will see both both again soon."<br /><br />"I know we will", uttered Rip, his face hard. Orchid forced a smile, looking up only briefly and we left.<br /><br />The cold air rushed in to my head causing me to stumble but started to clear my head a little<br />I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">glanced</span> back into the bar as we left, worried as to what the anger in Rip might bring him to do.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9064340925385709703.post-30969333575954710042008-12-16T23:49:00.002+00:002008-12-17T00:12:47.506+00:00Caught in her spell<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">I write this entry with a heavy heart, I know I will not get to the end without decaying into tearful distress. I write now, and I write hurriedly for she sleeps and as she sleeps she cannot know my mind. Yet as I sit here I know hers, I see the lurid complexity of her dreams, the abandonment of care and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">consideration</span> for lust and pleasure, the thrill of sensation <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">triumphant</span> over the sense of shame. It is a hedonistic world that I have never seen, save the poor man's decadence of sex slavery, seen through the eyes of the child I once was. I have not lived a day of such debauchery as this and yet my mind is filled with memories, with passions and desires.<br /><br />So within these pages I must record my descent, my fall into her realm, so that one day these words will stand testimony to my innocence or my guilt, in the seduction of my dearest friend. The start of my deterioration, the destruction of all that I am, all that I was at least. I must record this quickly for I do not know now how long my inner <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">strength</span> will evade this disease.<br /><br />It was perhaps but a week ago, the night after a hearty meal with Rip and Orchid, hearty but dour and downcast, my melancholy mood clouding the conversation. I had shared with my friends the choice that I had made, a bargain against my own life for the hope of... fro a hope now dashed and broken on the rocks of naivety; a bargain with deceit, sweet deceit as she would say. Yet, then still my naivety, my optimism and faith in humanity prevailed, I needed them to know, I would need their help and if the events came to pass and I were not to return, I would need someone to take care of my affairs, my properties, my business, and my charge <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">PollyAnna</span>. Poor Polly, who but a few days before had asked that I be her mother. How could I in good conscience seek to adopt a young child as I knowingly prepared for my own death in events that any court would dismiss as lunacy, and quite rightly too.<br /><br />I spoke to them of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Nareth</span>, and to what she had become, expanding on what I had told them the previous evening, seeking to be less cryptic. I chose not to reveal the details of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Nareth's</span> fall into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">vampirism</span>. If that exposed them to further threat than it was best left unsaid at this juncture. I spoke of gods, of the elder gods, for these they knew of, surely everyone living in Babbage knows at least some of the tales of the Eliot device by now. I spoke of her Lady, the Outer, but chose not to name her. Finally I came to the choice I had made, the decision and the talisman that would empower me to change the fate of the world. It was late when they left and I knew then that I would be in a position to make the charm the next day. Orchid had promised then that she would join me, I could not have expected her to make such an offer, it is a personal thing, a delicate subject, the bleeding, to suggest that you might be there with a friend was bold and to do so unbidden knowing that I was playing with forces none of us understood, was a beautiful and kind thing; such trust and friendship, so bitterly repaid. Finally, I conveyed to them the threat, and the additional bargain, the final twist of deceit that began my corruption. I explained how the evening before, as I had walked back from the lake having skated with Rip and Orchid, the professor had stopped, watching from the steps into the palisade as Rip and Orchid held one another, how she had goaded me and what I had bargained for their safety.<br /><br />I had not slept properly for at least three nights, my dreams haunted by the imagined demons of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Nareth's</span> domain. My mental state had not been helped by an additional, if not unexpected physical strain, for I had that morning, to use the polite term of the ladies of the old continent, been blessed; my monthly bleed had commenced, it was time to make good on the agreement with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Nareth</span>. Early that afternoon, I went into the garden and selected a good sized sprig of sage leaves which I duly duly laid upon a cotton gauze and placed within the gusset of my bloomers so as to absorb the menstrual blood required by the charm; initially itchy but not overly discomforting, it thus remained held against my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">motte</span> for the remainder of the day.<br /><br />It was not long after that I began to feel fear creeping over me, settling this with a small gin, I continued about my chores, busying myself for the sake of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">diversion</span>. As the day moved towards evening Orchid arrived, punctual as ever. I showed her in taking her coat, we stood, awkwardly, skirting around what awaited us for a while, exchanging banal pleasantries.<br /><br />"I need a drink to steel my nerves, can I get you something?", Orchid smiled and nodded.<br />"Yes, perhaps that would be good for me too. A vodka please". I found a large shot glass and filled it. "Do you have any idea what will happen when you finish?", she asked.<br /><br />I didn't know, in truth I had no way of knowing if it had even worked. What would I feel?<br /><br />"Orchid, it means a lot to me, truly, that you would even want to be near me for such a thing as this", I shuddered at the thought, it is a strange thing but to take your own bodily fluids and use them as if they were simple ingredients in a meal.<br />Orchid laughed. "I know it's not glamorous, but, it's not like, well, I guess the whole charm thing I've never seen before.. but, you know, the rest is nothing new! And, I just want to make sure you are safe."<br />I smiled back, my worries ebbing away now, I was so lucky to have such a friend as her.<br />We drained our glasses and grabbing a bottle of wine and two glasses, I nodded toward the stairs.<br />"Shall we?", then holding the bottle aloft added, "we may as well keep our courage topped up."<br />"It'd be strange if we did not."<br /><br />As we entered my bedroom I indicated the towel I had laid a towel upon the floor, and lifting the box from the bedside cabinet where it had been kept, I sat upon the towel, placing the incomplete charm between my feet.<br /><br />Orchid stared at the box, "It is strange, I had expected there to be some chant or incantation or other", I said, noting her cautious examination. "but its just...", I opened the box, exhaling as I did, "just a bone, and some soil, soil from her casket"<br /><br />"Then there's nothing? Just... the.. addition?", she paused, I nodded, a shiver ran through her. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Beq</span>? When this is over, is there a way to reverse all of this?"<br /><br />I shook my head, I did not know, when it was all over, all over, finished, it would probably no longer matter to me.<br /><br />Orchid McMillan frowned, swallowing, she had refused to accept my own resignation to fate. Her optimism is perhaps her greatest strength.<br />I poured Orchid a large goblet of wine and then poured myself one<br /><br />"Please take a seat, no point you just standing there", Orchid dropped herself into the leather reading chair placing her wine glass on the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">broad</span> arm. We both sat for a while, I on the floor, Orchid close at hand, sipping heavily at our wine. I stood, unbuttoned my trousers and stepped out of them<br /><br />I stood, unbuttoning my trousers, stepping out of them and letting them fall to the ground. I smiled shyly as I sat back on the floor, my back to Orchid to preserve my modesty.<br />Orchid nervously glanced away as I sat down, stuttering slightly, "I-if you need anything, just, just ask, okay?"<br />I reached out for my wine, swallowing a large mouthful, holding the glass in front of me for a moment watching the wine settle.<br /><br />"Thanks, its silly, I am so .... scared. Yet all I'm doing is putting a few things in a box"<br />Behind me I heard Orchid gulp more of her wine down before shifting in her seat settling forward and placing her hands firmly on my shoulders.<br /><br />"it's okay, I mean, I am too... it's not like this is something you do everyday, right?"<br /><br />Orchid's fingers gently massaged my shoulders, helping me to relax, a tactile reminder of the friendship that supported me.I rested back a little leaning against Orchid's legs.<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8504043@N05/3114589340"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3107/3114589340_d578f7386c.jpg" /></a><br />"thanks, that feels nice, reassuring. Right here we go".<br /><br />I took in a deep breath, letting out slowly and then raising myself off of the ground, slid my bloomers down to my knees then reaching down between my legs pulled out the wad of gauze, now saturated with my menstrual blood.Orchid gently moved her hands along my shoulders. Gingerly I lifts the blood soaked sage leaves from the gauze and slides them into the box, replacing the bone on top. There was nothing immediate, I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">lent</span> forward and pulled up my bloomers as Orchid <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">lent</span> forward peering over my shoulder to see into the box.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8504043@N05/3114588114"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/3114588114_b83b0d5e93.jpg" /></a><br />"Is it.. is that it?"<br /><br />There was a sudden sensation, a rushing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">in,</span> a sucking almost, I felt dizzy, as if I had stood too quickly, but it was not a brief passing sensation, the rush left behind an image, not such as you see with your eyes but perhaps as you perceive in your memory, a darkness deep and complete, and with it a smell, a damp pungent earthy atmosphere that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">clung</span> in my mind as if I had smelled it myself. and behind the darkness something else, a presence a second voice like the inner <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">vocaliser</span> of your mind, but not mine, a silent at this time. I shook my head as if to clear space for my own thoughts, this was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Nareth's</span> mind, her perception, she was relaxed, asleep, I realised.<br /><br /><br />"Ugh.. it's OK, I..I can feel her", A sudden sensation, flowed into my mind, an energy, perhaps joy, satisfaction? I must have gasped out loud as Orchid tensed.<br /><br />"Are you alright?"<br />"I think it has worked, she.. she's asleep I think", I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">lent</span> back the flow of new sensation quite overwhelming, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">making</span> me feel altogether light headed and confused.<br /><br />Orchid started to move her fingers once more. In my mind there was a flicker, the darkness becoming almost <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">imperceivably</span> less dark, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Nareth</span> had opened her eyes, the lids flicking open blinking.<br /><br />"Do you... do you feel as though you can, control her at all? Or... heaven forbid, that she has an effect on you?<br /><br /><b><i>I felt her smile, the way that her lips stuck together slightly, her lips stretching the teeth behind them. I knew also that she could sense me, and all of my senses were overlaid upon hers as hers were mine. </i></b><br /><br />"She can feel me, sh.. she knows. She...she's awake"<br /><br /><b><i>"It is done?", the voice was in my head, clear and resonant.</i></b><br /><br />"It is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Nareth</span>, it is done", I blurted out then, "Orchid, ", the in rush of sensation and sound leaving me breathless, "she is talking to me".<br /><br />"So you can feel what..what she is thinking... feeling?"<br /><br />"she...she's awake", I repeated pointlessly, reaching out for my wine glass, draining it and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">immediately</span> refilling it. "It works Orchid, I am with her, she is in my mind and I in hers,"<br /><br /><b><i>"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">yessssssss</span>", whispered <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Nareth</span>, the hiss resounding in my ears.<br /></i></b><br />"It does not hurt, its strange.", I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">lifted</span> myself on to the seat next to Orchid, still short of breath. In my mind I could feel <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Nareth</span> stirring in her coffin, digging her fingers into moldy soil and pushing aside bones. Orchid closed her eyes, breathing slowly.<br /><br />"Promise me you'll stay strong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Beq</span>... don't let her overtake you"<br /><br />"I'll be fine,", I sighed, with some form of relief, there was no pain, just this bewildering cacophony of sensation. I lay my head on Orchid's shoulder, Orchid smiled.<br /><br />"Good, you best be."<br /><br />I relayed what I could feel to Orchid, "She is in her coffin, I can feel what she feels, she is pleased". Orchid swallowed hard, nodding. then sipped down the rest of her wine, returning her empty glass to the arm of the chair.<br /><br />"Well, that was much easier than I thought it would be..."<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Nareth's</span> voice returned as the inner whisper.<br /><br /><b><i>"Now...can you see, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Beq</span> Janus?"</i></b><br /><br />"See? yes I can see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Nareth</span>, I have control."<br /><br /><b><i>"And more...", came the reply. "Yes. You have control."</i></b><br /><br />"More? I don't understand, together we will be strong", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Nareth</span> reached up, running her fingers along the underside of the coffin's lid. I felt the cold rough underside, its slightly greasy feel, the film left on her fingers. Her voice returned, stronger.<br /><br /><b><i>"Oh...she is with you. The Orchid."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid rested her hand lightly on the edge of my thigh. "Let's keep it that way."<br /><br />I felt a slight stirring at touch on my thigh, I nodded, "yes she is here"<br /><br /><b><i>"Together, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Beq</span> Janus, we will be mighty."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid pulled her hand back slowly, glancing at me, half-curious, half-frightened. I realised that she could only hear my half of the conversation, but could not recall what that conversation would have sounded like. Without thinking I reached out stopping Orchid's hand, pulling it back, resting my hand upon Orchid's.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8504043@N05/3114590656"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3281/3114590656_91d2a93d2a.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><b><i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Nareth's</span> whispering hissed in my mind, "But...the Orchid.... So sweet and fragile, and I feel the desire in you. There...with you. Together..well...you will see.</i></b><br /><br />Orchid half-smiled up at me before quickly glancing away, studying the room<br />I swallowed, and nodding, let a single word leave my lips, "yes", in my mind things were stirring, memories, feelings, some my own, others not, but intermingled, I felt dizzy.<br /><br /><b><i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Nareth</span> grew <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">suddenly</span> quiet. "You could...", a sensation rose in my abdomen, up through my spine causing my body to shiver slightly, I smiled<br /></i></b><br />Orchid, still looking away, avoiding eye contact, asked nervously. "W-what does she want?"<br /><br />"want? desire?", my breath ragged, as my mind tussled with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">bombardment</span> of images and sensations.<br /><br /><b><i>"She is yours, Mistress, if you only wish it, and if you only act."</i><br /></b><br />Orchid nodded slowly, turning back to face me. I raised my left hand to Orchid's cheek, gently running my fingers along her jaw bone pulling her face back towards me.<br /><br /><b><i>In my mind <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Nareth's</span> voice pulsed, "Desire...hunger...pleasure...she is so pure...so sweet. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nareth</span> pushed gently at her coffin lid and it cracked open a bit, then she let it fall shut again.</i><br /></b><br />"Orchid, sweet Orchid, I need you now", the words unbidden, uttered by my own tongue, words <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">seeded</span> by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Nareth</span>, but not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">unfound</span> within my own heart.<br /><br /><b><i>"Exquisite.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Nareth</span> shuddered....</i></b> Orchid looked back at me, wide-eyed and frozen. Another <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">pulse</span> of pleasure grew from pelvis, I clenched my thighs as it passed through me, I convulsed with a small sigh of pleasure.<br /><br />"So pure", another echo of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">Nareth</span>, from my lips.<br /><br />Orchid whispered, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">Beq</span>... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Beq</span>, what do you mean? I-is that you?"<br /><br /><b><i>"A purity that shames the snow, my Mistress.", my mind was a maelstrom of memories, like dreams at dawn, fleeting on the edge of recognition and crumbling back into the shadows out of reach. </i></b><br /><br />"I can feel her, so near.", Orchid glanced nervously at the windows, then to each door, fearing I was literally stating the truth. She shifted away slightly, stopped by the edge of the chair.<br /><br /><b><i>"Were I there...but no...I have made a promise....But *you*....", the last word emphasised and echoing through my mind.<br /></i></b><br /><b><i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Nareth</span> dug her fingers deeper into the mould inside her coffin.</i></b><br /><br />"but not her, everything, all she has known, all she wants to know, but it is a dream, formless", I gasped, my breath running away from me as fast as I could gather it, my heart now pounding, my mouth, salivating.<br /><br /><b><i>"Fabulous and formless, yes. This is the eye of my Lady.", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Nareth's</span> laugh, joined the echoes.</i><br /></b><br />Orchid McMillan raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to me, her expression questioning the stream of words <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">from</span> my mouthm clueless as to what I am saying. I shuddered with each breath, then raising my right hand slid it around the back of Orchid's head, running my fingers through her thick beautiful hair.<br /><br /><b><i>"It is such a small thing...", <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Nareth</span> placed an image in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Beq's</span> mind. A single drop of blood on white skin, like a single holly berry lying on the snow. So small, exquisite........yes</i><br /></b><br /><br />Orchid closed her eyes for a moment, relaxing under my fingers, then jumped, realizing perhaps that it was not Rip's hand in her hair.<br />Stuttering.<br /><br />"B-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">Beq</span>, what...what's going on?", I startled, roused briefly form the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">enchantment</span> of sensation, pulling my hand away, staring, scared, disoriented, at Orchid.<br /><br /><b><i>In my mind, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Nareth</span> licked at her dry lips, and I felt a kiss.<br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Yessssss</span>..."</i></b><br /><br />In imitation I licked my lips, lifting my hand to Orchid's neck once more pulling her closer, I closed my eyes, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">shutting</span> out the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">frightened</span> visage of Orchid.<br /><br />The cascade of sensation moved and shifted, the smell of blood, and sex, and corruption, and the stink of ancient tombs, but the odours were in no way repellent.<br /><br />"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">Beq</span>, is that you? ", Orchid pleaded<br />"It is me, yes, Orchid, there are things, things so dark ant yet, feel my heart beat."<br />I grabbed Orchid's right hand pulling it to my chest<br /><br /><b><i>"Do not fear. Do not fear your desires, Mistress."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid did not fight back, her gaze widening.<br /><br />"no fear", my words whispered, echoes.<br /><br />"The Orchid can be yours. You have only to take it.". Orchid McMillan swallowed hard. "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Yess</span>.... your heart, it beats... I-I'm sorry, what what are you trying to tell me?"<br /><br />"just ... desire"<br /><br />Orchid opened her mouth to say something, but no sound comes out as she slowly pulls her hand away. I pulled Orchid closer moving my face to hers, my lips parted, moist. In my mind the rush of sensation was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">overlayed</span> once more by a sensation of anticipation, the pull of the moon dwindling as it moved towards the western horizon, soon to sink into the sea. I stroked my fingers gently along Orchid's thigh.<br /><br /><b><i>In her coffin, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Nareth</span> laughed very, very softly.</i></b><br /><br />Orchid leaned her head back, away, slightly, her breathing heavy. "Beq...this...this isn't right"<br /><br /><b><i>"No right, Mistress. No wrong. Only desire. Satiation. Delight."</i></b><br /><br />"Not right. Not wrong. Just feelings, desire"<br /><br />Again the overlay of sensation shifts, the sun rises, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">Nareth</span> feels the light through bricks, mortar and the stone of her coffin<br /><br />My hand travelled from Orchid's thigh, jumping to stroke her stomach. I pulled Orchid's head towards me once more, my lips moving to touch,<br /><br />"Orchid...."<br /><br />An overlay of relief, of power, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Nareth</span> feels no pain from the sun.<br /><br />"I-I...yes, feelings are never wrong.. but, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">Beq</span>, actions... actions can be wrong..."<br /><br />"the sun, it warms her now, no fear any more", my lips caressed Orchid's cheek, "warmth"<br /><br />Orchid shook her head, "What do you mean?"<br /><br /><b><i>"She is so very, very warm, Mistress. She is the vessel of life."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid jerked her head away, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">Beq</span>... what, you, we, we can't do this". My hand rose to Orchid's heart, "so alive, your heart beats too Orchid don't you feel it?"<br /><br />"I, yes, I feel it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">Beq</span>... but, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">Beq</span>..."<br /><br /><b><i><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Nareth</span> pushes open the lid of the casket, and the tiny amount of ambient light getting into the sealed room is far less painful to her eyes than usual.</i></b><br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">Beq</span> Janus breaths a whisper in Orchid's ear, "freedom..."<br /><br />"Freedom?"<br /><br />"yes, nothing binds her now",<br /><br /><b><i>In my mind I shared the feelings as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">Nareth</span> step out of the casket and closed it, then moved across the room to the divan.<br /></i><br /><i>"There is joy in your heart, Beq. Teach it to the Orchid."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid shook her head, confused. I nipped playfully at Orchid's ear lobe, "joy, so...so ha happpy"<br /><b><br /><i>A new sensation, my own heartbeat echoed in Nareth's mind, the beat so strong as to disorient her.</i></b>><br /><br />"A-are you going to be alright Beq, I'm... I'm worried about you...", Orchid pulled away, grabbing Beq by the shoulders, looking straight at her. "Beq, you can't do this!"<br /><br />I blinked, "Orchid?"<br /><b><br /><i>"You are going to be wonderful...You are going to know such delights."<br /></i></b><br />Orchid looked into my eyes, her gaze softened. "Beq... I, I love Rip...". I slipped my arms beneath Orchid's, cupping her shoulder blades, drawing her back.<br /><br /><b><i>Nareth stiffened, gazing at the floorboards.<br />"No more fear...no more holding back..."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a moment<br /><br /><b><i>"I should have killed him, Mistress. For you, I should have killed him, that you might now offer her consolation."<br /></i></b><br />Beq Janus draws Orchid in, pulling her close into an embrace. But beneath the storm a stronger voice calls out<br />"no! Not him, not kill"<br /><br />Orchid jumped, turning to glare at me, anger in her eyes.<br /><br /><b><i>"He need never know a thing. Nary a word. Our secret."<br /></i></b><br />"She-she's talking about Rip, isn't she?", I nodded, fighting...struggling with my own thoughts, seeking the strength.<br /><br />"the deal, Nareth, you cannot"<br /><br />I felt unseen hands on my shoulders....strong hands...<br /><b><br /><i>"I will not, Mistress. I cannot break this bond."<br /></i></b><br />"He is safe, I made it so. He need never know"<br /><br /><b><i>"But..I am free to think. I am..free."<br /></i></b><br />Orchid's eyes fill with tears, her glare un-blinking<br />"Never know what, Beq?"<br /><br />slumping back into the tidal rush of emotion I beckoned Orchid back, raising a finger to my lips, "not a word, shhhh"<br /><br /><b><i>"A secret joy, shared between friends..."</i>, The hands, the unseen hands moved, and as they did, my back arched slightly, letting out a sigh, pushing my breasts out against the invisible caress. <i>"Not a word."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid shook her head, sliding away, "Beq.. Beq, I'm scared...". The unseen hands continue to play across my body, I feel pressure on my left nipple, as though it is being pinched very lightly between an index finger and thumb. laughter, laugter bounces across my mind.<br />I shudder, and giggle a little, my left nipple suddenly erect, standing out through the thin cotton of my vest.<br /><br />Orchid looks on, her head still shaking in confused fear. "Beq, I-this isn't you... don't let her control you"<br /><br />"just playing....fun..."<br /><br /><b><i>"I am not controling you, Mistress. Now that the Talisman is whole, I cannot control you. Tell her. You can only control me."<br /></i></b><br />Orchid bit her lip nervously as she glanced downward at my body, then quickly looked away, folding her arms protectively in front of herself<br /><br />"No control, not now, not her."<br /><br /><b>"<i>You *are* become my Mistress."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid's look turns to concern, asking slowly, "Beq.. what are you talking about?"<br /><br />"The talisman, she is mine."<br /><br /><b><i>"And such a prize you have claimed. I am...yours.... Now, claim this other. Pick the Orchid."<br /></i></b><br /><br />"She.. Nareth?"<br /><br />Such a prize, such riches", Orchid tilts her head, utterly confused as she keeps as much distance as she can on the tiny chair. I hold Orchid's elbow then pulling Orchid's arms away from her body draped them over my own shoulders. Orchid's resistance falls she lets her arms go limp on my shoulders, eyeing me nervously. I leant in to return to embrace Orchid, sliding my arm up from her hip to the side of her breast and round behind her back, running my fingers along Orchid's spine, pulling her close once more.<br /><br />I felt a gentle kiss at the nape of my neck, the unseen lover, urging my confusion onwards.<br /><br />Orchid shivered slightly at the fingers on her spine, her arms motionless. "Beq... Beq!! This can't... why? We can't do this, I-I can't...",<br />Beq Janus closes her eyes in pleasure, tilting her head back slightly, pulling Orchid forward, urging her on, bringing my hand round, slowly licking the tip of my index finger and touching it to Orchid's lips. Orchid stares, her tongue sliding slowly over her lips before shaking her head and placing her hands back on Beq's shoulders, pushing her away.<br /><br />"No, just... no...", I do not open my eyes, my hand reaches out blindly, my finger moves down, tracing across Orchid's chin and throat. Orchid keeps her hands on Beq's shoulders, arms outstretched to keep her at a distance, swallowing hard, her skin tingling slightly under Beq's touch.<br /><br /><b><i>"Killing her would have been a mercy. This one is so...torn."<br /></i></b><br />I edged forward now, shrugging off the hands at my shoulders, guiding Orchid's hands down to cup my breasts, then allowing them to seek round behind me.<br /><br />I see the laboratory, Nareth stares at brick walls and the door leading down into the lab.<br /><br />Orchid leans forward, her forehead resting on my shoulder, her tears silently soaking the thin cotton of my top. She whimpers, "Beq, please... I.. I can't.."<br /><br />I feel a hand upon my lap as I pull Orchid close, enjoying the sensation of her tears on my skin, "it's OK Orchid, there is nothng wrong, nothing to fear. "<br /><br /><b><i>"Nothing but joy."</i></b><br /><br />"yes, nothing but joy"<br /><br /><b><i>"Nothing but the love between friends."</i></b><br /><br />"Nothing but the love between friends."<br /><br />Orchid jerks her head upward, her eyes reddened and wet. "Does this look like joy?". I dab at Orchid's tears with my finger tips, holding her head, smilin sadly, kissing the tears away.<br /><br /><b><i>"Men teach us shame...and they drive it into our hearts...and they lay it between us, Mistress. The Orchid is filled with shame. Tell her, No harm will ever befall her by your hand."</i></b><br /><br />A new image overlays my mind, seeing through Nareth's eyes, without losing my own sight, I am aware as Nareth rises and goes to the door, then down into the sunlit lab.<br /><br />Orchid grabbed my hands, forcefully pushing them back away from her face, her eyes filling with anger. I sat back, "She is walking"<br /><br /><b><i>"No anger..."</i></b>. Nareth walks out the front doors of the laboratory and stands in the sun.<br /><br />"Orchid, please, I would never harm you, she can never harm you"<br /><b><br /><i>"You are overcome...with your love for her...and have meant no harm."</i></b><br /><br />"T-this way?"<br /><br />"Orchid, I love you, she has released me from my fears, I am overcome, I meant no harm, I mean no harm, please...". Orchid sighed.<br /><br />"Beq, doing anything that may hurt Rip harms me too..."<br /><br />Orchid nods, saddened. "Beq, you know I care about you, you're my best friend, but you know I love him."<br /><br />"Please, Orchid, forgive me"<br /><br />Nareth is standing at the wall, looking out across the Palisades. The sun hardly bothers her eyes. Nareth laughs.<br /><br /><b><i>"Love. Please, Orchid, forgive me."</i></b>, The phantom hands withdraw I can no longer feel them upon my body.<br /><br />Orchid takes Beq's hands in hers, looking straight into her eyes.<br /><br />"It's alright Beq, and, I... I'm so sorry. I, just thinking now, how hard it must be for you..."<br /><br />The crashing waves of sensation and emotion subside and I relax, my breathing slows a little. Orchid glances away nervously.<br /><br />"I certainly can't bear to lose you as a friend Beq, but I can be nothing more than that for you..."<br /><br />I feel a tear run down my cheek, for a moment unsure whether this tear is real.<br /><br />"Orchid, I .. I'm so sorry."<br /><br />"I-it's okay... I did say to you once, we can't choose who we love, did I not?", Orchid wipes away the tear on Beq's cheek.<br /><br />I nod sadly and smile, "now we're both crying". Orchid McMillan laughs slightly, wiping at her own face with her sleeve.<br /><br />"Beq.. are we.. going to be okay?"<br /><br />"I would not have chosen otherwise, Orchid, I had buried my love deep, this charm, this power, it...no there is no excuse, no blame but myself, I dropped my guard."<br /><br />Nareth stares up into the white winter sun. We are going to be wonderful, in fact.<br /><br />Orchid smiles slightly, eyeing the box on the floor.<br /><br />"You had no idea what it would do to you"<br /><br />"I cannot stop myself, my feelings, if you wish not to see me, I would understand."<br /><br />I could make her want you. I could make this happen, if you so wish, Mistress.<br /><br />Orchid trails off. Orchid turns back, facing Beq.<br /><br />"I know feelings cannot be erased, but, do you mean you cannot stop your advances? I...I don't wish to stop seeing you, but, with the charm changing you..."<br /><br />"I will be strong, we will be strong Orchid"<br /><br /><b><i>Nareth wishes that she still breathed, that she might see her breath... the thought an itch in my mind.</i></b><br /><br />Orchid McMillan smiles.<i> "We will be so, so strong.</i>" <i>the buzz</i>, I smiled back, squeezing Orchid's hands<i>. "You are not changed, Mistress. You only become more that which you have always been". </i>From the ramparts, Nareth stares towards Beq's house...<br /><br />"Will you be alright for the evening, I mean, with Nareth within you? I'm sure Rip is worried about how long I've been."<br /><br />An overwhelming guilt replaced the sensations<br /><br />"but, Orchid, you must understand the she is not to blame, those feelings were there already, buried, I lost control I showed my true feelings and you have shown me that that was wrong. I will be OK, you must go to him.<br /><b><br /><i>"Yes, tell the pretty flower pretty lies. Let her go. Let her run away to her man. You have no need of this wilted thing.</i>"</b><br /><br />Orchid McMillan nods, squeezing Beq's hand for a moment before standing.<br /><br />"I understand, but, I still will worry. Please, if you need us, you know where we'll be."<br /><br /><b><i>"If only you did not stay my hand, Mistress"</i>. Nareth's voice faded,<i> "You will have questions, Beq Janus. When you need answers, when you are ready, summon me."</i></b><br /><br />Orchid motioned to the door.<br /><br />"I-I can see myself out. Take care, Beq, and sleep well tonight."<br /><br />"I...I'm so sorry", I looked up, smiled, "it is OK, I will be fine. I am used to being alone, thank you , thank you for being there." My voice trailed off, standing slowly I walked to my bed and lay down. Orchid McMillan sighed.<br /><br />"It's okay Beq. It..it wouldn't be okay if it happened again, but, you know me... this, is all forgiven."<br /><br />Beq Janus looked down at the floor.<br /><br />"I love you Orchid", a whisper....<br /><br />Orchid smiled. "goodnight...", she stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her.<br /><br />I shook bodily shakes as a violent sobbing took hold of me, wracked with guilt, I cried myself to sleep.</div>Beqhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09981351499139596015noreply@blogger.com1